


Human

by Radioactivehelena



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Bullying, Depression, M/M, Multi, Other, Past Child Abuse, Slow Burn, Trans Character, diffrent POVs, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-08-05 12:54:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 66,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16368032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radioactivehelena/pseuds/Radioactivehelena
Summary: I wanna pick you up and scoop you out; I want the secretes your secrets haven’t foundAfter moving to Pottersville and being forced into yet another new school, Virgil meets three unlikely friends that change his life for the better. Logan, the reserved, AP, nerd, Roman, the overachieving theater geek and Patton who couldn’t stop making puns to save his life.Oh I’m so human...





	1. one

     Virgil was sitting in the counselor's office of his new high school, leg bouncing up and down as he watched the morning crowd filter in from the window across him. His new peers swam by in a sea of teenage angst and unpredictable hormones. They said hi to their friends after a summer of not seeing them, wrapping each other in bone crushing hugs. Virgil sat alone, envy cold and heavy in his chest. His efforts to distract himself with the posters of cartoons littered across the walls were in vain and Virgil was dragged back into the hell that was his  literal pitiful anime backstory.

 

    Moving to a new school was never easy. It hadn't been the past five times Virgil’s foster parents decided to pack up relocate to the middle of nowhere and it wasn't now. Whether it be a new fancy job, or the onslaught of bullies determined to make his and his siblings life hell, every move was the same. New town, new house, new school, and no new friends. But Virgil didn't care. All that mattered to him was that he survived until the inevitable next move.

 

   Besides, he thrived on being alone. It was a way to protect himself. He knew if he got too comfortable with anyone they would be whisked away the second he got close. God, his life really was like a poorly written manga.

 

   Virgil’s backpack was clenched tightly to his chest like a lifeline as he shifted on the couch he was sat on. The stuffing was worn down but comfy. He couldn't help but feel like he was sinking into the memory foam, steadily floating back towards sleep. He already missed the lazy days of summer where he could nap all of his problems away. What he would give to go back to that world of endless ice cream. And school hadn't even been in session for a whole five minutes. 

 

    The ever cheerful Dr. Emile decieded to step into his office just then, kicking his foot in the door rather unceremoniously, effectively waking Virgil up. The teen wrinkled his nose at the mans narwhal socks. No one over twelve years old should be wearing such an embarrassing garment.

 

“Virgil!” Emile exclaimed, radiating a childlike excitement. _Someone’s enthusiastic about the new school year_ Virgil thought bitterly. It was intimidating to be around someone so cheerful Virgil generally wasn't very good with peppy people, especially not this early in the morning. “Do you how do?”

 

    “Fine,” he replied on reflex. He was very obviously not _fine_ however. He had bags under his eyes that even the eyeshadow that he adorned couldn’t cover up, and his nails were bitten down bloody stubs. Old habits die hard and Virgil had been trying to kill that one for years.

 

     The smile on Emile’s lips quirked down ever so slightly before quickly turning back up into a wide grin. “Hmmh yes, well,” he started, hugging his journal against his chest. “I’ve arranged for someone to show you around the school today.” Seeming to sense the younger man's apprehension, Emile sat down at his chair. It was best to seem non-threatening in situations like these. He smiled softly at the Inside Out pop figurine at the edge of his desk before continuing. “I know it’s hard moving to a new school Virgil, but I promise you, I’ll do everything in my control to make it a smooth transition.”

 

    Virgil just nodded his head, he’d heard it all before. Every school he’d moved to had the same guidance counselor’s promising the same things. Sure, the other psychologists might not have been _quite_ as obsessed with children’s cartoons, but the message was always the same. _Blah blah blah, feel right at home, blah blah blah, something about new beginnings._ Virgil could probably recite it in his sleep.

 

 

    “Anywho-” Mr. Emile smiled, seeming unphased by Virgil’s indifference. “Patton Heart from the wellness club will be showing you around. He has the same schedule as you, and he’s an incredible young man! If anything should come up however, don’t hesitate to stop by! You know where my office is.” the therapist ended with a smile, leaning over the mountains of unfinished paperwork on his desk to give Virgil his full attention. Virgil sunk lower into the couch in reply.

 

    With a small sigh through his nose, Emile pushed himself up and continued to grin at the anxious student in front of him. “Well I guess you better get going then huh?” Virgil followed the doctors lead, and stood as well, swinging his book bag over his shoulders. He knew the inevitable was coming, that he'd have to leave the safe heaven of this little office, and that instead of looking out the window, he'd have to join the students and start his classes.  

    With a sigh, Virgil shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and shuffled from foot to foot as Emilie opened the door to reveal a young man sitting in one of the chairs from across the office. The boy had messy, unkempt curls that fell into his freckled face and bright blue eyes that lit up like the New York City skyline at just seeing Virgil emerge from Dr. Emile’s office.

 

    He stood in such a flurry of enthusiasm and happy squeals that his own glasses nearly fell off his nose. Then he rushed over, and threw his arms around Virgil, all but knocking him flat on the ground. As Virgil struggled to regain his composure, tripping over his own feet, Dr. Emile’s eyes widened in shock.

 

    “Hey now Patton!” he said quickly and the boy detached himself from Virgil who was still struggling to gain his composure. “Personal space.”

 

    “Right sorry!” Patton giggled, and sheepishly held his hands behind his back, obviously trying to hold himself together. He was vibrating with adrenaline, positively beaming. “Nice-uh! Nice to meet you! I’m Patton!” He stuck out one hand, waiting for Virgil to shake it. Virgil obliged, surprised at how gentle Patton was able to be, despite seeming to be so hyped up on caffeine.

 

     “I'm Virgil,” Virgil said, trying to remain his calm. Meeting new people had always been anxiety provoking, even as a kid. The overwhelming need to impress was an issue Virgil struggled with since the good old days but never seemed to actually address. Maybe if he stuck around long enough, he could talk to Dr. Emile about that. “But you can call me Virge.”

 

     “I'm so excited to be showing you around Virge! We have a _classy_ school!” Patton beamed, at his own pun, and Dr. Emile laughed in reply. Virgil, just nodded, secretly gawking on the inside. Had that Patton kid had made a pun? A school related pun, inside of school?! It was kinda great… in a ‘I don't care who beats me up behind the bleachers' kinda way.

 

     But Patton was unphased, used to a variety of differing reactions to his jokes. He started going through the messenger bag at his side, digging around the mess of papers and pens.

 

     Dr. Emile cleared his throat as Patton continued his search, gaining the attention of the two boys. “Virgil, Patton's a great kid.” Patton’s hands froze and he looked up from his bag, a shy smile of embarrassment on his face. “You're in good hands. Good luck on your first day.”

 

    “Thanks.” Virgil huffed, shoving his hands back in his pockets and watching the man go. He longed to follow him, to curl up on his couch under the watchful eyes of his Pop figurine collection and take a much needed nap. The urge to shut out the rest of the world was loud and persistent in Virgil's head. Everything would be so much easier if he didn't try, if he didn't _need_ to try, but he couldn't do that, not to his parents and not to himself.

 

    With a deep breath, Virgil turned towards the stranger in front of him. He knew he had to face the first day at his new school. He knew it wouldn't be easy, hell he knew it would be hard, but it was something he _had to do_. Virgil wouldn't disappoint himself, _he wouldn’t disappoint his parents_ , by having a panic attack on the first day and being forced to drop out from shame.

 

     “We have the same schedule so-so, here!” Patton finally found what he was looking for from the depths of his bag and thrust it forward eagerly. It was creased and wrinkled, but he hoped Virgil wouldn't mind. He so badly want to befriend the shiny new kid and make him feel comfortable. Patton couldn't imagine having to move schools. Packing everything up, then traveling to somewhere unknown and foreign, having to say goodbye to all your old friends and memories. It sounded absolutely dreadful! Patton was going to do to everything in his control to make Virgil feel as at home as he possibly could. Even if that included accidently ruining his new schedule...

 

    “Thanks,” Virgil muttered, looking over the paper, taking note of the different colored stickers next each class. Right as Virgil started freaking about about the different symbols (he had no clue they even made this many types of smiley face stickers!!) Patton nodded his head towards the door and started venturing into the crowded hallway.

 

    “You like that?” Patton asked hopefully, pulling open the door for Virgil and letting him step out first. “I color coordinated it!” And Patton really meant it. He really hoped Virgil liked it. Patton really wanted this kid to like _him_ , to feel safe in the new school and maybe even make a new friend. He wanted it so badly he felt it physically in his chest. He had spent hours organizing a system, putting stickers next to the classes that were father away from Virgil's locker and experticaly picking out the colors. Green meant the classes were close by and red meant that he might have to run.

 

    Virgil pursed his lips, fighting back a grimace. The stickers were complicated and the colors were confusing, but it looked like Patton had spent a lot of time on it… “Yeah whatever.” He shrugged, watched the smile on Patton's lips dip momentarily before quickly returning to the ever present grin. Virgil's gut twisted, and he bit the inside of his cheek hard. Less then one hour in and he'd already hurt someone's feelings.

 

    Stifling his disappointment, Patton pulled out his own scheduled with similar stickers and started going over there day. “We have chemistry after homeroom, then math, then gym.” Patton made a face, scrunching up his nose in disgust. He wasn't particularly fond of lab work, but he disliked physical activity even more. It was often hot and sweaty, and the other students liked to show off while Patton almost always fell behind. The only good thing about gym class was all the sports related puns. “I bet it’ll be a _ball,”_  he joked, smiling up at Virgil and looking for a positive reaction.

 

     The afourmentioned kiddo just heaved a small, pity-laugh through his nose and continued to scan the halls. His shoulders were hunched, and it looked like he was trying to disappear into his jacket, obviously frightened by the heavy crowd of rambunctious students. That just wouldn't do! Luckily Patton had memorized numerous ice breakers in case this happened. As they finally started nearing their lockers, Patton shifted through the list of questions in his head, thinking of the best one he might ask. He really didn't want to mess this up. Patton wanted a new friend so, _so_ badly. There weren't many people willing to hang out with the silly and strange kid at school who made puns at the drop of a hat, but Patton was hopeful about Virgil.

 

     Virgil watched attentively as the number of students in the hallway began to slowly dwindle. Everyone had friends. Everyone had a group or a clique to talk to except for him. It was better off that way. He preferred to keep his head down and stay out of people's way. It made it easier for when it came time to say goodbye. Or when Virgil inevitably messed up. That way, no one even knew he was there or knew who he was, and no one cared.

 

     “H-h-hey what kinda school do you go to if you're an ice-cream man?” Patton asked eagerly, breaking Virgil from his spiral of thoughts, looking up at him with that ever present, hopeful grin.

 

    Ah yes, but then there was Patton. He seemed so determined for Virgil’s friendship, and Virgil greatly appreciated the efforts. It would take a complete monster to shut out that warm, bright, smile. Virgil cracked. “What?”

 

     Patton brightened and covered his mouth to stop himself from giggling. He paused, right next to a row of lockers, bursting with joy and excitement. People never wanted to hear his jokes! He usually found them groaning in annoyance before he had even finished talking. Virgil was a nice change in pace. “Sundae school!” Patton said quickly before Virgil could change his mind and tell him shut up.

 

    The taller boy smirked, an uncontrollable laugh bubbling up through his throat. He quickly slapped his hand over his mouth, trying to hide his smile, and looked away. He had an image to uphold! But Patton's beaming face was contagious, and he's already seen the emo boy's facade crumple. Virgil hide his face behind his bangs. “Good one,” He muttered.

 

    “Thanks!” Patton sang, leaning against the lockers. “It's one of my _sweeter_ puns!” Virgil blinked in confusion, and Patton shrugged. “Cause ice cream is sweet?! Eh forget it, that was a long shot anyways.” Stepping away from Virgil for a moment he started turning the padlock on the locker door.

 

    The locker clicked open with a creak and Patton smiled widely. The inside was decorated with cut outs from old baby animal calendars and a picture of a little Patton on his first day of school. The kid was wearing a radiant smile with both of their front teeth missing and a backpack threatening to swallow them whole. Yup that was Patton alright. Virgil marveled at the chaotic organization this kid had, there were binders everywhere and even a string of fairy lights haphazardly taped up!

 

    “This is my locker!” Patton hummed, then gently tapped the locker next to his. “And this one’s yours!” Virgil nodded sheepishly, watching as Patton expertly opened it. He turned the lock this way and that, and with a thick _click_ the locker opened. Virgil concluded he’d never get his locker open again; he could barely even follow Patton as he expertly turned the lock.

 

   The locker itself was bare and depressing compared to the one next to it, but at least now Virgil had a place to store all his heavy school supplies. He set down his bag, sorting through his books and mulling over which ones to leave behind. He didn't want to forget any and fall back in his classes, but he also didn't want to have to run to his locker and wind up being late (despite Patton's not-so helpful schedule) for class.

 

    Cautiously Virgil looked up at his new friend? mutual acquaintance? tour guide? And cleared his throat. “Hey, um, what books do you think I’ll need today?” he asked, still kneeling next to his backpack on the floor, hands hovering over its contents.

 

    Patton perked up at the sound of Virgil's voice and smiled brightly down at him. “Don't worry about that!” Patton shook his head and leaned down next to Virgil, squinting at the Algebra textbook. “Teachers hardly ever use books on the first day. It's all getting to know you quizzes and class syllabuses.” He reached for one of the folders Virgil flinched instinctively. His eyes widened as he realized what he’d done and he rushed to make it right, situating himself back to his former position, a cold sweat breaking out on the back of his neck.

 

   “It’ll all be okay kiddo.” Patton's eyes narrowed in concern but he didn't say anything else. He just watched as Virgil blinked in confusion at being called a kiddo. With a small sigh, Patton continued to load the rest of his supplies into Virgil's locker. However the worry in Patton's gut was drowned out momentarily by the hum of other students around him and he was forcibly dug out of his thoughts. Patton sat back on his knees and sighed.

 

     “We should probably get going before the bell rings huh?” Virgil nodded numbly, swallowing down the lump in his throat. His locker was full, the day was beginning, and Patton hadn’t mentioned how truly weird he was behaving. Throwing his book bag back over his shoulders and shoving his hands back in his sweatshirt pockets, Virgil tried to convince himself that everything would be okay. That he wouldn't totally freak out before second period. He followed Patton the short walk to the next stop, clenching and unclenching his fists nervously. He kept his eyes planted on the ground and forced himself to _just breathe damn it._

 

     “Aaanyways! This is your homeroom classroom!” Patton sang, opening the door and pulling Virgil from his thoughts. “I know it might not be that exciting but twenty minutes of your day are spent here!” Virgil squinted at the tables lined up in neat rows as well as the brightly colored posters on the wall. In the far corner of the room was a tiny library, accustomed with different books about the environment and a cozy rug on the floor. The teacher's desk was currently inhabited but there was a small rainbow flag inside the pencil holder and the third Harry Potter book tipped upside down, keeping its place. A smile almost tugged at Virgil's lips at how cozy it was in here. Like the teacher wanted it to be a home away from home  

 

     “Mr. Sanders is also our science teacher!” Patton smiled, rocking back and forth on his feet. “He runs the LGBT+ club too! And debate club! And environmental club, I think!”

 

    Virgil nodded, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously. There was so much information to take in! This school was _much_ bigger than his old school (the old one had thirty kids total), and much more intimidating. They had double the amount of clubs and triple the amount of funding. He’d be lucky to survive the next hour. However Patton seemed like he enjoyed it here, so maybe it wasn't all that terrible. “Sweet,” Virgil said nonchalantly, looking back at the kid in front of him.

 

    More students started filing in, a sea of adolescent sleep deprivation. Patton clenched the strap of his messenger back and watched with a tight lipped smile. “Wanna sit with me kiddo?”

 

      “Yeah sure.” Virgil muttered, not quite sure where else he _would_ sit. Patton took a seat in the first row, letting Virgil slide into the chair next to him. The bell rang, loud and shrill, but there was no teacher in sight. Nervously, Virgil tapped his fingers on the edge of the table as the rest of his fellow peers continued to chatter.

 

     Even Patton seemed nonchalant, tipping back his chair and resting it on two of its four prongs. “Don't worry!” The chair teetered, threatning to throw Patton to the ground. “Sometimes Mr. Sanders is late! He's b-been my homeroom teacher for uh, uh, this is… the third year now!”

 

    Virgil nodded, startled by Patton's chair mishap, but even more startled that the teacher didn't show up. What kinda teacher wasn't there for the first day of school?

 

    Just as Virgil's thoughts really started to spiral the door was shoved open and in stepped a chaotic looking mess of a man trying to straighten his tie. “Sorry I'm late!” He chirped, struggling towards the front of the room. He pushed his way through the rows of tables and unceremoniously dropped his brief case next to his desk. “Forgot how bad traffic was this early in the morning, and my alarm didn't go off and then I needed to say good morning to my-” he paused for a second, cheeks during a dark shade of red. He took a quick moment to collect himself. The classroom gave a little snicker at his haggard appearance but the second he turned a a beaming smile at the drowsy students in front him they fell silent. “Morning class!”

 

    “Morning!” Patton replied, a chorus of just as eager and sleepy responds muddled with his. “It's so nice to see all your smiling faces again and a sunny hello to all you new people!” He turned pointedly towards Virgil who slouched in his seat, ready for the same speech he received from his new teachers every year. _Welcome back, be respectful, random facts about me blah blah blah_ _let's embarrass this new kid by making him stand in the front of the class!_

 

     “I'm Mr. Sanders! I'm the biology and chemistry teacher, as well as your homeroom teacher! And may I be the first to welcome you back to Pottersville High School!”


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw - anxiety, self deprecating thoughts, creepy gym teacher

     By the time gym rolled around Virgil was exhausted, and it was only fourth period. The first half of the day had been tedious, filled with the same greetings from almost identical teachers. As Virgil had floated from class to class all he could think about was the impending homework and his inevitable failure. It left a weight in his stomach and threatened to swallow him whole. He kept counting down the hours, minutes, seconds, until he got to go home and collapse in his warm, comfy bed, maybe watch some YouTube or just sleep. The only real highlight had been Patton. Patton and his bright, bubbly personality, barely keeping Virgil awake. The kid cracked jokes every other minute and was so easy to get along with even Virgil found himself liking him. 

 

    The gym coach instructed the class to head to the locker room and with a sigh Virgil picked himself off the dusty gymnasium floor to follow his new friend. “They use the lottery in football who knew?!” the shorter boy laughed, a skip in his step as he crossed the gym. Virgil was pretty damn sure the lottery had nothing to do with football, or even sports for that matter. 

 

“Well you know what they say,” Virgil started, smirking at the way Patton cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. “Those who can’t teach, teach gym.” 

 

     “Hey!” Patton cried, playfully hitting Virgil on the arm. He winced when he saw the boy flinch; as he had forgotten the incident from that morning. “Be nice!” 

 

    “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Virgil rolled his eyes, pulling open the changing room door for Patton. A smile tugged at Virgil's lips and he forced it down. He realized that he liked fooling around with Patton. That it was easy to make Patton laugh and that he wanted to impress him. A pang of anxiety hit Virgil at that thought. What would happen when he undoubtedly screwed up? Or when he slipped and panicked in front of him? Would Patton still want to hang out with him then? Or was Patton pretending this entire time, fulfilling his task as a tour guide and just waiting to abandon Virgil? 

 

    “What about this one?” Patton asked, grabbing the locker closest to the bathroom. Virgil shrugged, still caught up in his own thoughts. 

 

   Patton smiled softly and nodded, sitting on one of the benches in the middle of the locker room, swinging his feet restlessly. He awkwardly tapped his fingers against the wood, numbly feeling it scrape against his skin. He could tell something was bothering the younger teen but just couldn't tell  _ what _ . Patton hoped it wasn't anything he had said or done. He knew he often could be too much to handle-too loud or annoying, and didn't want to scare him away. 

 

    Patton had really been hoping for someone new to hang out with. The past couple of years had been a slow and lonely trudge through his school work, with only Dr. Emile willing to be his friend. Patton had hidden his insecurities by making jokes and puns about cheesy cartoons, but even that couldn't hide how deep down, he just wanted someone to connect with. With a sigh, Patton thought back to the icebreakers he had memorized and tried to pick the perfect one to break the awkward silence that was building up between the two of them. “Uuh, you like Harry Potter?” Patton asked gently, desperate for conversation. 

 

    The tips of Virgil’s lips quivered as he struggled to remain neutral. “Yeah, actually, I do.” 

    Patton brightened like a candle being lit in the middle of a power outage and he leaned forward, watching Virgil carefully. “I love Harry Potter! I'm a hufflepuff what about you?” 

 

    Virgil cringed internally and crossed his arms against his chest protectively as he leaned against the lockers. “Slytherin, I guess. Who's your favorite character?” he asked, ready for a subject change. The Harry Potter houses were always a tricky issue with Virgil. While he loved the books, he never truly felt like he could fit in anywhere. The world of outcast Slytherins didn't seem to fit him, but neither did anything else. He was alone, and even the fictional world liked to remind him of that. 

 

   “Neville!” Patton said without missing a beat. He was so happy Virgil was taking to him and taking initiative he couldn't help himself. 

 

    “Oh?” Virgil asked, furrowing his brows. People often named Harry or Dumbledore as their favorite characters. Neville, the shy but devoted gryffindor definitely wasn't the most popular character. “Can I ask why?” 

 

     “Sure you can kiddo!” Patton giggled. “I just-uh, I think he's brave, and loyal, and-and smart! He risked his life for his friends, and didn't care about the consequences. He always put others before him despite years of bullying and abuse from Snape.” Patton pursed his lips and grimaced, but he quickly snapped a smile back on his face. Virgil pretended he didn't notice. “And he had a nice glow up!” He laughed, but even Virgil could tell it was slightly forced. 

 

   Choosing to ignore it, Virgil smirked, and pushed himself off the lockers to sit next to Patton. “Yeah, I guess he's  _ pretty _ okay.” He shrugged his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

 

“Well then who do you like best?” Patton asked in mock offense. 

 

    Virgil paused for a moment to pondered, then smiled gingerly. “Probably Tonks.” 

 

“Ooooh!” Patton awed. “She's a good choice.”

 

“Yeah.” Virgil agreed. “She's the most badass hufflepuff.”

 

“Plus she can just change her appearance like, whenever! No hair dye needed or anything!” 

 

   “Sounds like a dream come true.” Virgil mussed, and leaned back. "Do you know how fast purple hair dye fades?" It was annoying true. What he wouldn't give to have Tonks' powers. Looking up at the ceiling, Virgil didn't notice as the coach entered their row of lockers, interrupting their conversation. He was a stocky, old man, missing some hair on top his head, but he seemed nice enough. 

 

    “Locker number 24,” He muttered and squared his shoulders, digging in the bag around his shoulders for a lock. “Good choice.” 

 

     “Thanks!” Patton beamed, vibrating with energy. Virgil squinted at him as he stood up to take the lock from the couch. The older guy winked at Patton as the lock was passed from his hands, then smacked the smaller boy on the back hard enough to make him wobble. 

 

    Virgil's gut clenched. What the hell was that?! He stood up so fast he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. There was an itch in the back of his mind, screaming. Screaming to protect Patton who had shown him nothing but innocent kindness and most likely  _ didn't _ understand what was going on, and was just as utterly confused and horrified as Virgil. 

 

    But the coach was already waving bye to them, writing something down on his clipboard and heading towards his office. Virgil felt nothing but acute anger for this man who he barely knew. Numbly he heard the bell ring over his heart beating in his chest and surged towards Patton. 

      “Ready to go kiddo?” Patton asked, sweeping his messenger bag off the floor. Virgil clenched his fists. 

 

“Uh yeah sure,” He stuttered, catching his breath. “Can we uh…” 

 

    “Keep talking about Harry Potter? Of course we can!” Patton chimed in, his throat tight. He felt bad for cutting the other boy off, hot guilt swimming around in his stomach, but he couldn't let Virgil know. At least, not yet. 

 

-

 

   Virgil sat in the crowded cafeteria alone and waited for Patton to escape the lunch line. Students avoided his table like the plague and instead opted to sit with their friends. Entire tables filled up, but Virgil still sat by himself, brooding inside of his comfy black sweatshirt. 

 

      The gym incident was odd... but Patton obviously didn't want to talk about it. And Virgil wasn't one to disrespect boundaries. Though, he still felt a strange surge of protective anxiety wash over him as he thought about the creepy old gym coach. The way he had winked at Patton and then patted him on the back… there was something off about it. Patton was friendly. Patton was kind. Patton was going to get hurt. Virgil hunched over in his chair, purple bangs falling in front of his eyes. Rarely was he so easily taken with a person but Patton just had a certain aura about him. 

 

     Shoving his cheese sandwich into his mouth, Virgil tried to ignore those thoughts and focus on literally anything else. Perking up, he noticed that the certain rambunctious boy on his mind was already sitting on the other side of the cafeteria, tucked into the far corner, animatedly having a conversation with someone else. A strange ache filled his chest and Virgil took a rather harsh bite of his lunch. 

 

      The buzz of the rest of the school turned into background noise and his ears started to ring. The friendly conversation, the jokes and laughs, it had all been a show. Of course Patton had abandoned Virgil at the first opportunity he saw. Patton had other people, other, better, people to hang out with. Of course he did. It wasn't hard to find people better then Virgil. Disappointment stung at his eyes and he pretended to be interested in a stain on the table as to ignore the thoughts floating around in head. Patton didn't care. No one did. 

 

     “Why is he not coming over?” Logan asked Patton, looking up at his acquaintance through thick rimmed glasses. 

 

“I-I dunno…” Patton muttered, still standing up and trying to wave Virgil down. 

 

“I suggest you stop waving your hand and go invite him here yourself,” Logan muttered with a shrug. "He can not see you anyways." He and Patton both knew this seating arrangement was only out of convenience for the both of them, so that they didn't have to sit alone. Being the  _ weird  _ kid at school was hard for Patton, and it was  _ sometimes _ just as hard for Logan. Having an ally made it easier to blend in with the crowd.

 

“I-I asked him to sit with me after P.E..”  Patton muttered with a heavy sigh and he plopped back down, looking defeated. He couldn't help but think,  maybe Virgil didn't want to sit with him. Perhaps he had gotten tired of his jokes and teasing already. 

 

    “Why don't you try again?” Logan mumbled nonchalantly, making small talk. Small talk always helped when interacting with Patton. The other kid sure liked his mindless chatter. 

 

   “Yeah I guess so…” Patton mused, not sure why he hadn't thought of that before and pushed himself up. Nervously he stumbled over to Virgil's table and cleared his throat to get his attention. 

 

    “Kiddo,” Virgil heard someone say quietly over his sulking, and he ignored it. “Hey, kiddo, is everything okay?” Again Virgil ignored it, fueled by anger and disappointment. Patton had forgotten about him and opted to sit with someone else. Patton had abandonded him on purpose. Virgil had gotten up his hopes and probably found him annoying and was only doing this out of common courtesy. Virgil wouldn't give him the satisfaction of turning around. If Patton really didn't want to hang out with him, then Virgil wouldn't force him. 

 

  Patton bit his lip and nervously sat next to Virgil, facing his back. “Do you wanna talk about anything?” he asked desperately, when there wasn't a reply. “Did something happen? I know first day's can be tough.” When Virgil wouldn't even look at him, Patton felt his resolve come crumbling down around him. He had somehow messed up his chances at friendship with Virgil and he didn't even know how. 

 

    His heart sinking, Patton decided to try one more time. “You can still come sit with us if you want, but if you’d rather sit here I understand kiddo.” He muttered. 

 

    “What?!” Virgil snapped, turning around to finally face Patton, whose eyes were wide with shock. “You fucking-fucking-what are you talking about?!” Virgil quietly fumed. Anger was his best defense mechanism. It was the only way people ever listened to him. 

 

    Patton swallowed thickly. “I-... language!” was the first thing he could muster, still taken aback by Virgil's little outburst. “D-d-didn't you see me trying to wave you over?” He pointed to Logan who raised his head from his lunch with pursed lips, then calmly returned to his food. 

 

    Virgil's walls came crashing down and he deflated, all but melting into the uncomfortable cafeteria chairs. “No-I'm sorry.” He sighed heavily and hung his head in shame. 

 

   “It's alright!” Patton reassured fervently, throwing out his hands as if that would help, quickly reminding himself not to touch the other boy. Virgil simply withered even farther in response. Patton was so quick to forgive. “You didn't know. It's my fault, really.” 

 

     Patton furrowed his brows and frowned at Virgil, who was clearly still upset. “Plus it's only your first day, things must be so stressful. Why don't you come sit with us now?” 

 

   With a nod, Virgil collected his frayed nerves and his half eaten cheese sandwich, determined not to disappoint again. He stood up and followed Patton towards a table nestled in the far corner. There was only one other kid besides Patton, and for that Virgil was greatful. He'd already had enough human interaction for the day as it was even without his embrassing little meltdown. As he slid into his seat he gave Patton a tight lipped smile. 

 

   “Virgil,” Patton hummed, once he was situated. His voice was strained and lacked its usual pep, but Logan gave him the benefit of the doubt. It was the first day afterall. “I’d like you to meet Logan!” 

 

    “Greetings,”Logan stated, giving this new kid ‘Virgil’ a once over. He had purple hair that was slowly growing out brown at the roots and dark makeup under his eyes which seemed to be trying to cover up even darker bags. Logan met Virgil’s deep grey eyes for a solid two seconds before looking away, uncomfortable. However, Virgil seemed totally cool with this and they both returned to their respective lunches.

 

    His food tasted like cardboard but Logan forced himself to swallow anyways. The new kid didn't seem too bad, and the monochrome aesthetic was much appreciated. It was much easier to look at then Patton's normal brightly colored garments. 

 

    “Nice to meet you,” Virgil muttered, squirming under Logans harsh gaze. Why Patton sat with anyone who wore a necktie was beyond Virgil. But then again, Virgil had just thrown a tantrum for being denied attention and Patton wasn't running away yet. “Uuuh, how did you two meet?” Virgil asked, internally cringing at his own incompetence. 

 

    Logan just blinked. So this boy knew of Patton's habit in pleasantry as well? He was obviously new as Patton often volunteered to hurtle around kids new to the school at the start of the year, but rarely were they so accustomed to Pattons mannerisms. Generally by the second week Logan and Patton were left alone again, with no new nuisance and no new friend, respectively. 

 

      “It's a funny story actually!” Patton started as he smiled over at Logan “We both sat alone at lunch so we decided, hey! Why not sit alone, together!” 

 

    “It fail to see how that's funny,” Logan spoke up and Pattons beaming grin wavered. “And while it might sound quite somber Virgil, it's really not. We both benefit from this arrangement and it's preferable to sitting alone.” Virgil nodded slowly, trying not to stare. No normal teenager used the word somber in a serious conversation. 

    However Patton just lightly hit Logan on the arm, smiling wide. “Logan makes it sound like a contract or something but it's just two friends having fun!” He grinned, taking a bite of his pizza. It looked like cheese melted onto cardboard. Virgil suddenly felt very lucky that he didn't buy the school lunches. 

 

    “Of course it's not a contract. You can leave whenever you like.” Logan muttered, letting the conversation lull. If Patton seemed hurt by this, he didn't let it show. Logan often struggled with the nicessities that Patton enjoyed so much. If there wasn't anything of importance to say, why say it at all? Besides he much preferred the solitude of his mind. 

 

    “Thinking of joining any clubs?” Patton turned to ask Virgil after he had swallowed a sip of his chocolate milk, smiling softly. He knew lunch with Logan was often filled with awkward silences or forced conversation and he wanted to make Virgil comfortable. That didn't mean of course that he didn't still care for Logan, but he knew first hand how hard it could be to get along with him. But Logan was his friend. Patton wouldn't trade lunch with the nerd for the world. 

 

   “Uh, yeah actually.” Virgil cleared his throat. “Art club seems cool. So does chess club.”

 

    Logan perked up at the mention of art club and turned to the emo seated across from him. “Don't join art club,” he stated, pushing up his glasses. “It's full of pretentious, deceitful, hypocrites who like to mock others in order to feel self fulfillment.” Logan pretended he didn't see Patton's grimace of sympathy and continued, as informative as ever. “Chess club, however, is fun and mentally stimulating. I believe you'd find it satisfactory.”

 

   “Uh.” Virgil mussed, nodding. “Thanks, I guess.” 

 

“Oh no, I wasn't done,” Logan deadpanned, still steadily staring at Virgil. “What about debate club? I'm the President and I would enjoy it if you'd join.” 

 

    “I’d love to join!” Patton sang, all but jumping out of his seat. “When is it?!”

 

    Startled, Logan looked over at the smaller boy. He had only meant to invite Virgil. The little introvert would have been a great addition to the team. Not only was he already interested in chess club (a club that Logan attended regularly in his freshman year) but he seemed to have picked up on Patton's patterns easily and had already made an agreeable first impression. Patton however was energetic and easily emotional. He spoke his mind without thinking first. He was riddled with pesky emotions and feelings which had very little evidence to back up their motives. Logan liked Patton, but as a lunch companion and nothing more. Having him in the club could cost the team greatly. And Logan had debates to win!

 

   Swallowing thickly, Logan struggled to gently let down the smaller boy. His blue eyes still shined with excitement as Patton awaited Logans answer and he smiled so widely it must have hurt. “Every Tuesday and Thursday,” Logan said before he could stop himself. 

 

    Patton beamed, delighted that he’d been invited to Logan's club. “Can't wait!” 

 

    “But you will have to,” Logan muttered, almost a question and Patton gave him the most genuine smile he had ever seen. It shone like the sun on a pleasant spring day, feeding the plants and warming the inhabitants of earth. 

 

“Figure of speech Lo.” 

 

“Oh yes, of course,” he muttered, flustered, cheeks flaming red. 

 

    “Uh, so what do you even do in a debate club?” Virgil spoke up tentatively and Logan brightened. This was more his style. 

 

“You discuss and argue topics involving opposite viewpoints.” he started. “At the end of the year there is a competition, all the debate clubs in the area face off. It is... impressive.”

 

    “Oooh will we get to do that?!” Patton asked hopefully, jumping up and down in his seat, nearly making the whole table shake. 

 

    “I hope so.” Logan couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face unbeknownst to the anxiety he had just caused the new student. 

 

    As the bell rang, Virgil gathered his stuff and tried to ignore the bile that crawled its way up his throat. His head was spinning, rapidly so, and as he numbly watched Patton wave goodbye to Logan, Virgil realized he had no clue what he had gotten himself into. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thanks for reading! I actually managed to post a week later wow! thanks again to princelogical on tumblr for reading this chapter and checking grammar!
> 
> find me on tumblr - radioactivehelena


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang meets a certain eccentric, creative, boy, that makes their trio a quartet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - self deprecating thoughts

     Patton was riddled with excitement and apprehension at the begginging of the second week of school. His classwork was starting to pile up and getting up at five in the morning was pure torture. But atleast at school he got to escape his house and hang out with his friends! He enjoyed spending time with Virgil. Sure, the kid was a little rough around the edges, but he was intelligent and easy to talk to. Patton just hoped that with the arrival of the first debate club meeting today, the little emo wouldn't have a change of heart and suddenly decide he no longer wanted to be his friend.

 

    It had happened so many times before. People had gotten to know Patton and then decided he had too many issues or was too hyper or made too many bad jokes. The only constant in Patton's life had been Logan, and while he wasn't complaining, it had been incredibly hard to get the geek to come out of his shell. But Virgil would be different. He seemed friendly and actually interested in making the friendship work. Patton was just hoping it all worked out in the end.

 

    “Hey!” Patton beamed, coming up to Virgil after home-ec. Eighth period was the only class they didn't have together, as each boy took different electives. 

 

    “Hey,” Virgil muttered, a smile faintly parting his lips. The emo was always surprised when Patton remembered to greet him at the end of the day, despite the familiar routine they had fallen into. At his old school, the only people who ever asks how he was doing were the teachers. 

 

    “How was art?” Patton asked as he slipped his books into his locker.

 

    “This kid Elliot in my class seems cool, but I'm pretty sure he'd hate me if I actually tried to talk to him,” Virgil answered easily, hoisting his back over his shoulder. “But other than that, pretty good.”

 

    “Just give him time,” Patton muttered, his mouth momentarily quirking into a frown. Patton didn't see how anyone could hate Virgil, but the latter seemed to think it was a fairly common trait amonst his peers. With a sigh, Patton adjusted strap of his messenger bag and turned to Virgil, wondering what the boy thought of him. Did Virgil think he hated him too? “Ready for debate club?”

 

    “Yeah.” Virgil swallowed, not particularly excited. Hearing his own voice and talking in front of crowds? Not necessarily his favorite pastime. “Where is it again?”

 

     “Mr. Sanders room!” Patton smiled just as Logan walked up to them. He'd lost the tie since the first day of school, but was still all work and no play. Patton found it boring. Virgil found it intimidating.

 

    “Greetings,” Logan said trying to shove down his excitement for the first club meeting. However he couldn't help the small smile that threatened to light up his normally somber face. “Are you two prepared for today?” He'd already ducked into the classroom durning his free time and had set it up like an actual debate. Despite knowing they wouldn't really argue anything today and that Virgil and Patton were the only two signed up, the knowledge that it was _finally_ happening made his nerves tingle with energy.

 

    Logan had fought the school board tooth and nail for this stupid club. All they wanted to do was spend their money on unnecessary equipment, things that didn't need to be replaced or salaries that didn't need to be raised. Logan had begged teacher after teacher to be the advisor until he had stumbled upon Mr. Sanders, who had fought just as hard for the club as Logan. Now, after a year of arguing and battling it out with ‘the man’ he could finally start his little club. Logan couldn't wait to win the national debate and shove it everyone's faces. 

 

    “Ready as I'll ever be,” Virgil grumbled as Patton flashed Logan a thumbs up. Yes, despite his first impressions Logan knew the three of them would make a great team. With Patton's enthusiasm and Virgil's healthy dose of skepticism there wasn't anything they couldn't argue their way out of. Logan was sure of it, he had spent the past week convincing himself so.

 

    Between lunch and the one English class they all had together Logan had told himself things would work out. Virgil had warmed up to him greatly through his appreciation for poetry and his realistic thinking. Logan found the boy easier to understand then other people he came across and he couldn't tell why. Sure Virgil may have been more... emotional charged then Logan was used to, but the negative comments and crippling self doubt only seemed to draw him in more. Talking with Virgil was like a debate in its self. 

 

        _“I can't do it,” Virgil had said during a random lunch period, gripping his pencil so tightly it looked like it was about to break. A more emotionally adept person would have noticed the tears behind his eyes, but Logan had just noticed that the very math problem he was stuck on was almost finished. And practically done correctly!_

 

_“Hey now kiddo, just try again. You've got this!” Patton had tried in vain to calm him down, but Virgil had just shaken his head and pushed his hands into his eyes, swallowing thickly._

 

_“Why are you giving up?” Logan had asked, genuinely confused, ignoring the warning look Patton had shot at him. “You are almost there.”_

 

_“No,” Virgil had whispered and furiously wiped at his eyes. The frustration was plain as day in his voice, rough and course, like he was about to snap. “I just… it's stupid alright. I can't do algebra. I might as well just give up.”_

 

_“But Virgil,” Logan had tried again, even as Patton had started rubbing soothing circles on Virgil's back. “Look, you're almost done.” Using his pencil, Logan had reached over the table to point out where Virgil was stuck. “You just have to divide them both by twenty eight and then-”_

 

_“X equals four!” Virgil had gasped, picking up his own pencil and scrambling to write down the answer. “Thank you so much Logan!”_

 

_Logan smiled softly as he sat back down. “Anytime. Do you require assistance with your next question?”_

 

_“Do you mind?” the younger boy had asked nervously and Logan had said no, of course not._

 

He saw so much intelligence inside of Virgil, just waiting to boil over and be shared with the world, but Logan also sensed how much Virgil was held back by his fears. He wanted to help the little emo, help couch him out of his self hating tendencies and teach him how to become more confident in himself. Not that Logan was one to talk though. His own insecurities lead him to search out projects like these, like the debate club or fixing a friends self esstem. Projects like these could help to prove that he was worth it. 

 

     “Well c'mon then,” Patton sang, bouncing on the balls of his feet, knocking Logan back into the present. The smaller boy took Virgil by the sleeve of his hoodie and all but dragged him towards the classroom, eager and ready to have fun. He was just so _happy_ Logan had thought of him and hadn't decided to backpedal and kick him out. Even if he didn't like fighting, Patton couldn't wait to argue with his friends.  

 

    Sending Patton a worried glance Virgil paused outside the door and waited for Logan. His nerves didn't seem to want to calm down. And over a stupid club too. Seeming to sense his apprehension, Patton laced his hand with Virgil's and squeezed it gently. The younger boy nearly jumped out of his skin, but quickly send a shaky smile at Patton to show him the gesture was greatly appreciated. Virgil felt oddly safe with his new friend. He was glad when Patton didn't pull away.

 

    Logan caught up with the others and pushed open the door to Mr. Sanders classroom. In the far corner, near the library, Logan had set up two different rows of desks facing each other, with a seat for each expected student. What he did not expect however, was to see somebody already sitting down. And at the spot Logan had chosen for himself no less! Their feet were kicked back and rested on the desk. They had an olive complexion, an easy going smile, and their hands were folded behind their head nonchalantly as they scrolled through their phone and talked to the teacher at the same time.

 

     It threw Logan completely off balance. His plan was now ruined by this one smug looking student who had his feet kicked back like he owned the place! He didn't! Logan did! This was his club!

 

    Glowering, Logan stormed inside, leaving Patton and Virgil in the dust. He had to fight to contain his anger as he stalked up Mr. Sanders, who was having an animated conversation with the boy.

 

     “Who is he?!” Logan snapped at the teacher, pointing at kid he refused to even look at. Anger coursed through his veins. Logan had been planning the first club meeting for about six months, ever since the school board had first approved of it! And this… this distraction was ruining everything!

 

   Thomas Sanders jumped, a little frightened at first. But he was use to Logans mannerisms and his lack of social skills by now. Heck, the kid had really grown on him. Having him in his ap chemistry class had been a dream last year. “Hey, Logan, buddy, why don't we talk outside?” he said quickly, furrowing his brows and lowering his voice in such a way that told the student he didn't have a choice.

 

    “Fine.” Logan huffed and crossed his arms, glaring at the ground as he was lead from the room like a toddler who had just thrown a fit.

    Virgil watched him go with a wince of second hand embarrassment. The door closed behind Logan with a soft _thud_ and Virgil was grateful that Patton was still holding his hand, grounding him to reality.

 

    “Who the hell was that?” the newcomer asked, dropping his feet from the desk to sit up. His dark brown hair fell into his chestnut eyes and Patton looked away.

 

    “Our friend,” he said horsley.

 

“Well, he acts like he runs the place,” The boy quipped, shaking his head and standing up. “Anyways, I'm Roman Tempus.” Patton fought in vain to keep the blush off his cheeks as he let go of Virgil's hands to shake Roman's, unbeknownst to the way Virgil glared at him in return.

 

“Patton Heart.”

 

    “And this gloomy goober is?” Roman smiled over at the new kid, giving him a quick once over, taking in his purple hair and all. 

 

     “Virgil,” Virgil sneered, shoving his hands deep in his pockets and keeping his head down, away from Roman's judgemental eyes and alliterate nicknames.

 

     “Your joining debate club?” Patton asked in awe, unable to help himself. Roman Tempus wasn't popular, far from it, but he had his own little clique. And once you found your place at Pottersville highschool, you didn't leave. You had the same friends and attended the same clubs and that was what decided your place on the social scale. Roman got the leads in all the musicals, and never got picked last in gym. Patton had peanut butter thrown in his hair in tenth grade and he was only ever picked as a joke. 

 

      “Yup!” Roman answered, popping the P. His heart was hammering wildly in his chest and he willed it to stop. Roman wasn't sure why, it just a stupid club! He’d faced much worse foes before.

 

     “Can I ask why?” Virgil spoke up, buried within the depths of his hoodie. He missed the comfort of Patton's warm hand against his. He missed Logan’s constant, reassuring, presents and couldn't help but wonder where he was. "You don't seem the type to like  intellectually stimulating arguments." Virgil already didn't trust this Roman character.

 

    “Hey Robert Downer Jr!” Roman smirked at his own comment. “I'll have you know I am very smart. Smart enough to know that your makeup is totally washing you out right now.” Yup. Virgil definitely didn't like Roman.

 

    “Why did you join?” Patton asked, quick to pick up the slack. He sent Virgil a small, guilty, smile before he continued to fan over Roman. Virgil cringed at the pity from Patton that was sent his way. He hated it. Hated being pitied.

 

    Roman grinned, flourishing under all the new attention. “Ya know," He shrugged. “Looks good to college's, and I like to argue, so I thought why not become the president.”

 

     Pattons smile quickly fell. “Oh…” he muttered, afraid of letting down one of the more popular kids in school. “Well, Logans kinda like the club president!”

 

    “Logan?” Roman laughed. “Whose that?”

“The kid who just got hauled away-because of your dumbass!” Virgil spat, daring to look up at the taller boy.

 

   Roman raised an eye. “Hey calm down there Brad Pitt-iful. I didn't get him kicked out. He got himself kicked out.”

 

    “Hey now kiddos!” Patton said quickly, jumping in the middle of them. “Let's all play nice okay?” Right as Roman opened his mouth to answer, the door swung open revealing a slightly pissed off Logan and a tired, yet accomplished looking Mr. Sanders.

 

“Shall we continue?” The teacher asked with a smile and Patton let out a whoop of excitement. He couldn't wait to see what Logan had planned. 

 

    As they all headed towards the set up in the corner. Logan couldn't help but glare at the strange boy. They all sat down, (with the stranger in his seat (his seat!)) .Logan and Virgil were on one side and Patton and Roman were on the other. The four boys turned their attention to Mr. Sanders who stood in the middle, akin to some type of moderator.

 

     “Should we start with introductions first then?” Mr. Sanders asked, turning to Logan, giving him his cue. However, Logan was rudely interrupted by the _whoosh_ of someone standing up and the boisterous voice of said stranger who kept ticking him off.

 

    “I'm Roman Tempus!” Roman smiled, clasping his hands together in front of him. “I'm a junior, and you might know me from the drama club or the Ultimate Frisbee team, but that's only during the spring! I look great in the uniform though, so you should come check it out." He winked at Patton who quickly averted his gaze  

 

    Mr. Sanders cleared his throat awkwardly fighting to keep his smile wide. “Thank you Roman. Logan you wanna go next?”

 

    “Yes,” Logan glowered, obviously agitated. He didn't stand up or project his voice. He stayed seated as an act of protest and glared at Roman. “I'm Logan Picani, I'm a junior and I'm the P _resident_ of this club,” he spat through his teeth.

 

     “What?!” Roman snapped, jumping up and slamming his hand on the desk, pointing accusatory finger at the boy across from him. Logan couldn't be President. Roman _needed_ this. “Who decided that?! Isn't this a democracy?!”

 

     “He has a point,” Patton quipped, nervously looking between Roman and Logan. He didn't want to pick sides! He just wanted to do what was right!

 

    “But I founded the club!” Logan snapped. “I'm much more qualified then he is!” Logan could feel his anger slipping again as he pointed at Roman. He'd done all the hard work! Why should Roman get the credit for it! 

 

     “Yeah right.” Roman smirked, crossing his arms over his chest protectively. “Three years in drama club counts as qualification!” Roman's heart was pounding and his blood was rushing in his ears. He needed this more then Logan! This was his one act of defiance, something to prove that he was more than just his moms son, more than just the silly shows he put on with the drama club-

 

“Falsehood!” Logan struggled to keep his voice even. “I'm in the chess club, student senate and now debate club! Plus I've worked my a-!”

 

    “We can have a election!” Mr. Sanders spoke up quickly, sensing the tension in the air and affectively cutting Logan off before it escalated into something more.

 

“Yes!” Logan all but screamed. Hastily he took a deep breath to calm himself down while adjusting his glasses. Roman had ruined his whole plan. The only actual debate they'd done so far was over who got to be the President, and even then neither Patton or Virgil had said a word. “That seems fair.”

 

    “For once we agree,” Roman muttered, uncrossing his arms and sighing heavily. He knew this was gonna be a tough race, but he _needed_ this. Not only for college, but to prove to his everyone that he was more than just his mothers son. That he was smart too. That he could make something of himself.

 

    “I don't even think I'm registered to vote!” Patton squealed and Thomas laughed.

 

    “Well, it’ll be more like a game then anything else. Who votes for Roman?” Roman's hand shot up and he smiled widely at everyone, raising his eyebrows in a silent question. No one else rose their hands however, and Roman's smile threatened to slip. He could feel his confidence waning. Patton’s grimace of pity didn't help his self esteem.

 

    “Um, alright what about Logan?” Mr. Sanders asked, with compassion towards Roman in his voice. He felt bad for the kid, he really did, but he also knew Logan deserved the win. It was only fair, after all he had gone through to put the club together.

 

    Three hands were raised with varying degrees of assurance. Logan had won.

 

   Roman deflated in his chair but quickly turned his frown upside down. There was no use in fretting over why these people didn't like him. He barely even knew them. He shouldn't have cared what they thought. But the whoop of congratulations from Patton as he stood up to hug the new President made a Roman's gut clench, proving that he still craved the validation after all. 

 

    Logan squirmed in Patton's hug, unable to keep the smile from his face. “Yes, thank you,” he mumbled into the fabric of his friends blue shirt. “It is just a school election however. I am not the President of, say, the country.”

 

   “Not yet at least!” Patton giggled, letting go, as Virgil awakwardly held out a hand for Logan to high-five. 

 

    “Yes I have roughly twenty years-” Logan was cut off as Roman stood to congratulate him, all while wishing it was himself getting the praise. That hug from Patton looked awfully warm... “I'll get you next time, nerd.” he muttered, shaking hands with Logan.

 

    Pushing up his glasses, Logan grinned. “You were an admirable opponent. I look forward to going against you again in the near future.”

 

   Roman couldn't help but smirk. “I won't go so easy on you next time, specs,” he joked. Logan however, was still as serious as ever, his lips taunt and eyes staring straight forward.

“I expect nothing less.”

 

    Thomas Sanders couldn't help the warm feeling that spread through his chest as he watched the newly formed club in all his glory. Logan receive a hesitant fist bump from Virgil and Roman flirted with a rather bashful Patton. He had a suspicion that with students this great, the school year would be equally as amazing.


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a certain theater geek joins the lunch squad.  
> tw - slight panic, self depreciating thoughts, but really it's not that bad!

    Logan found his familiar lunch table and took a seat, opening his lunch box and pulling out the same thing he’d eaten for years, a jelly sandwich on toasted white bread.

 

    Logan liked routine. He’d sat at the same lunch table for the past three years and wore the same brand of glasses for six (a stylish pair of warby parkers). He woke up at the same time and wore the same brand of shoes and liked to reread his faviorte book when things got stressful. Rarely did he let anything disturb the patterns he had created for himself. They were comfortable and recognizable. Shaking things up was not only annoying but led to an unsettling amount of discomfort. Besides he liked things the way they were. Change was too unpredictable.

 

     As Virgil approached the table Logan gave him a small smile. “Good afternoon,” he said smoothly.

 

   “Yo,” Virgil muttered, slinking into his newly designated seat. Ah yes, then there was Virgil and Patton, a hiccup in Logan's normally mundane ruintune. Patton and Virgil fed off empathy and  sentiment. They were two emotionally charged meteors that crash landed into Logans life, causing a gaping hole of mass destruction. Still, Logan couldn't find it in himself to say no to them and their company. It was pleasant to have someone else around.

 

       The first time Logan had meet Patton was freshman year, when they both decided that they had been alone for far too long. By now, Patton's unpredictable feelings could be anticipated and somewhat tolerated. All it took was a quick cat video from YouTube and Logan found that he was able to quickly calm Patton down. And while those emotions could be a nuisance to Logan, it was better to sit with someone upset then sit by himself. Sometimes Logan would even attempt to figure out what was wrong with his friend, like a jigsaw puzzle with just one too many missing pieces making it impossible to ever be finished, but not impossible to be deciphered.

 

      _“I'm fine,” Patton had said on a cold winter's day in the middle of sophomore year. But Logan had been able to tell by the bags under his eyes and how he picked at his skin, that he was in fact, not fine. It been like that all week, the tentative questions from Logan, the answers doged from Patton and then the heavy silence that weight like snowfall from a bad storm._

 

 _“Did you receive the optimal amount of sleep last night?” Logan had asked, less out of Patton's habit for small talk and more in genuine concern. Logan was_ worried _. It was a new feeling. Something he was unaccustomed to and it weighed heavily in his chest._

 

_Patton smirked. “When have I ever sleept enough?” he joked and Logan had furrowed his brows with distress. Patton was deflecting questions again._

 

_“Have you been drinking enough water? Consuming enough fruits and vegetables?” Logan had continued, determined to resolve whatever was plaguing his only friend._

 

_“Really Lo, I'm fine,” Patton had muttered, and  pulled his cardigan tighter around his chest. “It's nothing.” There was a beat of silence, in which Logan urged Patton to open up to him, to tell him what was really bothering him, but Patton had stayed quiet and resilient as ever._

 

_“I might not be good at… feelings,” Logan had started, ignoring the guilty grimace Patton made as he realized he had possibly made his only friend uncomfortable. “But you can trust me. I've been told… it's comforting when someone sits and listens to others dilemmas as a form of coping.”_

 

 _Patton had smiled faintly, perhaps the first time that week, and nodded, finally,_ **_finally_ ** _opening up. “Well… it's just family stuff...”_

 

“Yesterday was something,” Virgil mumbled with a mouthful of chips, pulling Logan from his thoughts. He had something to ask the older boy, once Patton finished buying his lunch. His heart was pounding at just the idea of vocalizing his thoughts and he ran his sweaty palms across his black jeans.

 

    Logan pursed his lips.  “It was satisfactory,” he mused. The debate club yesterday might not have gone as he had planned, but he still remained president and that was all that mattered. “I'm eager to start working on real debates. Real issues. Global warming, gun control, black lives matter.”

 

    Virgil noticed a gleam to Logans dark eyes as he gushed, his hands moving fevertly. “I bet you are,” he grumbled, a fond smile on his face. It had only been a couple weeks, but he was already quite sure Logan was the nerdiest kid he had ever met.

 

      "There is just the matter of Roman," Logan muttered and speak of the devil, Patton sauntered up to the lunch table side by side with none other than Roman Tempus.

 

    Roman looked smug, carrying Patton's lunch tray for him with all his brazen glory, chest puffed out and lips set in a wide grin. He set it down on the table with a _click_ and a wide grin.

 

    Logan lowered his glasses, as if his eyes were deceiving him and Virgil fought the urge to say _mood._ However, Patton was bouncing on the a balls of his feet, excited as ever, as he sat in his regular seat next to Virgil. Roman moved to sit on his other side, shoving Virgil towards the far end of the table so that he barely had enough room to squish himself on the bench.

 

    “Why are you sitting with us?” Logan deadpanned, never one to beat around the bush, as he pushed his glasses back up his nose. Roman just shrugged. An aura of self confidence seemed to litterally radiate off him as he pulled his own lunch box from his bag.

 

     “Good to see you again too, Microsoft Nerd,” he replied smoothly. Roman had known this would be a bad idea. He knew the Emo-Nightmare and Geek-Squad didn't like him. But Patton had been so persistent when he saw him shoved to one side of the designated ‘drama club’ table, picking at his food and barely making conversation with anyone.

 

     “Now be nice!” Patton chided, smiling comfortingly at Roman. “I invited him to sit here today!”

 

    Virgil couldn't help but wonder why. Yesterday he had threatened to steal the Presidency right from under Logan’s nose, and had even talked badly about him behind his back. Sulking to himself, Virgil turned up the hood of his sweatshirt. His question would have to wait. He didn't trust Roman Tempus as far as he could throw him (and Virgil could barely pick up his little sister) but if Patton wanted him around, he’d deal with him _and_ his annoying attitude.

 

     “Yeah!” Roman sang. “Besides, you'll be seeing a lot more of me in debate club! Might as well get used to this handsome face!” He raised his eyebrows and struck a pose, hoping for laughter. Patton only managed to giggle and Logan remained as straight faced as ever as he pushed up his glasses.

 

    This was the type of change that made Logan uncomfortable. The loud, in your face, change that he couldn't figure out and put back to normal. Roman didn't seem to have anything that made him tick, anything that made him nervous or made him _human_. Roman was something Logan could figure out, like a rubix cube without the correct number of colored squares. 

 

     “Roman does musical’s you know!” Patton spoke up, stabbing at some green beans with his fork unceremoniously. He just genuinely wanted everyone to get along. Couldn't the others see Roman was trying? 

 

    “I never understood the pleasantries of theatrical performances They always seemed so… extra,” Logan commented.

   Patton turned to Roman, rubbing at the soft texture of his sweater nervously. He knew that Logan had not meant to offend, that he offered his opinion no matter who was around and struggled to see how anyone could be hurt by what he said or though. But it didnt matter. Roman, had heard and it was too late to try and explain now.

 

    Virgil sunk into his hoodie as he prepared for the scolding of his lifetime from Patton. Guilt bloomed in his chest at the way he had treated Roman. Sure, he hadn't been out right _mean_ but his thoughts weren't all that nice… Besides Patton was right, their useless bickering was going to get them nowhere. 

 

     But before the Patton could even as much as open his mouth to defend his new friend, Roman was standing up for himself. “There's nothing better than the relative power of live theater!” Roman bosted. This was his element, gushing about his love for performance to anyone who would listen. “There's a whole world built from scratch, from the scenery of the lion king to the harmonies of Wicked, it is its own form of story telling! So different is it from litteture and movies! Theater is the most unique experience you will ever have!”

 

    “But what is there to take away?” Logan asked, genuinely curious.

 

     Roman's lips quirked up and he leaned across the table, as close to Logan as he could get. “It's just like all those books you read Specs,” he started, voice low and quiet. But that was only part of the lure. Draw them in, be dramatic and over the top, it was what Roman was good at. It was how he got his way. It was how he made friends. “Theater brings me to a different world, let's me be a different person, experience a different life and I love it.”

 

    Logan looked flustered. Roman’s nose was still a solid foot away from his face due to the table between them, but the sincerity in the younger boys voice had caught Logan off guard. His brown eyes were glinting mischievously but his gaze was still serious and somber.

 

     “What play might you recommend then?” Logan swallowed, choosing his words carefully. Patton had always shown an interest in his hobbies. Perhaps it was time Logan repaid the favor in the form of Roman. It wasn't that he was genuinely curious. No! Of course not! It was just the admirable thing to do. Besides his brother was always on him about connecting more with people.

 

“Oh, Spec’s, do I have the list for you.”

 

     As the dispute slowly turned friendly, Virgil gently pulled on Patton’s soft, grey cardigan, getting his attention.  “Hey uuh…” he muttered, dragging Patton away from the argument. His gut was clenched painfully and a cold sweat had broken out on his brow. His friend turned to him, his smile melting into a worried frown and Virgil only hunched over in his hoodie, wishing he didn't cause the people he cared for so much strain.

 

    “Yeah Virge?” Patton asked softly, seeing anxiety etched clear and plain in his features. Virgil's hands were clenched into fists at his sides as if he would have to fight off danger at any second. Patton almost took those hands in his own, but Virgil already looked so spooked.

 

    “Um...I uh, was wondering…”

 

“I can't believe you've never read that one!” Roman roared, suddenly cutting Virgil off, making the blood drain from his face as he flinched. His breath hitched in stupid, irrational fear. Virgil couldn't help but scolded himself for being afraid of such a trivial thing. Roman couldn't hurt him, at least, not with the volume of his voice he couldn't.

 

     “It's alright kiddo,” Patton pressed as he set down his strawberry milk and Virgil bit his lip. He knew he just had to rip it off, like a bandaid.

 

    “Do you wanna hang out?!” he asked, but he said it so quickly the words scrambled together making real life alphabet soup and it sounded more like “dooownnhagot!”

 

    “Woah slow down there kiddo!” Patton laughed and Roman perked up.  “You're talking faster than a dog running after a fire truck,” he joked softly.

 

   “R-right sorry,” Virgil muttered. “It's uh, it's stupid that I'm so nervous.” He laughed, feeling tense and restless. “Do you wanna hang out? Like outside of school maybe?” The idea terrified Virgil. He liked the sacredity that Pottersville High School’s walls provided. Take his new friendships with Logan and Patton anywhere else, and Virgil knew it could all come to a brutal, ruthless halt. But he wanted this. Virgil couldn't help but be selfish. He wanted to hang out with his friends outside of school and joke around and go to movies and have sleepovers and hang out at the mall. It human. It was natural. It was _normal_.

 

      Patton's face lit up like a Christmas Tree. His blue eyes widened behind his wiry glasses and he had to fight the urge to throw himself at Virgil, taking a second to swallow the lump in his throat. Virgil wanted to hang out with him! Outside of school! The notion may have seemed silly and mundane do an outsider but to Patton it was everything. He had a friend! A friend who wanted to spend time with him and do what real friends do! 

 

    “I’d love to Jack Smelling-ton!” Roman spoke up, interrupting Patton’s thoughts. Virgil just blinked. “I know this great dinner downtown we could check out.”

 

      “Breakfast for dinner is commendable.” Logan commented. “I will come as well.” Apparently Roman and Logan’s conversation had stopped, unbeknownst to Virgil and they had started paying attention to the anxious boy.

 

     “I’d love to, Virge!” Patton sang and threw his arms around Virgil in a hug, unable to help himself. Virgil was reeling for a solid two seconds, his head spinning with shock from the sudden hug, before he was leaning into the gentle embrace. Some of the tension escaped his shoulders as he breathed in Patton's faint scent of vanilla, mildew and a hint of cafeteria food.

 

     Virgil was basking in a bliss that was his new friends minus one drama nerd he didn't particularly like. Perhaps things would actually work out. Perhaps they wouldn't turn into the raging hellfire they always seemed to. At least, he hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I'm honestly surprised I got this out in time, I've been so busy lately. whoops!
> 
> again a huge thank you to princelogical on tumblr for beta reading this chapter!
> 
> find me - radioactivehelena (tumblr) radioactive.pj (Instagram)


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bois go to a diner. Chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw - mentions of past child abuse, mentions of being an orphan

     Roman arrived at the diner a whole ten minutes early, his hips swaying to the tune playing through a jukebox on the back wall. There was a chime of bell above him as he opened the door and he smiled politely at a waiter, about to grab a table when he noticed Patton already sitting down, looking disheveled and fervently gulping at his water.

 

   “Hey Roman! Over here!” the teen called, waving his hands and getting the taller male’s attention. His cheeks were red with flush and he was quivering, but Roman ignored it as he slid into the booth opposite his friend. 

 

    “How you doing Pat?” he asked casually with a practiced grin but jos heart was pounding wildly. Roman was _nervous_. Especially after there last two meetings with Virgil and Logan hadn't gone as well he had hoped. He needed this debate team to work out more then either of them could know.

 

“Good!” Patton replied, taking another greedy sip of his water. He let the cool drink slide down his throat as he fought to get his stuttering heart under control. His limbs ached and his cheek still stung but now was not the time to be selfish and indulge in his own issues. The others would be here soon and they could all have fun! Maybe pick song on the jukebox or share some fries. 

 

    “You sure?” Roman asked. He didn't want to pry, but Patton didn't look too great. He looked like he’d just run a marathon, his tight, restricted breathing  slowly evening out. His hair was desheviled and he kept pulling at his blue pullover, as if he wanted it to swallow him whole.

 

    “I'm sure kiddo!” Patton smiled easily. “Just the muggy weather!” It was a steady sixty seven degrees outside in Pottersville. The temperature was slowly starting to turn the town into the perfect autumn and even Roman had needed to grab his bright red bomber jacket on the way out of the house. It wasn't as hot as Patton made it out to be. The teen was definitely lying.

 

     With a shrug, Roman decided not to push it. “Heard from the others yet?” he asked.  

“Logan’s on his way and Virgil asked me for the address three minutes ago!”

 

“Have you known them for long?” Roman asked, not quite sure what else to say. He needed to fill the silence. Roman hated the quiet, hated how badly he needed mindless chatter and constant talking. It seemed to be the right thing to say though, as Patton brightened, before a hazy look of nostalgia glazed over his brilliantly blue eyes and his smile softened.

 

     “Only Logan,” he started, voice quiet and tame. “Don't get me wrong though! I still love Virgil very much-my dark strange son-but yeah. I've known Logan for a while.”

 

  “Oh.” Roman nodded. “Well, tell me about him! What you love, what you hate?” Roman knew that asking questions was good. It got people to like you. Individuals always tended to like to talk about themselves and Patton seemed to be no exception.

 

     Besides, the look on the smaller boy's face when he thought of his friend was one of a newly bloomed flower, vulnerable and delicate. Roman never wanted to see it go away. It was a different kind of smile from the one Patton so often wore. It was kinder. It was real.

   “Okay!” Patton giggled, excited that Roman wanted him to go on. He was normally the one asking all the questions, not the other way around! “I know he can be… a bit much sometimes with his big words and stuff.”

 

“Ya got that right,” Roman commented, pretending to straighten a nonexistent tie and push up his glass. Patton made a face, but his grin was still wide, as ever.  

 

    “But he was my first real friend!” Patton cried, voice laced with melancholy and content. “I dunno, he's really not that bad! He's pretty amazing if you get to know him. And he's so smart!”

“And handsome.” Roman wiggled his eyebrows and Patton’s eyes widened, a crimson blush exploding across his cheeks.

 

     “Shh, shh, he could be here any minute!” Patton whispered, shoving his hands towards Roman fervently as if that would shut him up, his heart racing with newly found panic. “But yeah, a little.” Shyly, Patton wrapped his hands around his glass of water and looked up at Roman through his long lashes.

    “His jawline!” Roman exclaimed loudly, throwing up his hands, before slumping back in his chair as if broken up over the dreamy nerdy.

 

“And he's so patient! He-he-he actually takes the time to explain things when I don't get them!”

 

“What a catch!” Roman declared and threw his hand over his forehead lazily, making them both giggle.

 

“And he can be so passionate when he wants to! Have you heard him talk about robotics?!”

 

“I'll have to ask him,” Roman commented with a barely suppressed smile, clearly enjoying egging his friend on.

 

    “Plus he's really sweet when he wants to be, and… wait…” Patton started, quirking his head to the side, confused, “How?... How did you know?”

 

    Roman breathed a giggle through his nose and gently reached for Patton's hand across the table. “Remember the election?” He started, marveling at how small the other teens hand was compared to his. Patton nodded. “When he won, you got _so_ happy. You gave him the _biggest_ hug. But the second he was uncomfortable you backed off. That's how I knew.”

 

      “Oh,” Patton mumbled, a hot red blushing crawling up his cheeks.

 

“Yeah.” Roman laughed, gently squeezing the soft hand engulfed in his. “But it's not that big of a deal! Hell, have you seen Nate recently?”

 

“Nate Dally?”

 

“God, I wish he would sit on me!! And his eyes! Just, leave me Patton I can't go on!” Roman cried, desperately grabbing onto Patton's hand as the smaller boy was reduced to a pile of giggles.

 

    A waitress came up to them then, obviously trying to get Roman to shut up so that the other costumers could eat in peace. She had an air of _I hate my job, please help_ and smiled politely. “What can I get you two?” she asked.

 

    Patton's own grin disappeared and he pulled his hand away from Roman's as he looked at the menu in front of him. Numbly heard Roman order a strawberry milkshake, a cheeseburger and a side of fries. That sounded _so_ good.  “Just water is fine,” he muttered.

 

   Roman gawked. “There must be something you want?!” he asked. And there was. But Patton was too broke to buy it for himself so instead he just smiled widely.

 

    “I'm good, seriously.”

 

“Not even a shake?” Roman asked as Patton shook his head. The waitress purses her lips in remorse, but said nothing.

 

“I'll pay!”

 

“Really Roman it's no big deal!” Patton rushed to say, but he was still flushed, shaky, a little pathetic looking and incredibly broke. Roman could tell he _needed_ something to eat. And if it came in the form of ice creamy goodness then so be it.

 

“Let me do this!” Roman pushed, his eyes alight with mischief. “To repay you for your kindness.”

 

“Oh but that was only-!”

 

    “What flavor?” The waitress asked, clearly annoyed, but there was an undertone of amusement to her voice. Patton blinked. “C'mon, what flavor? He's obviously not gonna say no!”

 

    “Vanilla,” Patton muttered shyly, watching her scribble it down with a small smile as she winked and walked away. “Thank you-” Patton started to say, his voice small and timid. He felt awfully humiliated that he couldn't even pay for his own food but Roman just cut him off.

 

    “Don't mention it. I'm just offended you choose vanilla over something as exciting as mint chip!” Roman quipped, trying to get Patton to relax.

 

    “Ewww but all the chucks!” Patton cried, making a face as he slowly started to soften back up. Roman smirked softly, it really was no big deal, he had more money then he could barely spend on himself.  

 

    As the clock struck twelve thirty, there came a familiar “Hello Patton. Hello Roman.” And Logan was sliding into the booth with the latter.

 

    “Good morning Logan!” Patton sang, his heart soaring at the sight of his favorite nerd.

“It is the afternoon,” Logan simply stated, straightened his blue tie against his dark polo shirt.

 

“Hey now Pocket Protector,” Roman commented, with an air of authority. “Play nice.”

 

    “Do not tell me what to do,” Logan flushed, not use to the scrutiny. But he was thankful for it, despite his crass response. His brother had been telling him to be more careful about others feelings. “You're efforts are appreciated Patton.”

 

    “Thanks!” Patton sang kicking his feet back and forth under the table.

“What's with the tie?” Roman asked, leaning his head against his hand in order to get a better view of the nerd in question. His brown eyes flicked up and met Logan's for half a second before the older boy was looking away again and Roman's stomach was swirling uncomfortably.

 

     “Seriously people wear neckties,” Logan replied smoothly.

“Is this a serious occasion?” Patton asked, furrowing his brows together in confusion. Logan’s ties were normally saved for special causes. The first day of school, his birthday, a field trip. Back in ninth grade he use to wear them all the time, but by sophomore year he had knocked it down to more of a causal thing.

 

    “I’d believe so,” Logan commented with a small smile and a faint blush. He didn't say anything else on the matter despite his fondness for talking and the waitress strolled up with two milkshakes.  

 

    “Hell yeah!” Roman pumped his fist once the waitress took Logan's order and was safe distance away. He started sucking down the sugary goodness like it was the last milk shake in the world. 

 

“She gave me two straws by accident!” Patton giggled as he gently picked the cherry off his shake.

 

     “Or on purpose,” Roman muttered under his breath with a raised brow. Logan choked. The older boy struggled to catch his breath, while Patton jumped up, arms thrown out like he wanted to help, but not sure how.

“Oh my god are you okay?!”

 

“I-I'm fine!”

 

“No you're not! You need the hemlock!”

 

“Do you perhaps" Logan had to take a moment to cough "mean the Heimlich maneuver" he struggled to take a stuttering breath in through his nose "Patton?”

 

“No! I mean the anti choke holdy thingy!” Patton cried, starting to jump up and down in panic as Logan waved him away. The waitress quickly disappeared into the back room, looking incredibly pissed off but amused. She didn't get paid enough for this. 

 

     Roman looked out the window to appear inconspicuous, a wide smile plastered on his face. He was innocent, completly and utterly innocent. Outside the window he spotted a flustered looking Virgil climbing out of a old, tattered convertible. The teenager slammed the car door shut, causally flipping off the driver and Roman quickly averted his eyes.

 

     He glared at the emo nightmare as he walked in the restaurant shocked by the tantrum Virgil had just thrown. What a brat! How dare he flip off his Dad like that! Roman hadn't been fond of the kid since the moment he called him out in debate club but now his distrust had only grown.

 

    “Sorry I’m late!” Virgil cried as as the bell above the diner door chimed. He smoothly slid into the seat next Patton, looking rattled. His eye makeup was smudged and his normally messy hair was an even more chaotic disarray of knots and curls as if he’d been pulling at it. Roman glared at him over his milkshake, keeping watch of the way Virgil hunched over in his seat and shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets. 

 

    “It's alright kiddo!” Patton smiled gently. “Everything okay?”

 

“Just… stupid family stuff,” Virgil mumbled, wilting under Patton's watchful eyes. He hated lying to those baby blue eyes. He hated lying in general. It made his gut twist uncomfortably and his heart pound in his chest.

 

“Tell me about it,” Patton said ironically with a soft grimace. He could still feel the way his cheek stung and the ache in his limbs hadn't gone away. 

 

    “Um, do you actually think you could give me a ride home?” Virgil asked, lowering his voice an octave. He felt bad for asking, and his leg was shaking under the table, but Virgil had already substantially pissed off his ride. He doubted his foster brother would even show up again if he asked.

 

    Pattons gut clenched. “I uh… I don't think I can…” he muttered, drumming his fingers against the table, hot, filthy shame flooding his system. He felt bad but he also doubted Virgil wanted to walk all the way home…

 

    Virgil looked up at Logan then with flaming red cheeks. He couldn't help but feel humiliated that his own family wouldn't even give him a damn lift. Logan adjusted his glasses awkwardly but wouldn't quite make eye contact. “I can ask…” he frowned. “However I am volentering at the library straight after here.”

 

    With a low sigh through his nose, Roman decided to speak up then and spare the angsty teen. “You can come with me, charlie frown.” He shrugged. “I have my license.”

 

     “Ooooh!” Patton cooed before Virgil could even mutter a strained thank you. “How did you manage that?!” All Virgil could think about was how awkward the drive would be, how Roman would probably kill him, and how everyone would think that Virgil had done it himself.

 

    Roman was thinking the same thing. Why? Why had he offered? He didn't even like the pitiful pain in his ass. Driving with him, in a contained area, for however long he had to, was surely going to suck royal ass. Oh well, at least he could use the time to maybe threaten him. Ask about what happened with his dad and demand that he treat Patton and Logan with respect. Taking a sip from his shake, Roman watched the younger boy stifle a laugh at a joke Patton had said. Yup, he was definitely hiding something. And Roman needed to know what. To protect his new friends off course, for no other reasons.

 

    The food arrived in a flurry of grease and fried empty calories. Patton continued to suck down his milk shake, occasionally stealing fries off his friends plates with a cheeky grin.

 

    “So,” Roman started, after a rather big bite of his cheeseburger, addressing the anxious boy sat across from him. “Where did you say you were from again?” He swallowed his food and it went down hard. "Like, before you moved here." 

 

    Virgil swallowed a half eaten bite of his pancake feeling it stick to his throat. His leg starting to bounce under the table again. “All over,” he muttered. And truly, he was. Virgil had moved from state to state with his parents. Their jobs were constantly changing and besides, his family liked to settle in somewhere new, find a kid that needed a place to stay, adopt them, then inevitably move again.

 

    “But like, where?” Roman pried pointing an accusatory fry at the teen who recoiled against the plush cushioning of the booth.

 

“Yes, even I am interested, as we do not know.” Logan mumbled taking a sip of his soda.

 

     Virgil cringed. How was he supposed to explain that he’d lived in about a quarter of the fifty states picking up random children? How did he explain that before he was adopted that his birth parents had been cruel and unkind? It didn't really make for great small talk. _Oh ya know my birth parents use to forget to feed me and never once gave me a hug and now I have chronic anxiety because of it._ Yeah, totally not the time or place. Besides it probably seemed like such a non-issues to them, to Logan, or Patton, or Roman, who was still glaring at him like he was hiding something. So he was adopted. So what? He should be happy that part of his life is all over now, that things are better.

    But the past made up a large part of Virgil's insecurities. To Virgil it felt like something he needed to hide, something he had to be ashamed of. If he admitted it, admitted to his truma's, everyone would  pity him. He would be the sad orphaned kid who everyone would frown at and shaky their head and say 'poor boy, deserved so much more.' 

      “Ya know, like Florida.” He grimaced with a half lie. He had been there. On a vacation. So it counted right?

 

     “Florida!” Patton smiled. “Did you get to visit Disney World?!”

 

“Yeah.” Virgil shrugged. He dimly remembered the trip. He had been about thirteen years old at the time. Virgil still had a photo of himself in front of the castle, hand me downs hanging around his slime frame, hugging a plush stitch. It had been right after his parents-his real parents, his _good_ parents-had ask him if they could adopt him. That after fostering him for several months, they couldnt picture their lives without him. Virgil said yes. Of course he said yes. 

 

     “I use to have such a crush on Dipper Pines,” Patton commented off handedly, sighing. Virgil quickly covered his mouth as he giggled, casting a glance at Logan. Roman rose an eyebrow, suspiciously intrigued. 

 

“No way dude!” Roman he finally cried. “I use to be totally in love with Mable!” Virgil snorted again, burrowing himself in his sweatshirt. Couldn't they see! Logan was totally comparable to Dipper, and Patton was the embodiment of Mable!

 

     “What's so funny Gravity Freight?” Roman snapped, crossing his arms and Virgil winced.

 

     “Nothing just-”

 

“I'm afraid I have to departe soon,” Logan mumbled. Patton frowned. Time had started winding down, evident to the way Logan kept fervently checking his watch, but the smaller boy choose to try and ignore it. It was all Patton could do to just sit by and stare as it all come to a close. He didn't wanna go! He watched Virgil flick a rather lofty crumb at Logan, who glared and started preparing his own amo.

 

    It had only been a couple of weeks but Patton already wanted to take the lovely, wonderful, caring and kind people in front of him into his delicate embrace and take them home with him. He wanted to thank Logan, care for Virgil and protect Roman. With a sudden ache Patton realized how much affection he held for the others. It clenched around his heart and he had to look away, running his hands across the fabric of his shirt as a distraction. 

 

    “Really-” Logan tried again with a tight lipped smile. “My parents will be waiting outside.” He moved towards the end of the booth, a hand hovering over his wallet when suddenly there were strong arms wrapped around his midsection, holding him there. “Hey!”

 

     “Nice try but you're our prisoner now,” Roman joked with a deep laugh. Logan could feel the chuckle vibrating against his chest as he wiggled in the tight but surprisingly gentle grip.

 

“Yeah, feed him to the sharks!” Virgil jeered, his eyes alight with teasing.

 

“No, no, no, smuggle him with cuddles!” Patton cried, smiling so wide it hurt.

 

    Logan squirmed, but felt his lips turn up and his cheeks flush pink. “This is highly uncalled for,” he said, relishing in the almost-hug Roman was giving him. It was strong, and warm. Secure. It strangely felt safer than other hugs he had received. It wasn't too loose or bony, and he found himself almost enjoy the cosy embrace. Logan kept squirming.

 

    “Alright fine,” Roman whined, letting go to search for his own cash. With the bill paid the tip a substantial amount, they all headed outside to bid each other farewell.

 

     “It was good to see you all outside of school,” Logan muttered, awkwardly rubbing his hand through his hair in order to calm his nervous. Roman chuckled lowly.

 

“It was good to see you too, nerd.”

 

“Anyways, I really must be leaving now.”

 

   “Wait, wait, wait!” Patton beg, pulling out phone from the depths of his jean pockets, stopping Logan from getting into his mother's car. “We gotta take a selfie first! For the memories!”

 

     “I'm down.” Roman smiled, coming to stand next to Patton, causally fixing his hair into a perfectly aranged set of curls.

 

“If it will amuse you.” Logan hummed, softly excusing himself from his mother's presences. He moved next to Roman, straightened his tie and adjusting his glasses.

 

“Guess if I have to.” Virgil pouted with a fake whine, barely holding back a grin.

 

    “Yay!” Patton cheered, opening up the camera app on his phone while Roman admired his plushy cat case. “Everyone c’mere, scooch in-good, good, Virgil a little closer-okay, say puppies!” He snapped the photo to a chorus of responses from Roman Logan and Virgil, enthusiastic, confused and stuttered respectfully.

 

    “It looks great!” He squealed. “Thanks guys.”

 

“Send that to me.” Roman winked, giving Patton a pair of finger guns.

 

     “Again, this has been satisfactory, but I must be on my way,” Logan stated, and he slipped into his mother's car. Virgil watched, waving goodbye as Patton and Roman exchanged numbers.

 

    He started rocking on the heels of his feet then, and shoved his hands into his pockets nervously, taking into account how easy going Patton and Roman were with each other. Why couldn't he act like that, be friendly instead of argumentative and hostile towards other people. He hated the walls he had put up, hated how strongly they held. Virgil wished he could just knock them down. He didn't want to fear getting close to others anymore.

 

    “Well, we best be on our way.” Roman sighed, pulling out his keys and flipping them in the air before expertly catching them in his hands. “You sure you have a ride?”

 

“Yup!” Patton said, forcing a rather harsh smile.

 

   “Bye,” Virgil mumbled, flicking his bangs from his face with a shake of his head.

 

“Bye!” Patton cried, throwing his arms around the taller boy, engulfing him in a warm hug. “See in school!” he muttered into the crook of Virgil's neck, standing on his tiptoes.

 

    “Yeah see you in school.” Virgil laughed, carefully hugging his friend back. He felt small and fragile in the embrace, but still just as cuddly as Virgil had expected. 

 

    “Catch you later pat-ington bear,” Roman cried from the driver side door.

 

    “See-see-see you later!” Patton giggled from the sidewalk, waving at the pair as they drove away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank again to princelogical to beta reading this chapter! seriously you're great! check them out.  
> my tumblr - radioactivehelena


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil have some alone time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw - fighting, swearing, panic attack

    “Want any music, Panic! At the Everywhere?” Roman asked, not even bothering to look at the boy next to him as he smoothly backed out of parking lot.

 

   “How many of those you got?” Virgil snarked back, sinking lower in the passenger's seat, his stomach in twisted in angry knots. He knew this was a bad idea. He knew he should have begged Logan for a ride, or just walked home. He knew Roman hated him, he knew he was just waiting for the perfect moment to drive him off a cliff, damning Virgil to hell for all of eternity. He watched as Patton grew smaller in the rearview mirror and wished he was standing on the sidewalk with him instead of awaiting his doom at the hands of Roman. (Ew how dramatic, Virgil was starting to _sound_ like Roman now and that was even more tragic then his soon to be death). 

 

    “Millions, twenty one pathetic.” Roman smiled, beaming with pride as he flipped on the radio. It started playing a soft, sad love song by some old country singer. Virgil wrinkled his nose. Ew country music. Defiantly not the kinda stuff he excepted Roman to listen to. 

 

     “That one wasn't your best.” Virgil cringed. 

 

“I know. Can you put your address in here?” Virgil did as he was told, taking Roman's phone from him, outwardly grimacing at the Cinderella phone case. That movie _screamed_ Roman Tempus, unrealistic expectations for women, love, and all.

 

    With a sigh, Virgil handed the phone back and relieve washing over him as an egdgy 2000's song started blaring from the speakers. This was more his style. Virgil felt content to just stare out the window at the yellow-orange trees passing by and pick at a loose thread on his ripped skinny jeans but, Roman had other ideas.

 

     “So, you and Patton uh?” the older teen started, an edge of something accusatory in his tone.

 

“Yup.” Virgil shrugged, wary of where this was going. He looked over at Roman as he squirmed in his seat, but the thespian still had his eyes pinned to the road.

 

     “Are you two close?” Roman continued, as Siri spouted directions about turns and milage.

 

“S-sorta,” Virgil stuttered, his leg starting to bounce up and down involuntarily. “As close as you can be in a couple weeks… Why?” Virgil didn't like where this was headed, and he was trying his best to keep his guard up with a straight face and an unwavering voice. Yet he could still a feel cold sweat breaking out on his forehead no matter how hard he tried to stay calm. The need to to protect himself from Roman's scrutiny and to get the more dramatic nerd to leave him and Patton alone, caused Virgil to sink lower in his seat as he continued to look out the window.

 

     "Just wondering,” Roman muttered as he flicked on his turning signal, furrowing his brow. “What about your mom and dad? You guys close?” He risked taking his eyes off the road to squint over at Virgil who looked like he had the wind knocked out of him, shoulders tense.

 

    “Yeah,” Virgil snapped, crossing his arms over his chest protectively, glaring at the ground, trying to slow his unsteady breathing. “Why do you care?!”

 

     “Relax, Dr. Doom and Gloom,” Roman quipped, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in time to the song from the stereo. “It's just small talk.” It wasn't though. Both Roman and Virgil knew so. Roman was interrogating the smaller boy, trying to investigate what Virgil was hiding in order to safeguard Patton’s feelings or some other bullshit. Virgil hadn't quite figured it out yet, but he did know that he wanted it to stop. “Have any siblings?”

 

    Virgil was furious. He glared at the taller boy, arms crossed over his chest which was rising up and down rapidly. Roman had no right to know about him and his foster siblings, let alone the rest of his screwed up life! Hell, he barely knew the boy and so far all he'd done was call him names and ask incredibly personal questions. Virgil  started biting his at fingernail, leg still steadily shaking. “A few,” he muttered, staring out the window trying to appear standoffish.  

 

“You get along with them?” Roman asked nonchalantly as pulled up to stop sign.

 

“I dunno!” Virgil snapped, uncrossing his arms as he pulled himself up and squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. “Can't we just drive in silence?!”

 

    “Why do you hang around Patton anyways?” Roman snarled suddenly, feeling angry and bitter and defensive that Virgil was trying to ignore him. He slammed on the brakes hard, just nearly running a stop sign and the angsty teen blanched, almost flying out of his seat, heart racing. Roman _almost_ felt proud about the way Virgil's hands were splayed across the dashboard,  desperately trying to keep himself safes 

 

    Virgil grit his teeth as his head spun. The thespian contuined to drive despite his near accident. Virgil righted himself in his seat. Did Roman really find him that untrustworthy? That he was so mysterious, so scary, and terrifying to be around that he didn't even want Patton near him. It stung a little to think a stranger thought so little of him. “I-i… you just met Patton! Again why do you care?!” Virgil snapped, his panic slowly rising to a dangerous level. 

 

   “I saw you out there with your dad.” Roman sighed, slowly loosing his steam. “You were… what the hell man?! That was uncool. Logan and Patton deserve better. And you got that whole _edgy, secretive, pretentious, vibe_ going on, it's _creepy._ Like Edgar Allen Poe."

 

     _Oh_ Virgil thought then started laughing. Hysterically. He couldn't help himself as he doubled over, clutching his stomach and wiping away the tears that sprang to his eyes from both the fear and the ridiculousness of it all. “You think…” he gasped between harsh chuckles. “You think that was my dad?!” 

 

    “Mom, Dad, who cares!” Roman spat, furious that Virgil had only managed to latch onto that part of the conversation. “You don't treat your elders that way.”

 

    “Yeah, yeah, okay,” Virgil shook his head in disbelief, voice dripping in sarcasm. “Whatever you say your highness.” He continued to look out the window one hundred percent done with this unbearable car ride. Living in the diner’s trash can would have been preferable to this. Virgil was struggling to keep himself under control, his finger nail already bitten down to a stub. Panic had a vice grip on his heart, squeezing so hard it hurt. Numbly, he ran a hand down his face.

 

    “Hey, don't talk to me like that!” Roman snapped. “Patton deserves someone who’ll respect him!”

 

    “And what are you, his knight in shining armor?!” Virgil snapped, clenching his fists. “God, you know _nothing_ about me.” His breathing was becoming more and more erratic, and he couldn't calm himself down. Virgil hunched over, wrapping his arms around himself, trying to making himself smaller.

 

    “You sound like some freak from a movie, J. D-elightful!” Roman snapped, then he started to intimidate the boy next to him. “Look at me, poor edgy, emo, kid, feel bad, even though all I am is manipulative! Why don't you find someone who cares! Why don't you leave us all the fuck alone with your bad attitude and-”

 

    “Shut up!” Virgil screeched suddenly, covering his ears and digging his nails into his scalp. “Just stop it!” The panic attack was here and loud and _very_ much so present. Surprisingly, Roman stopped talking as he took in the trembling, pitiful form of the boy in his passenger seat. Virgil was gasping for air, his cheeks turning bright red. The boys chest was rising and falling at a scarily rapid rate and his eyes were screwed shut. Roman found a good spot and, carefully pulled over.

 

    “Shit-fuck I'm sorry… look you gotta breathe…” There was a hand on his shoulder, but Virgil roughly shoved it off, pressing into the side of the car door, feeling the handle painfully dig into his skin. Air burned his throat but the sting helped to remind him that not enough oxygen was coming in. His eyes were misty and his whole body felt tense. With a huff, he forced himself to calm down, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. Gradually the ringing in his ears turned into a steady hum and his shaking evened out. Virgil was able to stiffly pull himself out of the ball he had curled into, wiping at his nose. Shame burned heavy and hot on his cheeks.

 

     He had tried _so_ hard not to have a panic attack. And he'd lasted so long too. But it had all been in vain and he ended up embarrassing anyways. On top of that, now Roman had more evidence to prove that Virgil truly was a freak. 

 

     “Please, just take me home?” Virgil begged softly, voice rough and strained, eyes trained on the floor in front of him. He was still trembling, but less so now that the fighting and screaming had stopped. A sad, quiet song was playing gently from the speakers as if ready to lull Virgil to sleep and it didn't help that the anxious boy was already having trouble keeping his eyes awake. !

 

    “Right, of course.” Roman replied, feeling shaken and stupid and blindsided all at once. He wanted to comfort Virgil and pull him into a warm hug but also shake him and yell at the kid for scaring him so. Instead Roman pulled back into the road, a far away look in his eyes as a thought. There was an uncomfortable beat of silence before- “I'm sorry. I didn't know th-”

 

“Just drop it Princey,” Virgil muttered weakly, feeling too drained to try and nurse Roman's ego. So the fanciful teen snapped his mouth shut and kept his eyes on the road.

 

     The rest of the car ride was silent save for the music coming from the car radio and the erratic, hiccupy breath from Virgil every now and then. Roman felt hot, angry, guilt swirl in his stomach. He felt remorse for the panic attack he had caused... But he also still stood by what he had said. Confused and ashamed, he decided to simply drive the smaller boy home and dwell in silence, forgetting his investigation for now. Besides, Virgil was right. He had only just met Patton. Whatever strong feelings he felt towards the smaller teen was no excuse for how he had acted, correct motivations or not.

 

     “Almost there,” Roman muttered sheepishly. Virgil nodded and straightened himself out, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his black hoodie.

 

“Thanks,” he sighed, taking a deep breath. “And uh, sorry for...yeah.”

     “It's no problem,” Roman replied, not sure if he was talking about the argument or the panic attack or just about the ride in general. He pulled into Virgil's driveway and put the car in park. “See you in school?” Roman asked, unsure of how to end such an unpleasant ride.

 

    “Yeah see you in school.” Virgil muttered half heartedly, unclipping his seat belt as he slipped outside the car. Roman watched him wave to a plump looking women on the porch, who was bouncing a teething toddler on her lap. The thespian also noticed the toys strewn out across the lawn, and the driveway covered in a rainbow of chalk. While the grass was green and neatly trimmed, it looked like no one had picked up the toys in months. 

 

    Roman countined to wait until Virgil got inside when a sudden a blur of yellow ran from the front door, sprinted across the lawn and threw themselves at the angsty teen, causing him to stumble backwards with a laugh.

 

    “Virgil!” The young girl cried, all but attacking the anxious teen with a hug. She was barely as tall as Virgil's hip though, so while the sentiment was cute, it looked rather awkaward. Roman figured the child was Virgil's younger sister, and continued to watch, intrigued. He applied the brakes, but definitely not because he was curious, no. Definitely not.

 

    “Hey Nessy,” Virgil laughed tiredly, combing his nimble fingers through her bright red hair. “How was your day?”

 

    “Good!” she squealed, showing off her hands covered in dirt and paint. “I had art in school today and we made slime! Third grade still sucks though.” She made a face, wrinkling her tiny nose, causing her big round glasses to slip ever so slightly.

 

“I can see,” Virgil chuckled, bobbing her nose, and reducing her to a puddle of giggles.

 

     “Hey, hey, hey,” Nessy squealed, tugging on Virgil's sweatshirt, squirming  excitedably. “Who's that?!” She pointed a chubby finger at Roman, who turned a bright crimson. He quickly looked away, pretending he hadn't been eavesdropping.

 

“Just some boy,” Virgil muttered, his voice going low, taking her sisters hand in his. “He’s leaving now. C'mon let's go inside.”

 

     “Not so fast,” Virgil's mom said, standing up and heading towards her son, baby still in hand. Virgil silently cursed whoever gave parents such wonderful abilities to embarrass their children at the worst possible moments. “Let me say hi to him.”

 

    “Mom you don't-”

 

    “It's your first real friend here in town, I am not taking no for an answer.” She knocked on the car window, tucking a lock of short brown hair behind her ear.

 

    Roman rolled down the car window, already about to put the car in reverse, and book it out of there. His heart was beating incredibly fast. After just sending Virgil into a panic attack and accusing him of using Patton, he did not want to meet Mrs and Mr I never grew out of my emo phase.

 

     But then again, this was _not_ what had been expecting from Virgil’s family.  Roman has been looking forward to meeting Virgil's evil witch sister and dragon brother and weird lizard hybrid dog. Not this. He hadn't even been able to fathom the idea of a two story house full of toys and love and _babies_. God that baby was so cute. “Hi there Mrs… uh…”

 

    “Oh please call me Emily,” she smiled, and Roman instantly felt welcomed. The women smelt like warm milk, soft blankets and freshly potted plants. Roman's face softened as his worries from earlier went away and Virgil furrowed his eyebrows, meeting Roman's eyes as if to say _yeah she has that effect._ “It's nice to meet you.”

 

“You too,” Roman grinned, turning up the charm. “I'm Roman Tempus.”

 

     “Well thank you for driving Virgil home, Roman. Things can get a little hectic here.” She laughed, as smooth as honey and Roman nodded. “You're welcome anytime. In fact why don't you stay for dinner tonight?”

 

“Mom!” Virgil snapped, still holding his younger sisters hand. His face burned a bright red as he glared threateningly at the older women.

 

      “Honey!” Emily replied, mocking his shrill tone. “It's really no big deal Roman, we’d be happy to have you over. The wife's making meatloaf!”

 

    Roman blinked. _Wife_? “I wish I could.” he replied with an honest frown. “But my dads waiting for me at home. I'm really sorry.”  

 

    “No harm no foul!” Emily shrugged. “I know how parents are!” she said with a light laugh. “I hope to see you later though! It's _so_ good to finally meet one of Virgil's friends.”

 

    “Of course mama,” Roman nodded, not sure what was causing the ache in his chest. He watched as she took a step back from the window. The baby reached its chubby arms out towards Roman, and Roman waved at it, heartwarming when he heard it's childish babbles and laughs.

 

     “By Rowan!” Nessy giggled, still tightly holding Virgil's hand.

 

“Roman,” Virgil said, quick to correct, but Roman didn't care.

 

    “Bye Emily, bye Virgil,” he called, waving from the window as he pulled away, watching the two story house get smaller and smaller in his rearview mirrors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally not just posting this early because I need a distraction from my post wisdom teeth surgery pain. Whaaa-phew-no.  
> Anyways, as always, a huge thank you to Pricelogical on tumblr for beta reading this chapter!  
> my tumblr - radioactivehelena


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the incident with Roman, Virgil starts avoiding his friends causing Patton to feel a little more than ignored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw - mentions of child abuse, fighting, self deprecating thoughts

    Virgil wasn't at school the next Monday. Logan frowned as he picked at his jelly sandwich, not feeling particularly hungry. “Have you seen Virgil?” he asked the other boy at the table. “I was going to ask him to pick the next debate topic.”

    “Why don't I do it?” Roman spoke up with a pout, setting down the apple he had just been munching on, disappointed Logan hadn't thought of him first. He wiped away the juice that dribbled down his chin as he spotted Patton in the lunch line. The smaller boy was wearing a pair of overalls that were definitely hand me downs, with rips and bright patches sewn into them. But Patton still made them work, in a retro sorta way. That confidence looked _good_ on him as he rocked his thin framed glasses and a white turtleneck.

    “Do you have a subject in mind?” Logan inquired with a quirk of his head.

    Roman turned back around, momentarily distracted by Patton's cute little nose and the adorable freckles. What had they just been talking about? Oh! Right. Debate club. He needed to come up with a new topic.

    “Uhh...Disney!” Roman beamed, having his epiphany as he started at the Winnie the pooh socks peeking out from Patton's sneakers.

    Logan blinked, unamused. “You know like the pros the cons, the goods, the bads, all things magical!” Roman continued, with a flurry of hand movements and a hopeful eyebrow raise.

     “Hmmh I suppose, if you feel it will be beneficial” Logan muttered, and pulled out a journal, making a quick note of Roman's suggestion. It was one of the worst idea he had ever heard, but his brother had told him he needed to start taking other peoples opinion into consideration. Allowing Roman to enjoy his silly debate could both make the thespian like him more and get his brother off his back.

    “Hey,” Patton said with a soft smile as he slipped into the seat next to Roman, setting down his tray filled with nasty cafeteria food. “Have either of you heard from Virgil?”

    “No,” Logan said with a frown. “What do you think of Disney as our next debate topic?”

“Ooh I like it!” Patton said, opening his chocolate milk, unable to pull his thoughts away from his missing friend. Had something gone wrong over the weekend? Had Patton overstepped a boundary or made the new kid feel uncomfortable? It had happened so many times before, it wasn't unlikely. When Virgil didn't show up to school that morning Patton had tried texting him, only to be left on read. “I really hope Virgil’s okay.”

    “Actually…” Roman started, teasing his bottom lip between his teeth. Anxiety blossomed hot and heavy in his chest. He still felt guilty about that afternoon but less so now that time had passed. And surely his friends, his new _bestest_ friends would see his side! Roman was totally in the right! “Our particularly panicky pal might not be here because of me…” he said with a sigh, lowering his head in shame, pretending to be interested in the snacks in front of him. Okay, so _maybe_ the guilt was a little stronger then he remembered.

Both Patton and Logan shared a look over the thespians head, one of worry and confusion respectively.

“Oh?” Logan questioned with a raise of his eyebrows. “I do not follow…”

“Me neither, kiddo.” Patton frowned, putting a gentle hand against the taller boy’s bicep. Roman would be lying if he said he didn't lean into the touch ever so slightly. Patton was comforting and soothing and Roman wasn't so sure how much long the smaller boy would be willing to to provide such solace after he admitted he had scared Virgil into a panic attack.

     But he had to do this. Besides, it's not like Logan and Patton would care right? They were just as loyal to him as they were Virgil, if not more! Virgil was creep, and no one liked creepy. Virgil was weird and quite and a little bit scary. He didn't fit in with them at all. He suited the edgy wanna be's better, or even a table by himself  

     “Did something happen?” Patton prompted again while Roman had been busy building himself up. _Well, here it goes_ he thought, letting out a hard sigh.

     “I sorta yelled at him yesterday on the way to his house.” Roman huffed, looking away from the judgemental eyes of his friends. The guilt was already swimming heavy in his veins. He didn't need to see Patton's disappointment or Logan's befuddlement to make it worse.

   “Oh?” Patton asked, his voice going up a degree in concern. “What did you say?

    Roman shook his head, laughing bitterly through his nose. “A lot…”

    “Could you elaborate?” Logan asked pointedly. His voice was straight forward and lacked emotion, almost like a strict teacher, and it was easy for Roman to comply despite his disregard for the rules and authority figures. 

    “I told him not to hang out with us anymore!” Roman frowned, and turned around, forcing himself to look Patton in the eyes. The smaller teens face fell faster then a crashing airplane and Roman cringed inwardly as he continued. “I had a good reason to though! I-I swear! I thought he was lying to us!”

   “A-about what?” Patton asked, his voice small and timid, more than a little afraid of what Roman might say next. What would Virgil have to lie about? What would cause Roman to corner the little emo? 

     “I…I dunno.” Roman admitted, defeated. “He just… he seems so sketchy okay?! Always bouncing his legs and telling half truths and hiding his smile, so I just-” With a heavy sigh Roman raked his hands through his hair, leaving it a mess of brown wavy curls sticking up haphazardly. “I dunno, I just cornered him, and he sorta freaked out, got all…” Roman took a moment to give an example of Virgil's erratic breathing, making his own lungs fill and exhale rapidly, before continuing. “So I apologized and dropped him off at home and that was that.” he finished with a sorry shrug, heart hammering wildly in his chest. 

    There was a beat of silence in which no one talked, carefully considering the weight of the words Roman had said in their own heads. The tension brewing in the creative teens stomach bubbled like a poisonous potion until he almost couldn't take it anymore. He was literally vibrating with nervous energy, and he couldn't help but think of how ironic that was.

     “I see,” Logan finally said with a grimace, breaking the tension with two even, carefully measured words. “You were simply unaware. Virgil exhibits signs of anxiety.”

“Yeah but-oh?” Roman asked with a quirk of his eyebrow, looking up from a stain on the table to meet Logan's dark, steady eyes. “Why does that matter?”

“I believe you might have triggered him to react in a fight or flight response.”

    “ _Oh kiddo_ ," Patton breathed. His voice was sounded far too tight for Roman's liking, and even though the thespian wanted to beg for forgiveness, burry his face in Patton's side and promise he'd make it up somehow, Roman didn't want to over step his boundaries. Especially not after _just_ breaking his new friends trust. 

     "You must have scared him so much!” the blue eyed boy scolded, keeping his head down, trying to blink the frustration from his eyes.

“Experiences that might seem mundane to you or I are difficult for him.” Logan continued. “That might be the reason behind his… _secrecy_.”

“I had no idea…” Roman winced, feeling dumbfounded and bewildered, much like that moment in the car after the emo teens melt down. “Virgil… he told you this?”

    “We hypothesized,” Logan sighed. “It's not ideal. Having heard it from the horse's mouth would have been preferable, but at least now we know how to provide adequate support.”

    “Right,” Roman nodded stiffly, picking at the food in front of him. He no longer wanted to eat, knowing that he had upset not only the emo nightmare who had weaseled his way into his new friends heart, but had also ruined his chances with Patton and Logan. “I deeply regret it. If I could take it back I would!”

     “Don't tell me,” Logan said, pursing his lips. “Tell Virgil.”

   “I still don't understand why,” Patton spoke up suddenly, sounding incredibly far away and so, _so_ defeated. “Did he do something to hurt you…?” Surely Roman had a good reason for all of this, right? 

    “Of course not!” Roman hastened to say, throwing his hands up in a surrender. “I just… I had my suppositions. And I wanted to protect you.” His hands fell as quickly as he realized what a stupid excuse that was for hurting a friend (enemy? frienemy?).

    “Well,” Patton started, finally making eye contact with the taller teen and straightening his jaw. “I can protect myself, thank you very much.”

“What?” Roman stuttered, furrowing his brows, genuinely at a loss for words. He looked taking aback, brown eyes wide in shock and jaw slack, not expecting that response from the normally so happy and upbeat teenager.

    “I'm my own person!” Patton elaborated. “I don't need anyone… sticking-sticking up for me! I can decide who and who not to be friends with, without-without you-!” He cut himself off with a loud sigh, running his hands through his already messy, curly, unkempt, hair. God this day was awful, he missed Virgil, learned one of his newest friends had threatened his new friend and was just surviving the day on the thought that his step mom wouldn't be home. Something sharp and painful stung at Patton's heart and he had to swallow thickly to try and make it go away. 

    “If you'll allow me to elaborate,” Logan began, addressing Roman. “I believe Patton is upset because-”

“Because people never let me speak for myself!” Patton snapped bitterly, before burying his head in his hands with an immediate muffled “Sorry-crap I didn't mean to yell, Lo, I'm so sorry.”

     Roman looked over at Logan with a quirk of his eyebrows, but the boy just frowned in confusion, adjusting his glasses. “Patton is everything adequate?”

    “Yeah, Logan, I’m...I'm okay. I'm sorry for snapping.” Patton muttered lifting his head with a wince, blue eyes shinny and red. “Just... I had a rough day.”

    He turned to Roman then, a glowing fire in his bright blue eyes. “And Roman,” Patton started. “I don't need you to look out for me so much. Virgil is just as much my friend as you or Logan, okay?”

    Roman nodded, cheeks alight in humiliation, feeling very much so like a scolded child. “I want you to apologize to him.”

   “Of course,” Roman nodded, unable to meet Patton's gaze, just glad that the older boy thought of him as a friend. “I will do whatever I can do make it right.”

    “I know you will!” Patton smiled, throwing his arms around Roman in a quick hug. The fanciful teen relaxed under the familiar presences of Patton's arms wrapped around him and allowed his eyes to close momentarily.

     “Did I mention that I like your socks?” Roman began as he pulled away, desperate and far too ready for a conversation change. Anything to take the attention off his guilty conscience.

“You do?” Patton beamed, sticking out his shoes to get a better look at the apparel on his feet. “I love Winnie the pooh!”

“Me too!” Roman smiled softly, taking a bite of his food.

    “Hey Logan,” Patton started, winking secretively at Roman, starting to bounce in his seat. Roman was glad to see some of his friends pep back, his sorrows from the previous conversation momentarily forgotten. “Do your socks have holes in them?”

“No I don't think-”

“Then how did you get your feet in them?!”

 

-

 

      Virgil's mom dropped him off late the next day, smooching a wet kiss on his cheek and waving goodbye from her car as her son walked inside. The nervous teen stumbled through the empty hallways, signed in, and found his way to fourth period gym class, watching as a basketball sailed by his head and missed by an inch.

    “Sorry!” a kid named Nate cried and just sorta shrugged at the ball, too lazy to pick it up. Virgil nodded in his direction and hastily continued on his way to find the gym couch. The man in question was huddled in the corner near a beaten up boombox, whistle between his teeth. He perked up at the sight of Virgil and waved him over.

    “Ah Deamon!” he cried, slapping the boy on the back, causing him to wobble on his feet. “You're here! Good, good. Why don't you go get changed and tell Heart to hurry up while you're at it.”

    “Yes sir,” Virgil nodded, swallowing thickly as he slipped into the locker room, escaping the blaring music and the squeak of sneakers. God, why did physical activity have to be _so loud_ , it already sucked enough on it's own.

     He quickly spotted Patton, stepping out of the bathroom stall rushing to shove his clothes into his gym locker. 

“Hey Patton,” Virgil muttered, sliding his backpack off his shoulders and setting it on the bench.

“Virgil!” Patton jumped, suddenly  surprised by the voice of his new friend, sending a forced enthusiastic smile his way. “You're here! How are you feeling?!” Patton's head had been aching ever since the quadratic formula third period and his chest felt uncomfortably tight. 

    “Better,” he muttered, starting to unzip his sweatshirt, shrugging it off. “Just a stupid cold or whatever.”

    “That time of the year.” Patton commented awakwardly, making a face of displeasure. Whether or not the older boy saw through his lies, Virgil couldn't tell. He just continued to get changed. “How was your weekend? The diner was _so_ much fun, we should go there again some time!” Patton's smile seemed forced and unnatural but his blue eyes were alight with the promise of friendship so Virgil went along with the small talk.

    “It was pretty great.” Virgil admitted sheepishly, pulling up his gym shorts and turning around to slip into a tacky, bright red shirt. He squirmed, with the clothes hanging loosely on his skinny frame. Virgil always seemed to feel naked without his signature hoodie, and the gym uniform was no exception.

      “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, of course.” Patton sighed, stretching his hands behind his back with an audible _pop_. “As I'll ever be.” It was then that he finally got a good look at Virgil. His hair hung in front of his eyes, makeup bringing out the grey in his pupils, trying in vain to cover the dark circles that made it look like he’d been punched. He was hunched over and rubbing his bare arms as if he was cold, seeming bitter and miserable.

    Patton smiled sympathetically and lead the way back out to the gym. At least they could both be miserable together.

 

-

 

    “Why weren't you in lunch?!” Patton asked, confronting Virgil in the hallway between study hall and English. The smaller teens arms were crossed over his chest in the most non-threatening manner, but Virgil still found himself afraid of Patton. He could be incredibly intimidating, in a disappointed parent type way. Patton probably had eyes in the back of his head.

    “Making up an art lesson,” Virgil replied easily, trying to hide the tremor in his hands, as he slipped a book into his locker. It was still bare, and empty, lacking the cutesy decorations like Patton’s had. It only served to remind Virgil of how unwanted he felt here, how this school was only temporary, how he didn't belong. It felt like a slap in the face and it look all of Virgil's will power not to go reeling against the floor. 

    “Oh-well-Logan was worried!” Patton lied. In all actuality he had been worried. Virgil was acting weird, avoiding them, and had barely held a conversation in gym. It hurt. It twisted something deep in Patton's heart to know that this was it, his new friend was finally leaving him. The group he had managed to just barely hold together was already falling apart.

    “Really?” Virgil asked with a quirk of his eyebrows as he finally looked up Patton, trying to hide the shimmer of hope from his voice. Did Logan really care? Perhaps Roman hadn't already turned them all against him like he had thought.

   “We were all worried.” Patton said softly, taking a risk by putting his hand against Virgil's bicep. Virgil closed his eyes, relishing in the gentle touch. Since when had Patton looked so tired, so worn down? Virgil felt his stomach twist with worry and he leaned into the warm hand at his side even more.

    “You don't need to be.” he muttered after a second of content silence. “I'm okay.” Then Virgil hiked his backpack over his shoulder, effectively knocking Patton's hand from his arm. “I uh-I'm seeing Dr. Emilie this period so I'll catch you later?”

    He took off down the hallway before Patton could question him any farther. The smaller boy stood there, his chest feeling empty and lonely without his friend, watching Virgil disappear down the hall. Logan would call those emotions foolishness. How could one be lonely in a crowded hallway? Patton just wish he knew.

 

-

 

    Patton melted in his seat, feeling utterly and completely defeated. He was waiting for Logan and Roman in Mr. Sanders room, his head pounding angrily in his skull. It’d been a long, tedious day. Junior year was already chalked up to be the most strenuous yet, and then there was the issue with his new found friends. He worried so much for them, for both Virgil and Roman. He just wanted them to get along.

    “Today's been so magnificent,” Logan started, stepping inside the classroom with his usual flurry of earnestness, his hands on his hips. “Oh. Patton. I didn't expect to see you here so early, but it is wonderful to see you so enthusiastic about debate club.”

    “You too Lo,” Patton mewled, head still in his hands.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked, coming to sit in a chair next to his friend with a worried squeak. Logan may not have been good at reading emotions, but at least he could tell when someone was genuinely sick. “Will you be well enough to participate in the club today?”

    Patton's face scrunched up in displeasure and he turned away from Logan, resting his cheek against the cool aluminum of the desk. It helped alleviate the heat that had risen in his face upon seeing his friend, but did nothing for the butterflies in his stomach. “Yeah,” he muttered, forcing himself up and putting an exaggerated smile on his face. “All good!”

   Logan smiled politely back. “That's good! Roman should be here any moment…” just as he checked his watch the boy in question entered the room, Virgil not trailing too far behind.

    “I thought you were absent.” Logan muttered, addressing the younger boy with a sharp, analytical gaze.

“Well you thought wrong!” Virgil replied lamely, laughing awkwardly through his nose. He pulled up a seat and flipped it around so he could face Patton.

    Roman squinted his eyes at Virgil and came to stand behind Patton. “Where were you during lunch then?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Library,” Virgil replied easily, looking down at his hands and letting his bangs fall in front of his face. Immediately his gut clenched and he felt guilty for lying. The cheese sandwich he had eaten earlier that day threatened to make a reappearance. He just-he couldn't seem weak in front of them. He couldn't let Roman know where he truly had been.

   Patton frowned, but shoved down his suspicions away to be dealt with later, turning towards Roman with a pointed glare. His head was still pulsating painfully, his entire body felt stiff, and he _really_ didn't wanna have to deal with any of this right now.

     “Roman,” Patton started, his voice laced with a parental warning. The lights felt too bright, the usual comfort of the colorful classroom was now radiantly crippling. “Don't we already have a topic for today's meeting?” he asked hopefully, aching for his mind to be taken off the pain in his head. _Nothing_ had gone right today. All he wanted was to curl up and go to sleep. Preferably right now.

    “Yes, the theme for today's debate is Disney,” Logan stated, straightening out his glasses.

“Disney?” Virgil asked, his head still down, shoulders slumped. “I don't understand…”

     “It's just a practice,” Logan explained. “An example of sorts to get the wheels in our brains turning until we’re given the problem to be addressed in a future competition we will be competing in. The dilemmas are much more advanced than debating over who makes a better Disney protagonist, but it's a good place to start.”

    Virgil shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and looked up “Oh, right of course.” his stomach was swimming with panic. He knew Roman didn't want him here, with his stubble glares and harsh comments. Logan seemed angry and disappointed that he had skipped lunch. And Patton… he just wasn't himself.

    “Well, Prince Edwards is obviously the best Disney character there is.” Roman said, throwing out his hands to strike a pose. “I think I win.”

  “You don't win by picking.” Logan said irritably. “You win by arguing.”

“Oh yeah?” Roman asked, huffing through his nose. “Who would you pick?”

“Baymax from big hero six.”

“An admirable choice. You get second place.”

    Virgil furrowed his brow and crossed his arms. “There are no places!” he snapped, curling in on himself. “At least I don't-I don't think it works like that!”

    “Coming from third place in triwizard champion!” Roman snapped, balling his hands fists.

    Virgil curled in on himself at the nickname and slammed his mouth closed. Yup, he tasted his lunch. He was _so_ sick of Roman’s superior attitude and his annoying, boisterous, voice and his stupid, _stupid_ , judgy eyes. Virgil was starting to wish he had convinced his mom to let him stay home again. “Shut up drama d...dumb!” he snapped, floundering under the pressure of having to come up with a good nickname.

    “What are you hiding?!” Roman hissed back, not missing a beat, hunching over both Patton and Logan to get as much in Virgil's face as possible. Roman had forgotten the incident from yesterday, how adorable Virgil's sister had been, and how sweet his mom had acted, suddenly too caught up in proving himself right. He needed to show Patton just how _bad_ Virgil really was. He needed to protect.

    “Nothing!” Virgil snapped back, panic clutching at his heart. “I just…”

“Roman maybe-” Logan started, awkwardly pushing up his glasses as he started to stand.

“Look, he's a creepy cookie okay?! I just don't trust him!”

    “Why can't you all just at least pretend to get along!” Patton snapped, lifting his head from his hands, eyes burning.

“What?” Roman asked, dumbfounded.

“I-i-I…” Patton muttered, sniffling loudly. “Sorry for snapping.” He shoved his palms into his hands as if it would help alive his tension.

    Logan was surprisingly quick to jump in. “It's alright,” he explained calmly “Yelling is a completely normal human response to stress.”

    Roman frowned and pulled up a chair next to Patton. “What's bothering you puff-ball?” he asked lightly, carefully taking the smaller boys soft, gentle, hand away from where they were angrily pressed into his face. Patton felt his stomach swoop and quickly looked away from Roman's dark handsome eyes that threatened to pull him under and drown him for good.

    “It's just been a bad day.” Patton finally admitted, letting curly hair fall in front of his hazy eyes. Virgil felt the hot knife of guilt twisting his gut. Yup, part of that was _definitely_ his fault.

“Is there anything we can do to make it better?” he sheepishly spoke up, shifting his bangs from his face.

    Patton sighed heavily, and Roman squeezed his friends hand gently. “Anything?” the fanciful teen asked, earnestly, leaning into Patton's personal space and mixing their breath.

     “Stop fighting,” Patton whispered after a moment of gathering his courage. He was just loud enough for them all to hear. “It-its… stupid I know but… I need my all friends to get along.”

     “Of course you do,” Roman replied softly, giving Patton's hand a light squeeze.

“That includes you and Virgil,” Patton muttered, his head still spinning. He felt bad about being so blunt, and honest with his emotions but _goddamnit_ ! Today had been so _awful_! He was feeling ignored and belittled and he deserved to be listened to sometimes!

    “Of course it does,”  Virgil spoke up then, the guilt still hot and heavy. He picked at a thumbnail on his hand, refusing to make eye contact.  “I'm so sorry Pat. I never meant to make you upse-”

    “No, I'm the one who should be saying sorry.” Roman said curtly, putting up his free hand to cut Virgil off. “Look, Count Woe-Laf,” he started with a loud sigh. “I don't hate you okay? I don't even dislike you!” Virgil quirked his eyebrows in a silent question. “I guess I'm jealous? I-I dunno okay?! I don't like being wrong-but I'm sorry. You don't deserve to be treated like that. I never should have been so mean to you.” Roman looked Virgil in the eye, coffee meeting a stunning gray. The apology hung stiff in the air, awaiting Virgil's acknowledgment.

     “I accept your apology, I guess,” Virgil finally muttered, his cheeks burning bright red. Despite the apprehension in his words there was sincerity in his voice. He truly meant it. He’d do whatever he could to make it up to Patton. Besides, Virgil didn't enjoy the constant teasing from Roman. He’d much rather have the huge drama nerd on his side, playing his knight in shining armor instead of the grand noble come to kill him. “And I'm sorry too. I know I didn't make it easy on you.”

   “Nonsense!” Roman cried, throwing up his arms. “You were lovely!”

“I was creepy.”

    Roman barked out a laugh and grabbed Virgil's neck underneath the crock of his elbow, smiling wildly. “You were the least intimidating emo kid I’d ever meet!”

“Don't push it,” Virgil teased, throwing Roman's arm off his neck with a huff.

    Patton laughed, quickly wiping his eyes on his jacket and sniffling quietly. It didn't look like things would be that bad after all.

-

 

     “Actually I need to tell you something.” Virgil said to Patton as they waited for the late bus. The emo teen was wringing his hands together behind his back nervously, trying hard not to look as anxious as he felt. Roman and Logan were both far gone by now, driving themselves home and hitching a ride respectively. There were scattered groups of kids playing on their phones or making idle small talk. Nobody paid any attention to the kid wearing all black and the boy next to him decked out in a cat hoodie, despite their obviously clashing aesthetics. 

     “Well, what is it kiddo?” Patton asked, his voice laced with gentle affection. He smiled softly at the taller boy, blue eyes shining with compassion. Virgil swallowed  thickly and he had to look away. Patton's kindness only made the guilt weighing down his gut feel even heavier. 

    “I lied,” Virgil said curtly. The words felt like bile in his mouth. His tongue felt like cotton. He _hated_ lying. Despised it. Deceiving his friends, family, the ones he cared about made him feel filthy. But when anxiety reared its ugly head, lying was the only way Virgil knew how to protect himself. If Virgil lied, then the others couldn't see the dirty truth he tried so desperately to hide.

    That he was a chronically anxious pitiful orphan. That his birth parents had hated him, neglected him and locked him in a closet until they’d almost forgotten about him. 

 

    And how could he tell of that to Patton? How could he tell Patton that his birth parents had spent all their money on drugs and alcohol so he had to wear the same clothes everyday and went to bed hungry? How could he tell Patton that it wasn't even that bad, because atleast they never hit him, right? And then what about that time in the first grade - when Virgil had failed his first spelling test and his parents got so mad that they locked him in their closet - how could he tell Patton about that one? How could he tell Patton that the only reason he hadn't died was because his teacher called CPS the third week Virgil hadn't shown up to school? 

 

      _It just wasn't something Virgil talked about._ Even his moms could barely get him to open, but _something_  about Patton made him want to. 

 

    Virgil's breath hitched just thinking about it and he refused to look at Patton. He didn't want to see the disappointment, the confusion, and the hatred that his parents had so often turned on him. "I lied and I'm so sorry." 

    “I…” Patton started with a sad smile. “I know.” He put his hand own hand against Virgil's. It was cold, and trembled ever so slightly.

     “You're not mad?” Virgil asked, looking down at their intertwined fingers with rapt attention. It helped to ground him, and pull him from the thoughts that threatened to drown him in darkness, just like that closet.

    Patton coed softly at the shaking boy in front of him. “Of course not! Why would you think that?" he muttered. “But I do think I need to understand the whole situation... I'm a bit confused.”

     Virgil nodded, swallowing thickly. That seemed fair. The past few days had been hectic, and none of it was Pattons fault at all. With a deep breath, Virgil started to explain the Roman situation, how worried it made him feel. “-so during lunch I went to see Dr. Emile,” Virgil mutter, relishing in the gentle squeeze of Patton's hand. “And during English too… I was really worked up… also…” he took another deep breath, then another. He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, trying to psych himself up. He could do this. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. 

     “I have two moms! And I'm an orphan?! Well I used to be but not anymore. It's kinda like a thing I'm stupidly ashamed of and hide and lie about-well the orphan part not the mom part-anyways I lie about it to keep it a secret because my birth parents were-” Virgil kept ranting, his breaths coming in pants. He struggled to keep up with the fast pace thoughts spiraling around his head, trying to drag him closer and closer into a full blown panic.

     Patton suddenly gently cupped both of Virgil's cheeks in his warm hands, laughing. The sound was so sweet it managed to effectively cut Virgil off mid sentence, and his grey eyes snapped up, meeting the brilliant blue across from him. “Hey, honey,” Patton said softly. “I. Don't. Care.” His voice was as soft a bunny’s downy fur “All I care about is that you're okay, alright?”

    Virgil nodded numbly. “But… but what about you?” he asked, blinking rapidly as to not let the tears fall. He’d already had a panic attack in front of one friend, he refused to let it happen again.

“What about me?” Patton asked. Virgil saw his smile fall for half of a second before it was so wide again his eyes were crinkling.

    “I just…” Virgil huffed in frustration, effectively blowing his breath all over Patton. It smelled like mint and cold. “You're okay? As in, you're not mad?”

     “I'm okay,” Patton repeated, slowly taking his hands from Virgil's face and interlocking their fingers. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,”

   “Next time please tell me if something is bothering you okay?” Patton continued earnestly. “I am your tour guide for a reason after all.”

    Virgil laughed and just simply shook his head. “No Patton. You're my _best_ friend.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyye thanks for reading! S/o to Princelogical on Tumblr for beta reading this chapter, he's seriously the best, check 'em out!  
> Also catch me trying to update as quickly as possible so that I can post my Christmas chapter in time... We still have Halloween and thanksgiving to get through though so I guess we'll see...  
> My tumblr - radioactivehelena


	8. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boy's spend a spoopy weekend together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings - self deprecating thoughts, none really it's mostly fluff.  
> Sorry this one's extra long!

    October arrived in a flurry of cool weather and colorful leaves that littered the ground and smelled of decay. Logan particularly enjoyed the crisp crunch that emitted under his sneakers with every step he took. He’d started walking everywhere just because of that, listening to the pleasant sound as he made his way his way to school. Secretly, Logan was thriving. Halloween was right around the corner and school was really kicking into high gear. He had daily AP math homework and science labs everyday, ready and waiting to challenge to him. He could feel the wheels turning in his brain, moving and working as he figured out a particularly a tough problem or got an A on a quiz. Logan was _living_ for the difficult classes he currently had. It was every nerds best dream to have a schedule like his.

 

    On top of that, the debate club was working incredibly hard. Logan was so proud of his ragtag team of misfits. At first he wasn't so sure about Patton, Roman, and Virgil but they'd proved themselves quick enough. And Mr. Sanders said this year's competition topic would be released in no time, just after Christmas! It made Logan almost giddy with anticipation, even though he knew that date was months away. He couldn't wait to debate on an actual stage, in front of an actual audience, listing off his points and opening statement with passion and a hunger to win. As he walked into the club meeting, shedding his bag, he wasn't surprised to find Roman and Patton already there having a heated discussion.

 

     “It's my favorite holiday too! I mean, along with Christmas and Valentines day~” Patton squealed, jumping up and down. His curly hair bounced in front of his blazing blue eyes, and his lips curled into an almost impossibly happy smile. Logan hurried to look away as he set down his bag, ignoring the pounding of his heart and the sweat that had broken out on his palms.

 

    “The atmosphere is so spooky~!” Roman wiggled his eyebrows, as he put on a creepy voice. Patton couldn't help but giggle, covering the light and airy sounds with his hands.

 

“And-and-and free candy!” he added, jumping from foot to foot in a little dance. Roman's face brightened as he started to become more and more excited, most likely egged on by Patton’s energy.

 

“Don't forget the costumes!”

 

    “I assume you are talking about the festivities of All Hallows' eve?” Logan inquired, coming to stand next to his friends.

 

    “Yeah!” Patton cried, turning to face Logan with a wide smile. The usually stoic nerds stomach swooped unexpectedly and he straightened his glasses in order to comfort himself.

 

“Do you still celebrate?!” Logan pursed his lips in a condescending smile.

 

    “Of course not; it is childish to partake in such foolish activities.” Patton's grin faltered and Logan felt his breath hitch. Had he said something wrong? What had he done to upset his new friend? Before he had much time to dwell on it however, Roman was capturing him in a one armed hug, throwing his elbow around Logans neck, smiling widely.

 

    “Cmon pocket protector.” Roman cooed, as Logan flung off the offending arm and hurried to straighten himself up, fixing both his hair and glasses. “Halloween is the best time of the year-next to my birthday of course-how can you not dress up?! Trick or treat?! Watch a scary movie?! Get in the spirit!”

 

    “It's just like that comic-con you love so much,” Patton added, once again joining in on the friendly banter, hands on his hips. His eyes were wide and hopeful but he’d lost an ounce of his pep from moments ago.

 

“I do enjoy partaking in cosplay every now and then…” Logan commented, crossing his arms deep in thought.

 

     “Then it's settled!” Roman cried, throwing his hands in the air. “You're all coming over to my house for Halloween!”

 

      “Woah, woah, woah, what now?” Virgil asked, sliding his headphones off as he stepped into the room. He’d come straight from Dr. Emile’s office, as he did every so often. No one commented on his lateness.

 

    Logan cleared his throat. “I believe Roman and Patton have made arrangements for us to-”

“Celebrate Halloween together!” Patton suddenly cried, unable to help himself, bouncing on the heels of his feet. His hands were in front of his mouth as he smiled a wide, guilty, smile over at Logan. “Sorry I just couldn't help myself! I'm so flippin’ excited!”

 

     “Sounds cool,” Virgil huffed nonchalantly, but he couldn't hide the small grin that threatened to dance across his lips. Halloween was his favorite holiday and the only way it could possibly be better was if he got to spend it with his new favorite people.

 

    “I knew you’d think so!” Roman beamed, placing his hands on his hips. “Emos love their spoopy holiday.”

 

    Virgil made a face of disgust. “I prefer dark overlord of the night, thank you very much,” he muttered, preening under the appreciative giggles from Patton. He'd never heard such an adorable sound in his entire life before.

 

    “Well then, dark overlord,” Roman started with a hint of mockery in his tone. “How do you feel about matching costumes?”

 

“Ohmygod yes!” Patton squealed, returning to bouncing from foot to foot in excitement, grabbing both of Roman's hand.

 

    The theater nerd couldn't help but turn bright red as he jumped up and down with the excitable teen, relishing in how perfectly Patton's hand fit in his own. They were soft, small, and warm. Roman never wanted to let go. “That's such a good idea!” Roman couldn't help but beam under Patton's praise, smiling like a goofy idiot. “We could be kittens and puppies!” Patton cried.

 

     “Or prince and princess!” The fancical teen cut in, wiggling his eyebrows seductively. Logan scrunched up his nose in distaste.

 

“How about famous figures from history instead?”

 

“Or something spooky?” Virgil asked hopefully, wiggling his fingers creepily.

     “Alice in wonderland!” Patton cried with a contagious smile, vibrating with energy, letting go of Roman's hand. The taller boy was so caught up in the moment though, that he barely noticed as the two of them contained to brain storm. “The wizard of oz!”

 

    “Winnie the Pooh?!” Roman grinned, spreading his arms wide.

 

“Yes!” Patton said enthusiastically. “I love that idea!!”

 

“Winnie the pooh was a substantial part of my childhood,” Logan mused.

 

“Sure,” Virgil muttered with a shrug, shoving his hands in his pockets.

 

      Patton beamed, throwing his arms around both Roman and Logan in a side hug of celebration. The latter toppled over, momentarily stunned by how much _smaller_ but _stronger_ the younger boy was. Logan was tugged into the tight embrace, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “We can't all be Winnie the Pooh,” he stated straightening up and pushing his glasses up his nose as if the simple act would help calm his beating heart rein his red cheeks under control. 

 

    “Of course not silly!” Patton laughed. “We all dress up as different characters from the show!”

 

    “I call Tigger!” Roman cried, throwing his hands into the air to strike a pose.

 

“Oooh, oooh, can I be Winnie the Pooh?! Pleaaase?!” Patton begged.

 

“Only if I'm Owl,” Logan muttered, trying in vain to fight off the smile that threatened to play on his lips.

 

“And that leaves Virgil with Eeyore!” Roman smiled, ruffling the shorter boy’s hair.

 

    “Hey!” Virgil flinched, gently shoving the imposing hand off. He quickly pushed his purple bangs back into place, making sure they covered his stormy grey eyes. “Thanks for noticing me I guess…”

 

     “So it's settled,” Roman smiled, placing his hands on his hips with a heavy sigh. “My house, October thirty first, be there or be exponentially squared.”

 

    Logan blinked. “I believe the saying is be there or be squared… no need to add any... unnecessary math to the equation.”

 

“Look Count Calculator, I can use PEMDAS however I see fit,” Roman quipped with a teasing smile.

 

Logan just stared straight back, aghast, the shock clear in his face. “No, actually you can't. It's the order of operations. It needs to be done in that specific arrangement.”

 

      “I'm so excited!” Patton cut in, clapping his hands. “Can I help make the costumes?!”

Virgil started to say “you don't have to do that” but was cut off by Roman's loud and rambunctious;

 

“I'll help too!”

 

     “I have not been trick or treating in years,” Logan admitted with soft awe. He missed the childish giddy of getting free candy from strangers. It was a strange, if not terrifying experiencing. One could never be too careful taking food from random people.

 

“Me neither,” Virgil shrugged, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

 

    “Good thing you're friends with us!” Roman smiled, throwing his arm around Patton's neck in a gentle hug. The smaller boy giggled, squishing into Roman's chest.

 

    “Yeah, it's gonna be a _treat_!” He laughed, covering his mouth to hide the giggles that threatened to spill.

 

    Logan rolled his eyes, an amused smile dancing on his lips. He didn't know why he ever agreed to let Patton sit with him, let alone join his debate club. But he was glad he did.

 

-

 

     Roman was sitting on the plush carpeted floor with his golden retriever, Charlie. They were looking out the front window, waiting for the whole crew to arrive, already decked out in their Halloween costumes. The pup, an energetic, fluffy, thing, was wearing an orange pumpkin onesie, her tail wagging back and forth as Roman ran his fingers through her soft, downy, fur. Restlessness was brewing in the pit of Roman's stomach as he laid with his cheek firmly pressed into the warm, scratchy, carpet. It was the first time his new friends were coming to his house and he felt the overwhelming need to impress.

 

    Halloween decorations in the ghost and bat variety where strung around his living room. The lights had been turned down to create an eerie feeling and all traces of _anything_ spider related had been removed, per request of Patton. The whole house had a spooky vibe to it. Even the stairs leading up to the second story were lined with twinkling purple lights. Roman just _knew_ Virgil would love it (the stupid emo nerd).

 

     Roman also bought enough food to feed a small army (or four ravenous teenage boys). It waited in the dining room, while a pizza was cooking in the oven.

 

    “Hey buddy,” Roman's Dad said, stepping into the living room with a tired smile. “They here yet?”

 

“No,” Roman groaned melodramatically shoving his face in Charlie's fur, breathing in her familiar, somewhat nasty, sent.

 

    “Don't worry pal,” his father muttered, sitting in the recliner opposite his son. “They will be.” There was a beat of comfortable silence in which Roman continued to breathe in Charlie's warmth, while his dad started at his child with a wisp of nostalgia. “Hey I want you to be safe tonight okay?” his father finally spoke up, clearing his throat.

 

    “Daaaad!” Roman whined, lifting his head to wrinkle his brow in embarrassment. “It's trick or treating, not a cast party or anything crazy like that.”

 

    His father just sighed. “Yeah well who knows what you kids get up too now a days. I just worry okay?” 

 

     “Fine, fine, if I see a line of coke I promise to restrain myself.”

 

“Roman!”

 

   “They're here!” Roman jumped up suddenly as Charlie started to bark out the window, her tail wagging ferociously.

 

    His dad grinned softly, smile lines wrinkling in the process. “I’ll be in the basement if you need me?”

 

“Okay! Love ya Dad!”

 

     Logan and Patton were clambering out of the car, both in their respective costumes, sleeping bags in hand. Patton was wearing yellow jeans he had borrowed from Roman and a red shirt with the words ‘pooh’ haphazardly sewn on the front. There were also two little yellow ears hot glued to a headband sticking out from his mop of sandy, curly, hair.

 

    Logan had on brown khakis and a cream colored polo shirt. However, what really made him stand out where the wings Patton had managed to sew together with the help of Roman. They were three different layers of tawny, chestnut and beige. The fabric was soft, flowy, and silky. It hung around his wrists loosely with velcro, allowing for optimal arm movement and it blew majestically in the cool autumn wind.

 

     “I still don't see why I have to wear this,” Logan grumbled as he waved goodbye to his mom and headed towards Roman's front door. There were styrofoam graveyards planted in the garden and a plastic hand sticking out from the ground. Logan wrinkled his nose at the lack of autonomy correctness.

 

    “Cause you look adorable!” Patton sang, admiring the decorations. Roman's house was huge, and even his neighborhood seemed extravagant! The houses were the kind with white picket fences rounding the backyards, two stories tall, the kind you didn't mind bringing your friends over to. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, fear and excitement weighing heavy in his heart, Patton rang the doorbell, hoisting his messenger bag further up his shoulders.

 

     A loud _bark_ could be heard and Patton yelped in response, soon reducing to a pile of giggles as Roman threw open the door and a wall of fluff hit him head on. “You have a dog?!” Patton squealed, letting the said puppy jump on top of him and attack him with kisses.

 

     “You never t-told us you had a golden retriever,” Logan stuttered, his hands up as if to protect himself, his dark eyes wide with panic. His heart felt tight and restricted in his chest. He watched with careful concern as Patton squat down to run his fingers through the dogs yellow fur.

 

    Roman took hold of her leash with a gentle smile. “Her names Charlie,” he stated, beaming at his friends. “She's perfectly friendly, don't worry.”

 

    Logan nodded, squinting at the beast who was still fevertly licking at Patton's face, smudging the whiskers he had drawn on his nose. “Well, come in, come in!” Roman smiled gently tucking on Charlie's leash. Logan stepped around the dog with a gulp, and into the house, blinking at the high walls and expensive paintings.

 

    “Woah…” Patton breathed out through his mouth lowly. “Your house is huge!”

 

“Thanks…” Roman said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“And look at all these decorations!” the smaller boy added after he set down his stuff, gaping at the skulls and pumpkins littered across Roman's living room.

 

     “All spider free too,” the theater geek added, earning a squeal of approval from Patton.

 

    Roman's house really was huge. There was a kitchen to the left and a living room to the right with a gaitangic fireplace and towering bookshelves. There were all sorts of books neatly stacked in there, from studies on psychology to environmental studies. Logan ran his fingers across the spines, steering clear of Roman as he tucked Charlie on the back deck. He felt the different titles calling out to him, begging to be picked up and read, until he came across a particular biography. It didn't seem like it belonged. Gingerly, he lifted it and examined the cover, turning the book over to read the back. It looked strangely familiar…

 

    “Virgil's here!” Patton squealed, and Logan set the book down with a _thunk_ , heading over towards the front door.

 

    Virgil rang the doorbell and Charlie started to bark again. However, the usually fearful boy simply smiled shyly, floppy, blue-grey ears falling into his eyes. “Sorry I’m late,” Virgil started to mutter, but was cut off when Patton gently grabbed his hand and pulled him into a big.

“You look so cute!”

 

    “Thanks.” Virgil blushed a bright red, gently shoving Patton off and, looking around at the spooky decorations with childlike wonder. “It looks hella cool in here,” he whispered, relishing in the way Patton's hand had linked with his own.

 

      “Thanks eyo-snore,” Roman quipped, wrapping an arm around Virgil's neck, pulling him down on the couch. The anxious let out a tiny yelp, as his whole body was forced downwards and he was unable to stop himself from pulling Patton with him. However, after a fleeting second he allowed Virgil to relax under the strong weight of the taller boy and into the soft, plush cushions of the seat.

 

     “When are we gonna go trick or treating?!” Patton begged, nearly sitting on top of his friend, still holding onto Virgil's hand.

 

     “Optimal candy time is between five and eight o’clock.” Logan sated, pushing up his glasses. Roman stared at him with an incredulous smile, leaning into Virgil's side. _God_ , the fanciful teen though. _Logan really did know everything. How incredibly, frustratingly, hot._

“What?” The taller boy asked, flushing bright red under the scrutiny of Roman's brown eyes. “I know my Halloween data.”

 

      “Oh yeah?” Virgil asked, his eyes glinting mischievously. “Try me,”  

 

“The first jack-o'-lanterns were made from turnips.”

 

    “Huh-didn't know that one,” Virgil muttered, as Patton snuggled farther into his chest. The smaller, more cuddly teen was a constant warmth and source of affection on his one side. On the other Roman offered safety. The mix of the two different boys gently pressed into Virgil's chest made happiness and warmth spread through his gut. It was a strange feeling, a feeling he wasn't use to, but it was a nice feeling. A feeling he certainly didn't mind. Virgil couldn't help but melt into the couch cushions.

 

     It felt wonderful to just be _wanted_. To not think, to not panic, but allow his mind to slow down momentarily and to live in the moment. Even if that moment was painfully fleeting.

 

      “It's interesting, seeing as turnips are so small and pumpkins are so big,” Logan said, his eyes bright as he continued to explain. Patton nodded with rapt attention and the taller boy wilted under such careful consideration. Logan wasn't use to people listening to him for so long. He cursed at the faint blush that spread across his cheeks and looked away. “Anyways, yes, I think we should go trick or treating now.”

 

    Roman sat up then, displacing both Virgil and Patton who feel  unceremoniously on the couch cushions with an oof. A wide smirk on graced the thespians lips. “What no spooky movies first?” he asked, wiggling his fingers ominously.

 

     “No way!” Patton cried, popping his head up from Virgil's side. “I'll get scared!”

 

“If we want good candy we should go now,’ Virgil agreed, voicing his own, different, fears. "They always give out more to little kids anyways." 

 

“Yeah!” Patton quipped, his yellow ears flopping on top of his head.

 

      Roman rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright.” He laughed. “Let's go then.” After giving Charlie gentle goodbye pets the four boys slipped outside, pillow cases in hand, letting Roman lead the way.

 

     The candy came in the king sized variety, much to Pattons delight. The shorter boy waved hi to all the screaming children, even handing out some of his own chocolate much to Virgil's dismay.

 

     “Cmon,” the emo had muttered, tugging Patton along, hiding a sheepish smile. “We gotta go!”

 

“Oh no~, let me say hi to one more baby!”

 

“Patton no!”

 

    Overall the night was a success. Stuffy soccer moms coed over their costumes and luckily no one made a comment about the boys being over sixteen years old. Everyone's pillow cases were dragging against the pavement, weighed down with smarties and lollipops by the time they arrived home. Patton had already eaten half of his candy, unable to contain his excitement.

 

    “Slow down, you’ll get a stomach ache.” Virgil warned as Patton munched on his fifth Hershey's bar.

 

     “I can't help it!” Patton whined, stepping inside the threshold of Roman's house. The nipping cold that had seeped into his bones from being outside seemed to dissipate now that he was inside and Patton welcomed it sleepily. They had walked for what felt like  _miles_ , and he felt ready to collapse in a clumsy, lazy, heap on the floor. 

 

    “I'm saving my candy,” Logan stated, entering Roman's living room and collapsing on the couch. “I want it to last until at least Christmas.”

 

    Roman smirked as he sat next to Logan, trying to fend off his own exhaustion. “Yeah, but it never does.” Patton cuddled right next to Roman, sinking into the couch, never one to reist snuggles. The younger boy smirked as he wound his arm around his friend and pulled him in close, breathing in his faint smell of vanilla, sweat and candy corn.

 

     “I dunno about you, but I have enough candy to last a lifetime,” Virgil declared, settling on the arm rest next to Patton, sucking on a lifesaver.  

 

    “Better share then,” Roman chuckled, feeling his heart soar as he interlocked his fingers with Patton's and the smaller boy didn't pull away. Their fingers fit like puzzle pieces. “You guys wanna watch a movie?”

 

     Virgil nodded. “Yeah, but can we change in pajamas first?”

 

“Of course,” Roman replied, stretching out his legs as he got ready to stand up. “We can change in my room and sleep in there.”

 

      “Cool,” Virgil replied with a barely suppressed yawn. They all stood up, grabbing their respective bags from the front parlor, following Roman up a lofty flight of stairs. The upper floor was just as extravagant as the down stairs. Two bathrooms, four bedrooms, dog toys littered across the carpet floor and a glass chandelier glittering as it hung from the ceiling. Patton couldn't help but gape as he sleepily made his way to Roman's room.

 

     “Well here it is,” Roman smiled, pushing open his door. “Me Casa, Su Casa.” He had a four poster bed pushed into the far corner and a bookshelf on the opposite wall. Piled on his desk were mountains of scripts and a few copies of sheet music. There were fairy lights strung across the walls and posters from both Disney movie and Broadway musicals alike. “Sorry it's a little messy.”

 

“It's beautiful!” Patton cried, setting down his bag and digging his toes into the plush, fluffy, carpet. 

     “It is aesthetically pleasing.” Logan hummed, heading straight for the soft, warm bed.

 

“Dude you’re like, loaded.” Virgil whispered, flopping back on the bed next to Logan with a loud sigh and a dull thud.

 

    Sheepishly, Roman rubbed the back of his neck, not daring to make eye contact with any of them. “Yeah, well,” he muttered, desperate for a conversation change. “I’m gonna get changed in pajamas.”

 

     “I think I will as well.” Logan commented, slipping his nap sack off his back and rummaging through it to find his pj’s.

 

“Me too,” Virgil declared, but made no move to get up, snuggling deeper into the comfortable blankets on top of the bed.

 

    “Um actually,” Patton squeaked, holding his bag tightly in his fists. “Can I go change in the bathroom, if you don't mind?” Roman frowned, pausing in the middle of tugging off his jeans.

“Yeah of course Pat. Everything okay?”

 

  “Just peachy~!” Patton cried, all but running from the room in his haste to escape further questioning. Roman furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and worry.

 

      “I hope he's okay.” Virgil muttered, finally sitting up, distress for his friend pooling in his gut as he grabbed his pajamas.

 

“I'm sure he is.” The thespian sighed, more saying so to convince himself than anything else.

 

    After they had all changed and were settled on the bed, curled up around a laptop and under heavy, warm, blankets, Roman put on Halloween Town. Patton dozed off almost immediately, his small arm wrapped around Roman's chest, hugging him gently. Logan was the next to go, although he'd never admit it, with his head against a pillow and his glasses askew. Roman, however blinked blearily at the screen, determined to finish the movie while Virgil lay wide awake on his other side.

 

     “Can't sleep?” Roman asked, his voice horse and heavy with the prospect of slumber.

“No,” Virgil admitted with a sigh, squirming atop the blankets.

 

    “Why not?” Roman continued, curiously. He blearily blinked his deep chestnut eyes up at the anxious teen, the glow from the screen lighting up his entirely unfairly handsome, face. Virgil felt any resolve he previously had melt away has he looked at the stupid, beautiful, Roman.

 

“Anxious,” he muttered, quickly turning his head to look away from the modest gaze the fanciful teen had pinned on him.

 

“What about?” Roman asked.

 

       Virgil sighed heavily through his nose. “I-I dunno!” He squeaked, feeling his heart restrict painfully. “It's just… it's Halloween night. Something bad’s bound to happen.” He pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes and ground his teeth together. “So I just… I dunno okay?! I need to make sure everything's okay.”

 

    Carefully, Roman sat up, miraculously still keeping Patton's arms wrapped around his chest. “Hmmh…” he started, humming softly. “I'll stay up with you then. At least until midnight.”

 

    “What?! Why?!” Virgil snapped feeling incredibly vulnerable under Roman's watchful eye.

“To make sure everything's okay, Night _Scare B_ efore Christmas,” Roman teased.

 

    “I still don't understand,” Virgil muttered, shaking his head. Roman was obviously tired, literally about to crash any second now, his eyelids heavy with sleep.

 

“To prove to you that there aren't any ghost or demons or whatever,” Roman said but Virgil simply rolled his eyes, fighting hard to keep a smirk off his face.

 

    “I'm more afraid of burglars or people egging your incredibly fancy house.”

 

“And what-you're gonna fend them off all by yourself? Nope! N-O-P-E Virgil Deamon, you can not get me to fall asleep.”

 

“Shhh-shhh, shhh!” Virgil scolded, genuinely trying to hold back his laughs. “You're gonna wake everyone up!”

 

    Sure enough, Patton was stirring on Roman's one side, mumbling incoherently. “Shit, sorry,” Roman hissed, running his fingers through Patton's hair to try and get him back to sleep. After a brief moment of will-he or won't-he Patton finally fell back into the world of dreams, chest rising and falling steadily. 

 

    “You don't have to worry anyways.” Roman sighed. “My dad has like, state of the art security cameras.”

 

“Damn,” Virgil muttered, only a little jealous. “How do you afford that shit?”

 

     “Well, ya know,” Roman grimaced, squirming ever so slightly in his seat. “My mom makes a lotta money.”

 

“Divorce?” Virgil asked uncomfortably, feeling bad for prying but not entirely sure how to go on.

 

         “No actually… she's uh..." Roman looked away, shoulders suddenly tense despite the sleep in his voice. "She's in... Tonya Tempus.” Roman sighed again, looking down at the small lump of a boy curled up in his lap. Patton was drilling ever so slightly and he had a small cut on his arm. Roman could feel his heart beat, could see his chest rising and falling. Patton was everything he couldn't be, Patton was normal.

 

     Roman's heart skipped a beat because yes, his mom was indeed the world famous musician, who couldn't care less about her husband, not to mention her only son and didn't even visit on Christmas, not to mention forgot to send Birthday cards almost every year. 

 

    “No way!” Logan gasped, suddenly very much so awake. His glasses were slipping off his nose and his hair was disheveled, but his dark eyes were wide with wonder. “Your mom’s the Tonya Tempus?! She’s my moms favorite artist! Hasn't she been a bunch of movies?”

 

    “And counting,” Roman grumbled, watching as Patton's eyes blearily blinked open, awakened by Logans shouting.

 

“Sheep?” Patton asked with a small giggle, lifting his head from Roman's lap.

 

“No, movies," Logan muttered, pushing his glasses firmly on his nose.  

 

“Good morning to you too.” Virgil huffed.

 

“What's going on?” Patton asked, turning his head to the side like a confused puppy. “Are we not counting sheep?”

 

       “What?” Virgil giggled, covering his mouth with his hands, watching as Patton set his head back down on Roman's thighs. “No, Prince Proper just told his mom’s like, famous.”

 

    “Woah!” Patton gasped, looking up at his friend from his spot in his lap, eyes ringed with dark bags. “Your moms like-famous?”

 

    Roman couldn't help but roll his eyes as a fond smile played on his lips. “Yes like, famous-famous. She's Tanya Tempus.” Those words left a sour taste in Roman's mouth, but he kept a smile on his face nonetheless. When you're busy touring the world, making albums and being in movies, you don't have much time to be a mom.

 

      “And she's written nonfiction literature about her life, am I correct?!” Logan spoke up. He had read her book! And that was the book he had seen earlier!

 

     “Yes she has,” Roman hummed, feeling his smile dip, ever so slightly. However Logan continued to beam with curiosity and it sent a shock of electricity through his heart. He looked cute like that, passionate, even if it _was_ about the very thing Roman despised  

 

      Patton blinked up at Roman, watching him with rapt attention. He could tell something was off, from the tension in Roman's smile to the slight twitch in his eye as he fought to keep up his happy facade. Slowly, Patton reached for the younger boys hand, interlocking their fingers. “It's been such a good night.” He yawned, innocently blinking up at Roman as he cut Logan off mid tangent about something or other. Patton felt bad-he didn't like ignoring Logan-but it seemed as if Roman needed a break. “I don't want it to end.”

 

     “I dunno,” Roman muttered watching as Virgil stretched his arms to the ceiling. It was only about ten more minutes until midnight. “If it ends then we have a whole ‘nother day to spend together.”

 

    “Perhaps we could watch another movie once it is officially tomorrow?” Logan muttered.

 

      “What about Nightmare Before Christmas?” Virgil asked, with a hint of hope behind his voice, leaning back against the wall pillows. Exhaustion was slowly starting to leak through his bones and take over. He was beginning to doubt he’d make it to midnight.

 

     “The perfect movie to get us in the spirit!” Roman teased sarcastically, still effortlessly passing his fingers through Patton's soft curls.

 

        “Yeah, the movie has Christmas in its name!” Patton giggled, looking up at Roman with gentle blue eyes.

 

“So?” Logan asked, furrowing his brows in confusion.

 

     “So, in five minutes it'll be Christmas!” The smaller boy cried, smiling widely. Virgil had to bit his lip hard. He wasn't sure if he should chuckle or scowl.

 

“November first is not Christmas,” Virgil deadpanned.

 

   “Sure it is!” Roman argued, dusting his tan fingers across the freckles that littered Patton's forehead. He didn't miss the way his heart skipped a beat when the older boy gave a small giggle, indicating that the touch tickled. Roman sucked in a breath and hurried to return his attention to the conversation at hand. “It's present buying season and Christmas tree season and-”

 

     “What about thanksgiving?” Virgil asked, wiggling his toes as he stretched out.

 

“Thanksgiving is corporate bullshit,” Logan spoke up. “We almost killed off an entire race. We should at least have the dignity not to pretend we were friends with them.”

“That's fair.” Virgil agreed.

 

        “T-minus three m-m-minutes!” Patton giggled, wiggling his toes with anticipation.

 

“I vote we watch Elf!” Roman smiled widely. “It's a classic!”

 

“Wasn't your mom in that movie?” Logan spoke up, forgetting himself for a moment, eyes wide.

 

“No,” Roman scoffed as Virgil groaned.

 

“That movies too… icky. Too many feelings. How about the Island of misfit toys?” Virgil grumbled, finally giving in. 

 

     “It is not even December yet!” Logan scoffed. “Besides, I do not celebrate Christmas.”

 

    “No Christmas?!” Patton gasped, suddenly sitting up barely missing slamming his foreheadhead into Roman's chin. Luckily the taller boy had lightning fast reflexes and he flinched away. “What do you even do around the holidays then?!”

 

    “I celebrate Hanukkah,” Logan replied nonchalantly with a shrug. “It's the celebration of dedication and the oil that burned for eight straight days under strenuous circumstances.”

 

     “Oh, right,” Patton muttered, his cheeks heating up in shame as he plopped back down in Roman’s lap. “Forgot.”

 

    “What about Love Actually?” Roman asked. “Is that even a Christmas movie?”

 

“Love actually would suffice.” Logan pondered. “While it is a Christmas movie it's critically acclaimed.”

 

“I'm okay with that!” Patton smiled.

 

     “Hey guys,” Virgil spoke up from where he lay half asleep, phone in hand. “It's midnight.”

 

“We made it.” Roman hummed, gently bopping Patton's nose, who giggled in response. The fanciful teens heart melted at such a sweet sound and he fought to hide his red face in the blankets.

 

       “I am going to go back to sleep if you don't mind,” Logan yawned. “A good night's rest is important.”

 

     “Sweet dreams!” Patton cooed, snuggling deeper into Roman's lap.

 

    “Don't let the bed bugs bite,” Roman whispered. With Logan on his one side, Virgil on his other, and Patton curled up in his lap, he felt safe and incredibly warm. Like he had true, real, friends. Feeling his eyelids shudder closed, heavy with sleep, Roman began to dream of a magical kingdom and four best friends, all trying their best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this especially spooky chapter!  
> As always give PrinceLogical on tumblr a follow, we stan a beta reader.  
> And my tumblr is radioactivehelena. My instagram is radioactive.pj  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated.


	9. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman has a show coming up and the stress starts to put a strain on the rest of the group, especially a certain pappy pal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw - self doubt? None really that I can think of, but let me know if I need to add any!

     Patton carefully cradled tupperware in his lap as jostling of the bus threatened to send him and the baked goods in his lap careening to the floor. It had been another long weekend with his stepmom, spent counting down the hours until he got to return to the sanctuary that was school. Numbly, Patton swallowed down the dread in his stomach and sat up straighter, watching as the rain _drip_ , _drip_ , _dripped_ out the bus window.

 

    Last night he had stayed up late slaving over his home ec assignment, dedicated to making the most perfect chocolate chip cookies. Patton wasn't the best at following recipes and once he was done the kitchen had been a mess, but the sweets had been baked with _extra_ love.

     They had to be. On top of being a school project they were a ‘thanks for inviting us over to your house, sorry your moms so absent’ gift for Roman. It wasn't much, but it was the least he could do. That Friday had been so much fun! Patton still remembered their cuddle pile as if it was just three day's ago (because it was). He had so much fun, had felt so safe and loved, that he wouldn't dare forget it.

 

     Hugging the container close to his chest so that the cookies inside couldn't be harmed, Patton scrambled off the bus and said a quick “thank you!” to the bus driver. The rain had lightened to a sprinkle but students and staff alike still rushed indoors in order to avoid the weather. Once inside, Patton shook out his sandy, curly, hair in order to dry himself off.

     He immediately started looking for Roman's locker, easily dodging the noisy students, protecting the gift in his hands with his life. Roman wasn't that hard to spot, his locker was one of the few with a small flock of people always surrounding it, talking about this or that in loud  boisterous voices that echoed down the hallway. 

 

     However the second he saw the small crowd Patton felt his resolve start to dissipate, and his hands start to sweat. Sheepishly he started to hang back, feeling a lump form in his throat. All he could think about was how much better off Roman was without him. Roman already friends, and lots of them, even if the thespian did admit that they weren't the nicest of people all the time. But Patton would hold Roman back. He was too shy to participate in theater and too clumisy to try out for any sports. If Roman wanted to talk about his passions, his interests, Patton would fall short. And Roman deserved better. 

 

 

     Suddenly Patton felt very silly just standing there, a bright blush crimson bloosming on his cheeks and a hard lump forming in his throat. He must have looked ridiculous, handing out cookies for simply being invited over. It was selfish really, trying to buy Roman's friendship with food. He wanted to throw the stupid things in the trash, stomp on them and ruin all his hard work. It would totally be worth the F he would get if he showed up without a project. 

    "Good morning beautiful Patton!" Roman praised before Patton even had the chance to sulk away and toss the cookies.  

 

“Hiya Roman!” Patton squeaked, nervously approaching the taller boy, blue eyes wide but gentle. 

Patton couldn't help it as the blush on his cheeks worsened. He was fully aware of the new sets of eyes now turned on him, but chose to ignore in it favor of giving Roman the full attention he deserved. “I uh, um, I just wanted to say thanks for inviting me over on Halloween.”

 

“Anytime!” Roman smiled, a genuine true smile that made his dark eyes sparkle.

 

“Hey!” someone spoke up, making Patton's heart pound. The person in question was short, even shorter than Patton and had hair that was dyed a light green and tucked into a baseball hat. Patton couldn't help but be slightly intimidated by them “Why wasn't I invited over on Halloween?!”

 

“Because Kai,” Roman answered with a roll of his eyes. “You were obviously too busy fucking your girlfriend to bother spending time with your friends.”

 

“Oh yeah,” the kid, Kai, chuckled innocently, earning an eye roll from Roman. “I forgot.”

     “Hey,” another kid at Roman's locker spoke up in a soft voice. This one was wearing a grey, fuzzy turtleneck. “What you got there?”

“Who me?” Patton squeaked, eyes wide, a little shocked at being so openly addressed.

“No,” the boy teased softly. “The other kid holding chocolate chip cookies.” Patton blinked, taken aback. However there was no hint of malice behind the other teen's voice... “I'm Elliot by the way. A freshman so you uh, probably haven't seen me around.”

     "Oh yeah, um it's just my home ec’s project…” Patton said softly, looking down at said project which was cradled carefully against his chest.

“Cool, can I have one?” Kai asked hopefully, leaning forward to get a better look at the treats.

     "Of course!” Patton cried, eager to make new friends. He thrust the container at them and watched as the younger kids attacked the cookies like ravenous beasts, yanking off the lid and snatching up handfuls.

 

     “I um, I also made some extra for you-I mean-” he turned to Roman, laughing sheepishly as he stuttered. “For you, Roman. I made you some to say thanks. For, ya know, inviting me over.” Patton finished with a beaming smile and a bright blush hoping he didn't sound too stupid. But it was hard not to come off as starstruck when Roman Tempus was staring down at you with dark, gentle eyes

 

    “Oh. My. God,” Kai squealed, a cookie shoved in his mouth. “He's so pure! Roman you didn't tell us your new friend was so pure! Plus these cookies are orgasmic!”

 

Patton somehow turned an even brighter shade of red. “Th-thanks!”

 

“Dude, absolutely no problem.”

 

    “Patton,” Roman suddenly said, his voice soft and tender. His heart ached with love for his new friend as he took a step closer to him and away from the underclassmen, shielding the boy from the crazy younger kids. “You didn't have to make me these.” Patton swallowed against the lump in his throat. He suddenly felt incredibly guilty for his earlier thoughts. How dare he think such things! Roman was his friend after all! And Roman was sweet and kind and only a tiny bit more excitable then Patton himself.

 

     “I-i, well, I wanted to.” Patton whispered. Roman's heart ached with love and admiration as he looked past the boys long lashes and into his soft eyes.

 

“Dude, don't complain.” Elliot scolded, going in for seconds, crumbs already on their chin.

 

     Roman huffed. “Thank you, Patton,” he muttered, seeing as there wasn't much room for argument, reaching for one of the treats. “And you're invited over anytime you understand?!”

 

    “Yes sir!” Patton giggle, as Roman friends continued to moan over his cookies.

 

-

 

     At lunch that day Patton handed out a cookie to Logan and Virgil, frowning over at Roman who had his nose buried in school work. The taller boy's shoulders were tense and hunched over a script as he read the highlighted text to himself over again and again until it became nothing more then gargled, incoherent speech. 

 

     Patton furrowed his brows in concern and gently spoke up. "Hey Ro, want another cookie?” Patton asked gently, shaking the tubaware as if it was a treasure chest that had yet to be opened. There were only a few left, and Patton knew his supply was running low, but cheering up a friend meant more then a grade in home ec. 

    "Busy,” Roman sighed, not even bothering to look up from his papers has he racked a hand through his hair haphazardly, causing it to stick up unevenly. Patton flinched, taken aback by the thespians harsh tone and dismissive language. Sure, Patton might have known Roman _all_ the well, but between the rumors that spread about the taller teen and what Patton had learned, Roman didn't seem the type to isolate or lash out. 

“What are you working on? Perhaps I can help?” Logan spoke up curiously, looking over the tip of the book he had been reading. 

 

“Busy,” Roman spat again, tugging on his hair harshly. There were dark circles under his eyes that Patton had failed to notice before and his lunch sat untouched, not even taken out of his backpack.

 

     “Roman,” Patton finally said, cupping both of the thespaine hands with his own, forcing him to lower the text book. “Take a break hun. What's bothering you?”

 

     Roman sighed defeatedly, ignoring the racing of his heart because _oh my god Patton was close he could smell his breath_. He looked up with his big brown watery eyes. “Its tech week.”

 

“Tech what?” Virgil asked from across the table with a quirk of his head.  

 

“Tech week,” Logan elaborated. “I believe that's a theater term for the week before a show, in which the cast and crew non-stop practices a show,”

 

      “You almost made a Hamilton pun.” Roman groaned loudly, dropping his head into the book in front of him with a _thump,_ only to throw his hands up in anguish. “I’d be laughing if I wasn't so stressed.”

 

     “And what are you doing for techno week? Is there anyway I can help?” Patton asked, his voice laced his worry as he carefully rubbed a hand up and down the others back. Roman looked up with a smirk, feeling his heart flutter as he met Patton's eyes.

 

     “I just… I have so many lines to learn and the plays this weekend and I didn't prepare myself because I'm failing math so I needed to focus on that and my performance has sucked all last-”

 

     “Why don't we help?” Virgil muttered, picking at a thumbnail. He flicked his grey eyes up to meet Logan’s. The poor nerd seemed to be screaming _i don't think that's such a good idea_ but Roman sat up and smiled in response, a wide beaming smile and they all knew there wasn't any getting out of this. 

“I-I mean, I-I dunno how to act, but I'm sure I can read a few lines.”

 

“I can help too kiddo!” Patton hurried to say, and Roman closed his text book with a huff.

 

“I guess I didn't think of that-”

 

    “You don't need to do everything by yourself,” Logan said (only a lots bit hypocritically) reaching over the table for the script, which had long been abonanded in favor for the math homework Roman had forgotten to do. “Oh? You're partaking in Robin Hood. Steal from the rich and give to the poor.”

 

    Roman smiled with a  fond eye roll. It was cute play in which he got to play a dashing, if not somewhat selfish, prince. He loved his part! The thrill of being on stage, people applauding his talent, playing a different person in a different, it was all Roman wanted. 

   

     He just wasn't too happy with the rest of drama club. Elliot and Kia were the only people he could stand in theater and they weren't even actors! No wonder he had procrastinated so much. Theater kids always seemed to think the world owed them something just because they could sing. Not that Roman _hadn't_ been guilty of that, but lately he'd started thinking that he owed the world _something_ more then the world owed him. Like saving the sea turtles or making people happy. 

 

      “I'll read with you first?” Logan offered, flipping open the small book to the pages that were marked with sticky notes.

 

“Sure,” Roman sighed, running another hand through his already messy hair. Logan nodded and started reading as Patton sat back ready to enjoy the show.

 

-

 

    That Tuesday when Roman didn't show for debate club no one blamed him. Instead Logan sat there, his hands flying wildly as he went on and on about what he had learned in tech class, and Virgil sat back, listening intently, trying his best to follow along.

 

    Patton couldn't help but feel tendrils of worry tug in his gut however. They’d practiced lines all lunch period long, and even though Roman knew all of them by heart he was obviously beating himself up, telling himself he wasn't good enough. Patton had tried to boost his spirits with a witty joke and a quick compliment but even that didn't seem to help. Roman's play was in three, short days. Hopefully once it was finished he would be feeling back to his confident, boisterous, self. 

 

     If that was even the real Roman. What if the thespian hid his feelings behind dazing smiles and a perfectly crafted facade of fake self esteem? 

 

    With a sigh, the shorter boy turned back to his friends, listening to Logan rant about the techniques behind a certain computer program as Virgil stared at him, completely lost, a the tinest awe struck smile on his face. 

 

-

 

     "I can't believe you Roman Tempus!" Kai screamed across the stage, arms gesticulating wildly despite the paint brushes in his hands. Roman rushed over in an attempt to placate his friend, cheeks burning from the stares thrown his way. It was weird how much Roman loved preforming - loved and craved the attention he received from acting on stage - but hated when anyone would stare at him when he was simple, boring, Roman.

     "What are you talking about?" The upperclassmen asked with a nervous laugh, hands up in a surrender. He didn't dare get too close, just in case Kai decided to attack him with the paintbrush.

     "You told Elliot not to break up with Mitchell!"

"I-I what?! No I didn't!"

     "Then why aren't they breaking up with that scumbag?!" Roman could hear the growl growing in the back of Kai's throat. For such a small kid, nearly a foot shorter then Roman, he could be quite terrifying when he needed to be.

     "Because they don't want to?" Roman scoffed. The two of them were still standing in the middle of the stage, where everyone could see them. The cast and crew were trying to seem inconspicuous, but they were all obviously listening, waiting for a fight, or something worse, to break out.

      "Elliot told me, that you told them, that sometimes, when relationships get tough, you gotta stick it out for the other person." Roman blinked.

"I barely followed you there-"

"Mitchell is abusive you idiot!" Kai snapped, face almost red with anger. "I was just talking them out of breaking up with that dipshit and then-then you-"

     Roman's eyes widened. His stomach fell to the floor and his cheeks flushed with mortification. "I didn't know-" he started, suddenly feeling very small despite the prince costume he adorned.

"Yeah, I know." Kai grumbled. The crowd had dissipated and the dinner break was almost over anyhow.

"Kai just let me talk to them." Roman said softly, eyebrows furrowed,fists clenched at his side.

     "Talk to who?" Elliot asked, walking up behind the thespian. Neither Roman nor Kai could answer.

 -

 

 

    That Friday Logan, Virgil and Patton all crowded into the auditorium after Roman's show, standing close together watching as hoards of rowdy people swam by. It was loud and humid and stuffy. The three boys were touching shoulders as if not to lose each other to the craziness of it all as cast members were handed flowers and families said hi to loved ones.

 

     “I don't like crowds,” Logan muttered, tugging at the tie around his neck. It was _too loud, too hot, too cramped._ Everything was all just _too much_. Logan could feel the energy in the room as if they were needles piercing his body. He could hear every conversation as if a speaker was built into his head, volume on high. The lights were bright, but only slightly so, as if he had accidently looked at the sun for a second too long. 

    The only comfort was that of his friends right next to him. Patton and Virgil brought solitude. They were a constant in the sea of rowdy teenager, bustling around him, threatening to drag Logan under and drown him in a wave of unpredictable hormones.

 

     “Me neither,” Virgil agreed, shoving his hands in his pocket as he scanned the auditorium for anyone he knew. Crowds made him feel uncomfortable, like everyone was watching him, judging him, just waiting for him to mess up and make the wrong move. His chest felt tight, his heart two sizes too big as it beat uncontrollably. All of the possibilities, everything that could go wrong, it was all swimming about in his brain, threatening to swallow him whole. There were so many unpredictable opportunities in crowds. 

 

     “Look at Roman's picture!” Patton suddenly gasped, pointing to the photo of his friend in the playbill, trying to distract the other two. Virgil looked over Patton's shoulder at the book, as he caught onto Patton's plan. And he had to admit, Roman did look rather handsome smiling for the camera, striking one of his signature poses with his arms in the air. “He did such an amazing job didn't he?” the smaller boy cooed, as someone jostled past him, running up to throw their arms around a friend.

 

     “I’ll admit, his performance was commendable,” Logan commented, pushing closer to Patton as some shoved his shoulder. He couldn't help but jerk away. “The best by fa-”

 

     “Patton!” Someone cried and three heads turned, expecting to see Roman but in his place stood kid dressed in all black, smiling widely.

 

“Elliot!” Patton beamed.

 

“Did you like the show?” The teen, Elliot asked. They were rocking back and forth in their combat boots, cheeks flushed a bright red, green eyes bright.

 

     “I did,” Patton cried. “But I didn't see you in it! Who did you play?” Elliot simply laughed, their eyes sparking.

 

“That's ‘cause I was running the lights!”

 

“Woah, so you made all those pretty colors appear?” Patton gasped, eyes wide.

 

“Sure did,” Elliot giggled, awkwardly rubbing the back of their neck.

 

    “Cool,” Virgil couldn't help but mutter under his breath and Logan raised an eyebrow, watching the interaction with a strange fascination. Since when did Patton have friends? Since when did Patton have friends _who were in the drama club?_ Something foreign tugged at Logan’s chest as he looked away, biting his lip. It wasn't exactly jealousy, no he was happy for Patton, but it had always just been the two of them. Logan and Patton awkwardly making small talk and wandering through the world together. Sure, Virgil and Roman had come along but Logan had _known_ about them. What would happen now with this Elliot kid? Was he being replaced?

 

     “I'm Elliot by the way.” The kid smiled, still rocking on their heels, no doubt hyped up from post-show adrenaline. 

 

“Virgil,” Virgil muttered, head down as he picked at a hangnail. He still very much wanted to leave. It felt like everyone was looking at him, like the room was about to closing in and the ceiling was going to collapse. How Roman did it, could stand to have so many people stare at him, Virgil didn't know. 

 

“Logan,” Logan nodded, sticking out his hand to shake.

 

     “Patton!” Someone who sounded an awful lot like the Roman they’d all been waiting for, suddenly cried, throwing his arms around the smaller boy from behind in a tight, warm, hug, pulling him close. Patton gasped, his eyes momentarily going wide before he turned around in the embrace and started giggling, holding Roman with just as much vigor.

 

      “You did amazing kiddo!” Patton cooed, burying his head into Roman's shoulder. He smelled like sweat, masked with cologne. He felt warm, and safe.

 

     “Thank you so much!” Roman cried, pulling away with a bright blush on his face. “All that hard work paid off and oh! oh! Did you hear the audience clap?”

 

     “Half of that clapping was Patton,” Virgil teased hiding his wide smile while he pat Roman on the back. “Trust me, he freaking loved it.”

 

     “You did a wonderful job,” Elliot agreed, taking their own hug from their friend.

 

“You did too!” Roman sang, throwing his arm around Elliot's neck. “It was _such_ a good show.”

 

     “I’ll admit it did surpassed my expectations,” Logan muttered, pushing up his glasses. Roman just shook his head, eyes twinkling. By Logan’s standards that was a compliant. Which meant Logan had _liked_ his show! Fireworks were nearly exploding in Roman's stomach at such an idea

 

“Gee thanks teach.” Roman rolled his eyes fondly.

 

     “Listen guys I gotta go.” Elliot muttered, allowing themself to be pulled into another hug by Roman. “Mitchell wants to celebrate, just the two of us, but it was great to meet you all. I'll catch you later Roman!”

 

    “Bye!” Roman waved as Elliot left, placing his hands on his hips and smiling triumphantly. Pride coursed through his veins as he surveyed the crowd. All these people had come, had seen him perform and cheered when he had finished. Roman's eyes landed on his friends, taking in the _most_ important guests of the night, even more important then his ultimate frisbee teammates. They had come! Logan, Virgil and Patton had come and they had enjoyed it! 

 

      “Why don't you introduce me to your other theater friends?” Patton asked, vibrating with energy. “Is Kai here?” Roman suddenly felt his smile dip, but he forced it back on.

 

“He had to leave early.” Roman shrugged.

 

     “What about your scene partner?” Logan asked, inching closer to Virgil to avoid someone who was running through the thick crowd. “I’d like to discuss their character with them.”

 

“Had to leave too,” Roman sighed, rubbing his eyes and ruining his elaborate stage makeup. He felt the adrenaline drain from his bones, leaving him exhausted and hot and sweaty.

 

          “You really did an amazing job,” Virgil suddenly spoke up as if he could sense the other’s unease. He looked Roman in the eye, grey on brown, and the taller boy felt his breath catch in his throat. Since when did Virgil’s eyes sparkle like that? Roman swallowed thickly, momentarily knocked from his thoughts as he focused on the teenager in front of him. His throat felt tight and his tongue felt dry. Virgil was unfairly handsome in an edgy, emo, kinda way. “That was really brave. Seriously.”

 

     “Yeah!” Patton beamed. “It all seemed so real! Like it was actually happening!” The smaller boys smile was like sunshine after a particularly bad storm, and Roman couldn't help but hug him again, pulling the smaller boy tight against his chest.

 

“Thanks guys.” Roman sighed, breathing in Patton's sent of home and vanilla and something milddew-y. He was thriving under all the extra attention, nearly preening like a proud bird. 

 

    Virgil beamed, hiding his smile in the collar of his hoodie. He really had thought Roman had done an amazing job. The show had sucked him in and momentarily pulled him out of the real world. The play was over a lot sooner than he had wanted it to be.

 

     Roman pulled Logan into a hug, raving about friendship and the power of live theater. The nerd shoved the other teen off rather roughly, but they were both laughing sheepishly and Virgil couldn't help the small grin that danced across his face. At least, he was smiling until he saw the only person he'd ever thought about throwing in front of a train stalking towards him. Before he had time to react however, the said teen had thrown an arm around Virgil's shoulder crashing into him and causing him to nearly toppled.

 

     Virgil bitterly smiled up at his brother.

 

      “Hey V, you ready to go?” the stranger asked. He boy was wearing a dark leather jacket and had angry, red, scars painted down the one side of his face. Logan looked up at him, squinting, unable to stop staring.

 

     “Just give me a second Dee,” Virgil replied coolly, shrugging off his arm around his neck which had a snake tattoo curled around it.

 

“Alright, well, hurry up,” the older teen huffed, glaring down at the kid in front of him, a fire lit behind his pupils. Virgil simply rolled his eyes as he turned back to his friends, opting to ignore his brother. Declan could act scary but Virgil 

 

     “I have to go,” the emo teen spoke up, keeping his gaze on the floor. That way he didn't have to see the strange looks Patton, Logan, and Roman, were all giving him. Decland tended to cause that, cause people to stare.

 

     “Aww, okay,” Patton muttered, kicking the ground in defeat. “We should do something like this again soon though! Like a sleep over! A sleepover tonight!?” he asked, his excitement easily getting the best of him. He jumped from foot to foot, a wide smile playing across his face. It was impossible for Virgil not to look, and when Patton's dazzling blue eyes met his, something in his stomach exploded.

 

    Roman chuckled lowly, shaking his head. “I’d love to, but alas, I have another show tomorrow Pat.”

 

    “Awww man,” Patton frowned with a pout. “I'll come to that one too!”

 

Logan furrowed his brow. “But Patton, it's the same exact show, with the same cast, just performed at a different time and date.”

 

     “V,” Dee said, stepping forward and invading the four boys personal slade in order to get the attention of the group. "You almost ready?" 

 

     “Yeah, yeah,” Virgil groaned, shoving his hands in his pockets. “See ya guys around I guess,” he muttered.

 

     “I didn't know-” Patton started once Virgil was out of earshot. He watched as Virgil was lead from the auditorium, slowly inching closer to Logan and Roman as if his friends could protect him. 

 

“I know,” Logan muttered in reply, still grimacing at the new-comer until both he and Virgil ducked out of sight. Then suddenly Virgil and his brother were gone, leaving an awkward gap in the conversation and a pit of dread of in Logans stomach. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we got new characters! Of course I had to add the cartoon therapy gang, I love them with my whole heart. And what could Dee be up to? Also do not worry this is a somewhat sympathetic deceit story! He has quite the character ark!  
> I'm not really feeling this chapter but maybe that's just because I struggle with Roman?? Sorry it's mostly filler :-(  
> Anyways, as always, thank you to Princelogical on tumblr for beta reading this chapter!!!!  
> my tumblr - radioactivehelena


	10. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys spend a Thanksgiving together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - none really? Mostly just fluff but let me know if I miss anything.

     Thanksgiving was approaching with a rapid speed, bringing along with it the return of nosy Aunt's, lazy Uncles and spoiled younger cousins. Just the thought of it was giving Roman whiplash. Already had hallwoween and the school’s play gone by. In no time it would be Christmas and then the musical would be starting and Roman still hadn't picked out a song for the auditions! Idly, he wondered what show the school would put on this year and what part he might get, completely oblivious to the heated debate that ravaged above his head.

 

     Logan and Patton were put against each other, arguing over whether or not thanksgiving should be considered a national holiday, and Patton was losing fast.  

     “I-I guess it's important to, uh, um, be thankful for all you have!”

 

“Christopher Columbus had a direct impact on the mass genocide of millions of indigenous people.”

 

"Yeah but-but-um-you get to spend times with the ones you love!"

 

"Shouldn't you be doing that anyways?" Virgil muttered, not even bothering to look up from his phone. 

 

“Yeah,” Patton whined, his posture deflating as he slumped backwards in his chair. “I don't even agree with myself. Can't we just drop it?”

 

     Logan crossed his arms, huffing a breath through his nose. “It's imperative for one to debate for sides they may not agree with. That way they can learn how to build a better argument.”

 

     “But I'm so bored!” Roman suddenly cried, jumping up throwing his hands in the air only to fall back in his chair unceremoniously. Despite the  ridiculousness of his antics, at least he effectively gained the attention of the group. Even Mr. Sanders paused in the middle of grading papers and turned to  smile at boys awkwardly. “Can't we do something fun?”

 

    “You can participate in a debate,” Virgil teased from where he sat, diligently scrolling through his Tumblr feed.

 

“Something funner,” Roman whined, causing Logan to wince.

 

"You mean more fun?"

 

"No, you're no fun Logan!" 

 

    With a sigh, the grammar nerd fixed his glasses in order to calm his fraying nerves. “I guess here's a good enough spot as ever to stop,” he muttered. “Besides I have a question to ask you all.”

 

Roman perked up, lifting his eyes to meet Logans briefly. “Oh~?" he teased. "Carry on then!”

 

     “Even though I find the acts of thanksgiving to be… trivial, and I only celebrate it because my mom forces me to, my brother suggested that I invite you all over for a party's. A friends-giving if you may.”

 

“Friends-giving?” Patton asked, smiling widely, jumping up from his seat. “Like thanksgiving but with friends?”

 

     “Obviously.” Logan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He felt vulnerable asking his friends such questions, asking them to come over and join him to celebrating their new found acquaintanceship. What if they all said no? He couldn't remember a time when there had been freinds over at his house, or even friends to invite over. He'd always done things alone, from reading by himself on the playground to sitting in the front row of class, right where the teacher could see and the other students would leave him alone. There had been people there of course, people who offered to play or hang out with him, but Logan always turned them down. It was safer alone. You couldn't get hurt if you were alone. No one could bother you if you were alone. He was happier alone. 

 

     At least, that's what Logan told himself. And then he met Patton. They had such an awkward relationship at first, only sitting together to avoid the very thing that Logan craved. While Patton enjoyed talking, Logan enjoyed silence, and while Patton enjoyed art, Logan enjoyed math. They had been polar  opposites, only brought together because the school had branded them as the weird kids. As time went on however, Logan found himself becoming attached to the boy who sat across from him at the lunch table, almost as if he was a friend. The geek would never admit it of course, but Patton had grown on him, crazy antics and all. It filled his heart with warmth to just think about. _Patton was his first friend._ Logan wouldn't want it be any other way. 

 

       Roman stood up then, pushing his chair back with a nasty screech. “I’d love to come!” he cried. “When is it?!”

 

     “The Saturday before thanksgiving,” Logan said, keeping his calm composure despite the excitement that bubbled in his stomach. “At my house of course.”

 

     “I'll come.” Virgil shrugged, shoving his phone in the pocket of his sweatshirt  as he leaned back in his chair. “Sounds like a good time.”

 

“Me too!” Patton beamed, all but vibrating with energy. It was prehaps the cutest thing that Logan had ever seen. “I'll come too!”

 

     The nerd couldn't help the breath of relief that escaped his lungs. He looked around the classroom at his friends, even at the teacher in the back corner diligently working, and smiled. Logan had come to like (read:love) these people, adored them even. His friends made him feel safe and normal in the constant, craziness that was his hectic life. They made the deadlines and the pressure not feel so overbearing. They helped ease the tension in his shoulders and the pain in his head. Logan was internally greatful that he got to call these people his freinds. 

 

-

 

    Patton was riding with Roman, his feet awkwardly tucked underneath him as the taller teen continued to drive. The radio was playing softly from the car speakers, an upbeat song about young love or something. Patton hummed along, kicked his feet, as watched the trees pass by in a blur of orange and yellow. Soon every last colorful leaf would fall to the ground and leave the vibrant plants nothing more then bare, empty, bark. It made Patton sad to think about. 

 

      Roman sighed as he made a turn, listening as Siri listed off the directions to Logan's house. “You okay kiddo?” Patton asked, turning to face his friend, head cocked to the side in a silent question.

 

     “Yeah,” Roman muttered, forcing a smile onto his lips as Patton looked at him. Roman's hands tightening into a white knuckled grip around the wheel and his eyes remained glued to the road ahead of him. Roman was tired, he was frustrated, and he was ready to start a fight, mussles rigid and and heart pounding. But Roman refused to take his anger out on Patton. 

 

     “You sure?” the blue eyed boy tried again, his voice soft and gentle and Roman almost felt his resolve crumple. 

“Positive.” Roman replied, prehaps a tough too harshly, and he flicked on the turning signal.  

     Defeated, Patton sunk back in his seat, feeling his heart ache. He hadn't meant to pry, he only wanted to comfort Roman. “Well you know you can always talk to me,” he said, trying one last time, his voice timid and quiet, trying his best to appear as non-threatening as possible. 

 

    Roman cringed as hot, filthy, guilt pool in his gut. He'd never meant to make Patton upset. In fact, he’d been trying to do the opposite by sparing his feelings and not talking about his own stupid, issues. But if Patton really wanted to know what was wrong… “My mom’s not coming home for thanksgiving,” Roman finally said, head hanging low as they pulled up to a red light. “Sorry it just, feels shitty.”

 

      “Kiddo I'm so sorry!” Patton rushed to say, eyes wide and watery. “That sucks major butt!” he said, because what else was there to say? Patton had no idea what Roman was going through, he couldn't relate or even begin to fathom the amount of pain his friend was in. 

 

    “It does suck major butt,” Roman snapped, as he slammed on the gas, finally starting to open up. “It's like, she can't even take a fucking break for two seconds and spend time with her own son. It's not like, I love her or miss her or anything!”

 

Patton folded his hands in his lap. His heart felt heavy with compassion for the boy sitting next to him.  “Oh Roman…”

 

    “I just want a normal family ya know?! Not one shrouded in-in… fame and all this bull shit.” Roman sighed, his voice slowly losing steam. He suddenly looked so small, hunched over the steering wheel, eyes red with I shed tears. “She's never home anymore. I miss her.”

 

    Patton nodded and reached over to gently touch Roman's bicep in order to comfort him. “If it makes you feel any better I don't think anyone's family is normal… normal is just a concept made up to make someone feel better or worse about thmselves

 

    Roman nodded, blinking rapidly as he made a turn into a cozy looking neighborhood. “You're right Patton..." the thespian sigh, his voice as soft and gently as Patton had ever heard. "And so smart too. I'm glad you're my friend.”

 

“I'm glad you're my friend too!” Patton hurried to say, preening and smiling brightly under the praise. His heart skipped a beat as he looked up at the taller boy. Roman hair was pushed back in its usual hair style and his brown eyes shinned like a draviate stone under the rays of the sun. Never before had Patton realized how structured Roman jaw truly was or how strong his biceps felt. Numbly, the shorter boy pulled away, cheeks blazing red as he realized how close the two of them had been. 

 

     Roman pulled into Logan driveway then, unbuckling his seatbelt and sauntering up to the front door with Patton by his side. “I'm so excited!” the older boy cooed, willing away his blush. “I haven't had mash potatoes in so long!”

 

    Roman couldn't help but laugh as he rang the doorbell. “Don't forget the broccoli, and beans! Greens greens nothing but greens,” he sang, quoting one of his favorite musicals, wiggling his fingers back and forth. Patton giggled, his laugh as light as bells, as the door swung open to reveal Logan.

 

     “Salutations,” he muttered, fighting back a smile. “Please, come in.” Logan watched as his friends stripped from their cozy jackets and scarfs and left their shoes by the door. He still couldn't believe they were here. That they _wanted_ to come and spend time with him. “Thanks for coming.”

 

     “No problem!” Patton cried, throwing out his arms in excitement. “I wouldn't miss it for the world!”

 

     Logan showed them to the dining room, in which his mom was setting down a bowl of stuffing. “Hi boys.” She smiled. Her hair was dark as her skin and tied back in a long, beautiful braid. She had the same brown eyes and brown skin as her son, but the similarities seemed to stop there. If Logan was an oak tree, strong willed with even stronger opinions then his mom appeared to be a dandelion, delicate and nurturing but also tough enough to with stand the grabby hands of little children. “How are you?”

 

    “Good!” Patton beamed, coming around the table. “Can I help you with that?”

 

“If you don't mind.” The women smiled gently, handing Patton a handful of spoons and forks.

 

“Could you just set these around the table?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“I'll help too!” Roman cried, scooping up the napkins and following Patton like a lost puppy. 

 

Logan's mom laughed - a warm, happy sound - and she shook her head. "Now if only all these manners would rub off on you, huh Logan?" 

 

    Logan went to reply, a low growl building up in the back of his throat when the doorbell rang again. He hurried out of the room with a quick ‘be right back’ and left Roman and Patton do their chores.  

    “Sorry I'm late!” Virgil said, as soon as Logan opened the door, shoulders tense and hunched as a car horn honked loudly. The emo in question ignored it, but curious as ever Logan looked over to the car that had dropped his friend off. There was a crude middle finger sticking out the window as the van backed up and sped down the road.

 

    “Uh can I come in?” Virgil asked, rocking on his feet, hands shoved deep in his pockets. Logan blinked, his eyes wide and nodded. Worrisome curiosity swam in his stomach as he watched Virgil slip his shoes off and hang up his jacket. His friends heavy black makeup did little to cover the dark circles under his eyes and even his hair looked more disheveled then usual.

 

    Who had that been driving? Why had they done that to Virgil? What had Virgil done to receive that kind of treatment? Was his friend okay? 

 

    The thoughts that twisted around Logan's mind were rudely interrupted by his mom calling him back to the dining room. “This way,” Logan muttered, pushing up his glasses, leading Virgil towards the other.

 

    “Virge,” Patton sang, overjoyed at seeing his friend, setting a bowl of gravy on the table while beaming.

 

“Hi Pat,” Virgil said, the ghost of a smile on his lips, hands still firmly shoved in his jacket pockets. 

 

“How goes it Dr. Gloom?” Roman asked, a hint of mischief in his auburn eyes.

 

    “Good,” Virgil mused, but Logan could tell that was a lie. Virgil had relaxed since he first walked in the house, shoulders still so tense they nearly reached his ears. Logan felt something warm and thick weigh down his chest as he stared at his friend, something akin to that protective feeling his brother so often talked about swimming in his gut. It was a feeling that Logan was not use to. He could not tell if he liked it. 

 

    Noticing that Patton was struggling to carry both a jug of juice and a bowl of mashed potatoes, Logan hurried to take the latter from his hands, squinting at Virgil. The emo mess of a teen politely introduced himself to his mom, offering to shake her hand with a soft smile. Virgil seemed to be doing okay, at least for the moment, and Logan tuned out the small talk about how lovely his mom’s home was, how much Virgil enjoyed his mom's makeup and how Patton couldn't wait to dig into the food, yada yada yada. 

 

     “You have a nice family,” Roman suddenly said, coming up behind Logan with dishes haphazardly stacked on top of each other. 

 

    “I guess so,” Logan hummed thoughtfully. “My mom’s nice enough. My dad’s rather strict though, and my brothers kind of… eccentric. It can get to be a lot at times, even if my brother no longer lives here. They're always worrying or hovering over me. It is... how you might say... not good fam.”

 

Roman simply laughed at him, shaking his head as he started to set the table. “They only want what's best for you.” 

 

   “You're correct,” Logan commented, scanning Roman for any signs of teasing or mockery. However, the fanciful teen was simply staring at the way Logan’s mom interacted with Patton and Virgil, so easily talking to them and making idly chit-chat. There was a wishful desire glinting longingly in his chestnut eyes that resonated somewhere deep within Logan.

 

   He realized, suddenly, that he felt guilty. Guilty because he had a family who truly cared. Sure, Logan and his parents would fight occasionally and sure, him and his brother didn't always get along, but they were still his family and he didn't consider them so just because they had the same blood. His mom and dad and brother were always there for him and Logan knew they would always love him, no matter what. Could Roman say the same? Or Virgil? Or even Patton?

 

    “Lo,” Logan heard someone say his name-his dad-from the kitchen. He politely excused himself from Roman and pushed open the swinging door to see his father, a wiry, pale, man with a mop of dark curls on top of his head. “Can you take this to the kitchen?” he asked handing him a plate of turkey. “Then your mom and I will be out of your hair.”

 

    Logan paused, blinking up at his dad with dark eyes. “You're not in my hair,” he said, matter of factually, his voice soft and gentle then turned and headed back to the dining room.

 

    “Logan!” Patton cried the second his foot was in the door. All three of his friends were crowded around a picture that had been taken off the wall, and his mom was smiling proudly. “You never told us your brother was Dr. Emilie!”

 

      “I didn't see how it was important.” Logan shrugged, setting down the plate off food on the table. He didn't notice the way his mom rolled her eyes fondly or the way Roman stuck his hands on his hips, miffed or Virgil started at him with his jaw slack.

 

    “You two are nothing alike,” Patton giggled as he cooed at the little Logan in the picture, who looked small and tiny next to his older brother.

 

    “I know,” Logan’s mom laughed. “He was such a handsome little boy wasn't he?”

“Yeah.” Virgil smirked, looking up at his friend who blushed a bright red.

 

     “Mom,” Logan groaned, clenching his teeth to ward off the embarrassment. “We can eat now, the foods is ready.”

 

“Right, of course.” His mom laughed, shaking stray hairs out of her eyes. “I’ll be in the living room with your father if you need me.”

 

“Yeah,” Logan muttered, cheeks still inflamed as he watched her leave.

 

     “Well what are you all waiting for?” Roman asked once Logan's mom had left ear shot. “Let’s dig in.”

 

     After everyone was comfortably seated around the table, the turkey, gravy and mash potatoes passed around, Roman - unable to help himself - started going into an impossible tale, while everyone else happily ate to their heart's content.

 

     “No way that happened,” Virgil said, earning a cry of anguish from the fanciful boy who was sat across from him. “You're totally making that shit up.”

 

“I can prove it!” Roman cried, dropping his spoonful of stuffing.

 

“Then go ahead,” Logan smirked, raising his eyebrows at the challenge.

 

    “Here!” Roman said, fishing his phone out of his pocket and shoving it at Patton who was also across from him. “I told you I met Tom Holland!”  

 

“No way!” Patton said, grabbing the phone from Roman's hands to gawk at the photo. “He did!”

 

    “Let me see,” Virgil huffed, leaning into Patton's space, eyes widening at the picture. “Okay, well I stand corrected.”

 

    Roman simply shrugged. “He was in one of my mom’s movies. I've met a lotta famous people that way. It's like, the _only_ cool part about my mom's job.”

 

    Patton frowned, quick to remember the conversation he and Roman had earlier that day. Would talking about this now make Roman feel better or worse? A quick glance at his friend told him the later was true. “This food is so good!” he said, changing the subject.

 

    Roman sent his friend a grateful smile as he picked his fork back up. “It really is.”

 

    Once everyone had their full, plates scraped clean and bellies stuffed, they headed upstairs and piled into Logan's room. Virgil collapsed on the beanbag in the far corner, making grabby hands at Patton and pulling him into his lap. Logan settled for his far more dignified desk chair, right under his bunk bed, and Roman sat at his feet like a lost pup.

 

    “You have such a nice family,” Patton hummed wistfully, burying his head into Virgil's chest, feeling safe and warm. The emo teen blushed bright red, threading his hands through Patton's hair.

 

Logan simply shrugged and folded his hands in his lap. “They are favorable, as far as families go. They provide me shelter, food and love, what else could I possibly need?”

 

     Virgil snorted, wrapping his arms around Patton's waste gently. “Yeah, I’d say they're pretty _favorable_.”

 

    “At least your mom tries,” Roman huffed, throwing his head back so it rested on Logan's knee. The nerd couldn't help the red that bloomed across his cheeks, like the first flower after a particularly hard winter. He coughed and looked away.

 

     “At least you have a dad,” Virgil joked, earning a jab in the ribs from Patton who was fighting to keep a glare on his face, despite the giggles that bubbled up from his stomach.

 

      _Yes,_ Logan thought with a twist of his gut, looking at his friends with tired eyes. _At least I have a mom and dad who love me very much._

 

Patton snuggled farther into the warmth of Virgil's chest, glad for the comfort. “Actually I have something I've been meaning to tell you guys…” he muttered, voice wavering with uncertainty. He squirmed in Virgil's lap.

 

    Logan leaned farther in his seat, unceremoniously knocking Roman's head from his knee. Curiosity bloomed in his chest. “What is it?”

 

    Patton sighed and nervously played with the strings of Virgil's hoodie, feeling his previous resolve start to melt. His stomach was swimming and he looked away from the eyes that seemed to bore into him. He wasn't so sure if he wanted to continue anymore, if it was such a good idea. No really knew expect himself after all. 

 

      “You can tell us anything,” Roman soothed, scooting next to Virgil in order to put a hand on Patton's back. His voice was soft as cotton, and his gaze was earnest. “You can trust us.”

 

    Patton looked up at Roman, blue on brown, and let out a shaky breath. “Right,” he started. “Well, then, I guess-how do I put this-don't be mad okay?” He was nearly hyperventilating, rushing to get the words out before he lost his resolve.

“Patton?” Virgil said.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Take a deep breath.”

 

      “Oh… yeah,” Patton laughed nervously, breathing in through his nose to steal his nerves. He just had to rip it off, as Virgil would say, like a bandaid. “I'm transgender okay?! Like, I was born a girl, but I identity as a guy. But some days I also feel like nothing at all or in between but just never… never female…” he said, eyes squeezed shut against the onslaught of reactions from his friends. His heart was pounding incredibly hard, threatening to leap out of his chest and make a daring escape across Logan’s carpeted floor. His breath was coming in erratic gasps again. He despretly tried to shove down the tears that threanted to spill from his eyes. 

 

     “Oh,” Virgil said, gently stroking his hand up and down Patton's arm, hoping to console his friend. “That's cool.”

 

“You're still the fairest in the land to me!” Roman declared, as boisterous as ever.

 

“What pronouns would you prefer?” Logan asked, crossing his legs and leaning forward.

 

     Patton opened his eyes to be met with Virgil's gentle gaze, steadying him and holding him to reality. He felt a wave of warmth wash over him and he snuggled impossibly deeper into Virgil's chest. Here he was safe. Here he was far away from the judgmental eyes and hateful glares that he was so afraid of. “He/him is fine,” Patton said, testing out an uncertain smile. “Um, but uh, if I'm feeling more like a they/them I could tell you.”

 

    “Or I could make you a bracelet!” Roman cried. “Or a flower crown! Or-or-!”

“Slow down there princey,” Virgil teased. “I'm just, really proud of you Patton. I know that can take a lotta guts.”

 

   “Aww kiddo,” Patton cooed pressing his cheek against Virgil's chest. “You know I love you right?”

 

“Stop it,” Virgil said, cheeks flushing bright red.

 

“Viwgiwl,” Roman suddenly gushed, pushing his cheek against his friend’s. “I lowe you,”

“Ew.” Virgil pushed Roman away, careful to be gentle.

 

    Patton giggled, grabbing at Roman. “Don't worry, I'll love you!”

 

“Fair Patton, come give me snuggles!”

 

     Patton jumped from Virgil's lap and into Roman’s, leaving the emo nightmare momentarily alone. Logan looked on with a warmth in his heart, and unaware of his own body moving, he stood up and sat down next to Virgil.

 

    “You want some too, nerd?” Roman teased, and Logan couldn't help but flush bright red. His heart fluttered uncomfortably in his rib cage.

 

“I'll take that as a yes.” Patton giggled, reaching over to grab his friend’s hand. Logan smiled softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, ravishing at how small yet how perfectly the abendage it fit into his own.

 

     Virgil smirked at Logan’s awed look, feeling his own apprehension and anxiety bubble in his chest. He desperately wanted to join in the snuggles, but twisted sorrow was holding him back. Luckily Roman seemed to sense Virgil's nerves and stretched out his feet until they were resting in the goth’s lap.

 

     The creative teen happily pressed his nose into Patton’s soft curly hair, relishing in the sweet smell of vanilla and strawberry. Roman felt content to lay here with his friends, snuggled up, feeling all toasty and cuddly. He wiggled his feet, laughing at Virgil, and stuck his tongue out at Logan.

 

     Neither one of the boys ever wanted this moment to end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always a huge thank you to my beta reader Princelogical!  
> Sorry this chapter is a little late, life is stressful right now!  
> Tumblr - radioactivehelena


	11. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's favorite bully is back at it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - Bullying, blood, fighting, negative self talk
> 
> Highkey I kinda hate this chapter, it feels weird and unnatural and yeah, I dunno, but enjoy it if you can.

    Virgil stepped out of the classroom and into the hallway, happy for the much needed break from algebra two. The lesson was too much, the classroom too hectic and he needed to escape the in order to collect himself. The panic that had been wrapped around his heart in a vice grip had slowly relaxed thanks to the breathing exercises Dr. Emile taught him and he was able to calm down. He wandered aimlessly, ducking down random corders and hallways when he saw a hall monitor. 

 

   It wasn't that he was skipping necessarily… no, of course not, Virgil would never. Just the thought of doing so made him so crippling anxious that he suddenly found himself turning around and heading back to class. He had just needed a moment to calm his rolling stomach and pounding heart, that was all. His chest still felt tight from the previous hyperventilating he had done and a cold sweat trickled down his back, but he was fine now. _He was fine._

 

       Virgil couldn't describe _why_ he found himself so gut-clenchingly ill at the thought of trying to solve one stupid math problem. He hated that he got this way, too. It was just numbers! They couldn't physically hurt him! But they could make him look dumb, and feel stupid and prehaps that was even worse. 

 

      As Virgil walked down the empty hallway he desperately tried to come up with a clever idea to tell the teacher as to why he had ran from the class. Shoving his hands in his sweatshirt pockets and heading back to the room, Virgil hung his head, deciding to tell the truth. There was no shame in emotions rights? At least, that's what Patton would tell him. Besides, lying would only make him more anxious, which would cause him to have to leave the room again, which started this whole mess in the first place.

 

    It was quiet in the school. The angsty teen took soloce in it, trying to soak it all in before he had to return to his hectic classroom. However, as Virgil rounded the corner he heard a weird, whimpering and he halted to a stop. Virgil's heart suddenly leapt into his throat as he stared down the hallway. He weighed the pro and cons of booking it to the bathroom and camping out for the rest of the period, or following it and seeing what it was. Someone could be hurt... Someone could be in trouble… or it could be a rapid wolf that wanted to eat him.

 

    Taking a deep breath, Virgil rounded the corner, only to see his brother, tall and lanky, jeering at some pitiful mess of a boy on the ground. The victim was shoved towards the corner of the hallway that held the water fountain, between the men and women's bathroom. The poor kid was on the floor cowering, hands covering his face as he curled in on himself.

 

     “Hey,” Virgil said, stalking up to his older brother, his voice much stronger than he felt. “Declan, what the hell is going on?”

 

    “I heard this cunt in the boys bathroom calling your name,” his brother spat, and Virgil felt his heart stop. For one painstaking moment Virgil refused to turn around as he gaped at his brother. His hands starting to shake. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears. Then Virgil swallowed his pride and turned to see which of his friends were lying in a heap on the floor, who had followed him out of math class, who had been cornered and who was the cause of the smell of metallic blood in the air. Virgil knew, of course he knew who it was, there was only one person kind and foolish and sweet enough to follow him. He was just hoping, praying…

 

     Patton lay curled up on the floor, whimpering pathetically and clutching at his chest. His nose was bleeding freely onto the tile and his round, thick, glasses were askew. He was shaking, but other than that he looked lifeless, curled up in a tiny ball to protect himself. 

 

   Virgil quickly stood between his brother and Patton, not daring to drop his guard just yet as Dee’s hands were still clenched in fists at his side. “So you thought beating him up was a good idea?!” Virgil yelled, voice pitched towards hysteria.

     Dee shrugged, crossing his arms with a lazy smirk. “I mean, I didn't know what he wanted you for so-”

 

“So you don't beat random people up, you fucking asshole!”

 

   “Calm down,” Dee snapped, towering over Virgil and taking a threatening step closer towards his younger brother. “I was protecting you. You're new here, god knows how many shit heads are running around these halls.”

 

    “Yeah like you,” Virgil quipped, pushing his brother farther away from both him and Patton. Virgil's heart rate was skyrocketing but he couldn't back down now, not when he had his friend to look out for. “Look, I don't need your protection, so why don't you go pick on someone your own size?”

  “Aww but V-”

 

“I'm serious!” Virgil snapped. Declan smirked at him and shook his head.

 

“Oh Virgil,” he muttered condescendingly, stepping into his younger brothers personal space just for Virgil to shove him back again, hands vibrating against tallers boys chest. “You're so naive.”

 

    “And you're a creep,” Virgil spat bitterly. “If you don't leave us alone right now, I'll tell-I'll tell mother! And she’ll-she’ll kick you out!” The words tasted bitter in Virgil's mouth. He wanted to take them back the moment he said them, but it was too late now. Besides, he needed to protect Patton. Patton trumped all. 

 

    “You ruin all the fun,” Dee sighed, shaking his head. But his eyes were dark against the scar on his face and his lips were pulled back in a scowl. Virgil watched with sick satisfaction as his big brother turned and sulked away, marching down the hallway and disappearing around the corner.

 

     The second Dee was gone Virgil dropped to Patton’s side. The anxious teen was too nervous to touch his friend in fear of hurting him more, so instead his hands nervously hovered over Patton's chest, desperately looking for a way to help. “Pat,” he started gently. “Can you talk?”

 

     “Yeah,” Patton groaned, with a wince. Tears dripped down his cheeks and pooled on the already dirty floor. Each breath came in a raspy gasp. His musles were tense and his blue eyes were glossed over in a haze, as if they were broken camera lenses. 

 

     “Can you sit up?” Virgil asked, grimacing as he took notice of the color blooming around his friends already bloody nose.

 

“Uh huh.” Carefully, Virgil hooked his hand under Patton's elbow and helped him sit up, letting him lean against the walll, gently scooting both of them away from the small puddle of red that had started collecting around them.

 

     Virgil sighed heavily, and cupped Patton's cheeks, turning his friend’s face back and forth gently, examining the bruises that were starting to form on his nose and around his eye. The smaller boy simply winced in response, flinching away from Virgil's touch. “We gotta get you to the nurse.”

 

     “Did you know that kid?” was all Patton asked, closing his blue eyes with a small hum and tiredly leaning into Virgil's touch. Everything ached and he felt exhaustion leaking into his bones. All he wanted to do was sleep, maybe curl up in Virgil's lap until this pain went away.

 

    “Yeah,” Virgil muttered, “He's sorta my brother for the time being, why?” Instead of answering, Patton just nodded, and pitched forward into Virgil's hand dizzily. “Hey Pat,” Virgil asked, anxiety clear and heavy in his voice. “You gonna stay awake okay? Think you can walk?”

 

    “Yeah,” Patton said, opening his eyes. When had they closed? “I'm just… sorry.”

 

“No need to apologize.”

 

“Right, sorry.”

 

    Virgil sighed again, and with much difficulty he hooked his arm under Patton's shoulder, dragging him to his feet. “Can you explain to me what happened? Only if you feel like it though!”

 

    “Oh uh, yeah of course,” Patton replied, trying his best not to lean too heavily on his friend. Every breath hurt and he _really_ wanted to lay down. Would it be too much to ask to lay down in the hallway? “Y-you ran out of class, so I came looking for you, and-and-and I checked the bathroom, b-but you weren't in there. But Dee was and you know how those kids are. Anyways, he cornered me outside the bathroom and started yelling something about leaving you alone and how-how-how I shouldn't be in there…” 

 

    Virgil nodded, only catching about half of that due to Patton's sleepy, slurred, speech. It didn't matter though, he had more important things to worry about. Patton looked like he’d just gotten run over by a car. His nose was still bleeding and with his free hand, Patton was gingerly pinching it. His one eye was starting to darken and from the way he was carrying himself it was clear something was wrong with his chest as well.

 

    “Are you wearing a binder?” Virgil asked, looking down at his friend in concern.

 

“Sorta? One I made myself.”

 

“You should take it off. You may have uh… cracked some ribs or something.”

 

“Oh.”

 

      Once they made it to the nurse’s office Patton was utterly exhausted and ready to drop. Virgil gently set him down on one of the cots and then pulled up a chair next to his friend. The nurse had run off to call Patton's parents but not before checking over the poor boy’s injuries and giving him a bag of ice.

 

       “God, Patton, I’m so sorry this had to happen…” Virgil muttered, keeping his eyes down, glaring at the tiled floor. Hot, filthy guilt swam in his gut and threaten to swallow him whole. If he hadn't ran out of class… if he had just been there to stop his brother… then none of this would ever had to have happened.

 

      “Kiddo,” Patton said softly, catching Virgil's attention. “It wasn't your fault okay? I don't blame you, so you better not blame yourself.”

 

      Virgil sighed and looked up, reaching over to take the ice from his friend and gently hold it against his nose. “I'm just glad you're okay now.” Screw math class. Virgil had more important things to attend to.

 

-

 

     “Who dare hurt our precious, puffball, Patton?!” Roman cried, slamming his hands on the lunch table and making Virgil flinch. The rest of the day had passed in a blur for the anxious teen without his dear friend Patton at his side, and finally, _finally_ , it was lunch time and Virgil got to see some familiar, comforting faces.

 

    Virgil winced, casting his eyes down at the cheese sandwich in front of him. “Remember um, remember my brother?” he asked nervously, keeping his eyes down.

 

“The one who came to my show?” Roman said with a quirk of his eyebrows, face still contoured in rage.

 

“Yeah, that's the one."  Virgil sighed. Might as well rip it off, like a band-aid. “It uh, it was him.”

 

    Logan hummed uncomfortably and set aside his jelly sandwich. “Virgil, you are new to this school so my expectation of course is that you didn't know, but Dee is… well… he's…” Even Roman looked concerned and worried as he leaned forwards. Logan was never at a loss for words and being so was troublesome.

 

   Logan took a deep breath before continuing, feeling the stare of multiple eyes on him. “He's terrorized us for a number of years,” Logan sighed, gently pushing up his thick framed glasses. “Patton use to be a part of the art club but Dee would tease him up until he stopped coming. And every once and a while he’ll threaten me as well, simply because I choose to associate myself with Patton.”

 

      Roman's face fell and his heart ached as he stared at one of his newest best friends. “Oh Logan…” he muttered. “I had no idea.”

 

“Of course not,” Logan shook his head. “I just met you. How could you possibly know.”

Roman heavily sighed through his nose, and shook his head.

 

    Virgil stared at his uneaten food, squirming uncomfortably in his seat. “I'm so sorry L,” he muttered. “If I’d known…”

 

“But you didn't.”

 

     “But if I _did_ …” Virgil raked his hands through his purple locks harshly, tugging on them. “My moms are fostering him currently and just… I'm sorry Logan.”

 

“It is alright.” Logan smiled bitterly, forcing his lips up in order to make Virgil feel better. “Really, it is okay. People are bullies because of personal issues, or issues at home. It's nothing you could have helped.”

 

     “Right.” Virgil nodded, looking up at Logan to meet his wise, dark eyes. The nerdy boy’s smile turned soft and genuine as he continued to stare at the emo teen across from him and Roman rolled his eyes. Roman knew pinning when he saw it. 

 

     Dee had been nothing more than an annoying splinter in Logan's finger since he arrived in his life. He'd tease and make fun of him, pestering him, but never truly hurting the teen. No, Logan was far too smart for that.

 

      However, with Patton it was plain to see how the words bit into his skin and scarred his heart. The bully had quickly jumped from teasing words to even harming Patton with his hands. But Patton refused to tell an adult. Logan had tried, begged someone to help, but Patton would always shrug it off until all Logan could do was simply stand by and watch. He was useless to stop it. He felt like a child, worthless, idle, utterly and completely unable to help.

 

       But now there was Roman and Virgil. Logan looked over at them with dark, thoughtful eyes. Yes, his friends were protective. They were careful. They would be able to secure both his and Patton's safety. Logan was sure of it.

 

-

 

    “How you feeling?” Roman asked softly, taking in the sight of his dear friend Patton. The debate club was taking a day off due to the incidents of earlier. The poor boy’s eye was still bruised and turning an ugly shade of purple. He was holding a pack of ice to his nose and his shoulders were hunched as if he was just waiting to be attacked again.

 

    “I've been better,” Patton admitted with a small smile. “But I’m okay.” His nose stung and his eye ached. He wished his stepmom had been able to pick him up early, but deep down, Patton had known she wouldn't have wanted too. Exhaustion weighed deep and heavy in his bones as he snuggled up to Roman, curling into the older boys side as he made himself comfortable on the floor.

 

      “I’ll never let anyone touch you again,” Roman purred, running his hands through Patton's curls, gently scratching at the top of his head. The fancical boy almost laughed at how adorable his friend was as Patton nearly purred under his touch.

 

      “Thanks,” Patton sniffled. Today had been utterly awful. After being beaten up he’d spent his whole day in the nurse’s office not even bothering to fight back the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. Patton was use to the constant bullying and living his life in isolating that when he had the occasional run in with a bully he could bury his emotions until he couldn't even feel them anymore.

 

     But now… now he had friends. Friends that cared. Friends that scared off the bullies and gently held him until he was okay again.

 

    And after Virgil had left, (he had eventually decided to ditch math all together) Patton had broke. The tears streamed from his eyes like waterfalls as he silently choked back sobs. He craved the comfort of others. He missed the gentle, careful, tender touch of Virgil as he held his hands, and the sweet, loving, affectionate touch of Roman as he snuggled closer, and the precise, yet encouraging words of Logan as he told Patton everything would be all right.

 

     Patton was so, so, grateful for his new friends. They were kind beyond belief. They were everything he could have ever wanted. And Patton didn't deserve them.

 

      As he looked up at Roman who kept gently running his fingers through his unruly, curly, hair, Patton felt something sharp and painful twist his heart. It hurt more than the punches that had rained against his face and chest. His friends were nearly perfect. Sure they had their faults, but not as many as Patton. Useless, stupid, incompetent, Patton who couldn't even stick up for himself.

 

     “Hey Patton,” Roman whispered softly. “Are you excited for next week?”

 

“Next week?” Patton asked. His voice sounded rough and horse.

 

“Yeah.” Roman smiled. “Remember, we were gonna plan a Christmas party.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Patton laughed lightly. “I uh, I almost forgot.”

 

     “We can't have a party without you,” Mr. Sanders spoke up from where he sat at his desk, grading papers.

 

“I agree,” Logan said poking his head up from where he was helping Virgil with his homeroom.  

     “You know-” Virgil suddenly said, glaring down at the numbers in front of him, staring at the math he had walked out on. “He acts out at home but never… never like this…”

 

“And who’s that?” Mr. Sanders asked softly when the others simply blinked at each other, dumbfounded and confused. They were all just as lost as the teacher-at least-until Virgil continued.

   “Dee, my sorta-brother-whatever,” he sighed with a wave of his hands. “He’ll throw fits and shiii-stuff but all foster kids do when they first get a home. I just _don't_ understand _why_ he hurt Patton?!”

 

      Roman smirked through his nose, pulling Patton closer to his chest. “Your moms adopted the school bully. I don't think he _needs_ a reason.”

 

     Mr. Sanders frowned at Roman and set down his pen, momentarily taking a break from grading papers. These boys needed him more than the tests did. “Often times people act out when they're scared or when they've been hurt before, Virgil. Perhaps your brother is doing what he is use to. Maybe he has never known anything else.”

 

     “Yeah maybe…” Virgil muttered, looking over at Patton. He’d been on the short end of Dee’s abusive behavior before. He’d been shoved, flipped off, thrown to the floor. But Patton, he didn't deserve that. Any of that. He was the first true friend Virgil had made. And he was determined not to let any harm come to him, no matter the costs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to PrinceLogical on tumblr!! A fave <3  
> Thank you for reading, and uh, leave comments and all that jazz I guess.  
> My tumblr - Radioactivehelena


	12. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the holiday seasons!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings - mention of bruises

      Roman had been slaving over the details for the upcoming holiday party for over an hour. As the (self appointed) debate club party planner, it was his job to make everything perfect. From the food, to the gift exchange, and to the latkes for Logan.

 

     “Roman,” Patton said from the said teens bed where they had been cutting up their uptenth snowflake. “Maybe we should take a break?” Oh. Right. Patton had been so quiet Roman had almost forgotten he had even invited his friend over to help with the decorations. The bruise around smaller teen’s eye had turned a faded yellowish color and their nose was mostly healed, but they still looked away when Roman stared at them for too long, insecurity weighing heavily in their heart. Patton's movements had been sluggish all day, as if they were carrying the weight of the world on their shoulder. Or prehaps just nursing a sprained ankle. Roman had been in theater long enough to know what one of those looked like, but he couldn't be quite sure  

 

    On top of the insecurity that came with the bruises on their face it was a they/them kinda day for Patton. They were worried Roman would forget, or simply not want to bother remembering. It was a nusains when they changed everyday anyways and it was more important that their friend be comfortable then them.  

  

      “Perhaps you're right.” Roman sighed, dropping his pencil and running a heavy hand down his face. The Christmas lights blinking outside his window were shining against Patton's skin, making them look iridescent and beautiful despite the bruises. Their blue eyes shone, sparkling along with the decorations. “I have Logan giving me a gift and I'm giving a gift to Virgil! What would we even get each other?! I don't want a dictationary for Christmas!”

 

     Patton smiled a faint, amused smile and they shook their head fondly. “I don't think you need to worry so much kiddo. I'm sure whatever everyone gets each other will be fine.”

 

    “We can't settle for fine Patton! We need perfect!” Roman cried, standing up from his chair to plop down on the bed next to his friend who immediately fell engulfed him in a hug. It felt warm and welcoming and Roman melted into the touch as his hands moved to Patton's hair on their own accord.

 

    Patton wrapped their arms around Roman's waist, put their head in the taller boy's lap, and let their legs dangle over the end of the bed. They looked out the window at the lights with wide eyes from beneath their glasses, carefully situating themselves until they were both comfortable. Roman let himself sit there in a comfortable silence for a moment, an uncommon occurrence between the both of them. It was hard for the thespian to sit still. He always had ideas bouncing around in his brain, just waiting to be shared and explored and Patton only helped to trigger his creative energy. This nice kind of cozy silence between them was often unheard of.  

 

    Roman stared down at Patton, biting his lip distracted by the freckles on Patton's checks. There were so many of them… They sprinkled their cheeks like little stars and climbed up their forehead giving Patton their own little galaxy on their skin. Roman was suddenly caught up in trying to count them all, gently touching each one with the pad of his index finger before moving on. 

 

     Patton held their breath when they felt Roman’s finger start to glide across their face gently. Their blue eyes flicked up to try and meet their friends, but Roman was too focused, tickling Patton’s skin ever so slightly. Their stomach was in knots, their heart was pounding incredibly hard, but they didn't dare disturb the peace that had settled between the two of them. They could just hear Roman counting under his breath (he was on the number 48) but what he was counting Patton wasn't sure. He just made sure to stay as still as possible and suppress his giggles.

 

     Roman ghosted his finger across Patton’s nose, incredibly careful of the healing bones underneath his hand. Roman could feel the smaller teens breath against his skin. It sent shivers down his spine and kept counting until there weren't anymore to count. Sixty-seven. There were sixty seven mismatched freckles on Patton's cheeks and forehead and nose. It was adorable. Patton was adorable.

 

     Roman was suddenly swept up in the moment and he had to fight the urge to lean down and kiss each and every freckle that littered his friends skin. He wanted to feel his lips against Patton's own, he wanted to know what they tasted like, felt like, know if they were soft and warm. Roman's throat suddenly felt dry. His heart was pounding in his chest like it was going to break free. He found himself leaning forwards, his eyes closing-

 

   “What’re you doing?” Patton giggled, breaking Roman from his stupor. The fancilful teen quickly jerked away from his friend, a bright red blush adorning his cheeks.

 

    “Oh uh, nothing! Nothing just… uh, leaning over to look out the window!” Roman lied, furiously talking with his hands, almost knocking Patton from his lap.

 

“Oh!” Patton laughed, sitting up and just barely missing colliding their head with Roman's. “The lights outside are so pretty!”

 

     “Yeah,” Roman sighed, feeling his heart slowly calm to normal pace as he stared at the back of Patton's head. Their auburn curls bounced up and down as the teen pushed himself off the bed to go look out the window, their shoulders bouncing around the oversized Christmas sweater they wore as they looked on in awe at the outside world. “Yeah they are.”

 

-

 

      “These,” Logan said, turning up his nose in disgust. “Are nothing like my moms latkes. And this dreidel looks like it came from the dollar store!”

 

     “Excuse me!” Roman roared. “I invited you over to help plan the party but you declined! So now you're stuck with these shitty dreidel’s!” Virgil had to hide his snickers behind his hand as Mr. Sanders looked up from his plate of cookies, eyes wide. He looked exasperated, sitting there in his red and green Christmas sweater, but not shocked at the fanciful teens antics.

 

“Roman, please _try_ and watch your language.”

 

“Er-right sorry… _poopy_ dreidels.”

 

“Thank you,” Mr. Sanders sighed, as Patton and Virgil were reduced to a pile of giggles.

 

     “I think you did a great job with the party!” Patton beamed, taking a long sip from his hot coco, letting it warm him to the core. His shirt was blue and white and had pictures of little dogs and cats wearing Santa hats. It was old, with holes forming at the elbows, but Patton said that just meant it was well loved. 

 

“Thank you Patton,” Roman said, sitting up straighter and puffing out his chest, desperately willing the blush on his cheeks to go away. “At least _someone_ appreciates my efforts.”

 

    Virgil rolled his eyes and flicked a crumb a Roman's head. “It's not the worst, I guess.”

 

    “Aww he loves it!” Patton cooed, throwing his arms around Virgil’s neck with a wide smile. The emo teen fought of his own grin and gently shoved Patton off his shoulders.

 

    “The cookies aren't half bad,” Virgil muttered, sending a sneaky smirk at Roman. “But only because Patton made them.”

 

     “Excuse me?!” Roman cried, pushing himself out of his seat and making an offended noise in the back of his throat. “I'll have you know I worked _hours_ on those stupid potato pancakes!”

 

   “But did you bake them with love?” Patton asked, innocently batting his eyelashes. His eyes were big and blue, like the ocean right after the sun rise. Roman wanted nothing more than to never look away and get lost in them forever.

 

    “Only all the love for my friends and the holidays!” Roman cheered instead, slamming his hands down on the table trying to distract himself from how utterly beutiful his friend looked. Patton chuckled and curled into Virgil's side in order to contain himself, curls tickling the emo’s cheeks. “I'll have you know I think those are the best latkes ever made! In the whole freaking multi-verse!”

 

    Logan rolled his eyes and tugged on the back of Roman's shirt, effectively pulling him firmly back into his seat. “I think you've had too much sugar.”

 

“YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH SUGAR!”

 

     Patton couldn't help but double over then, clutching his sides helplessly as an endless amount of giggles bubbled up from his mouth. Virgil covered his chuckles with a sweater paw and looked away, turning from the group so they didn't see the laughs that threatened to spill from his lips. Even Logan snorted, rolling his dark eyes fondly. Perhaps they’d _all_ had too much sugar.

 

      Roman felt a surge of pride at making his friends so incredibly happy. He loved to see their smiling, shining, faces as they teased each other and told jokes. It made his heart feel warm and full.

 

    “Oh,” Patton suddenly cried, pushing himself out of his chair with an undignified squeak. “I love this song! Virgil dance with me please?” he begged. The anxious teen wanted to say no, he wanted to say he didn't know how to dance but he didn't know how anyone could deny that face or that _smile._ It just looked up at him with so hopefulness and joy Virgil’s resolve instantly crumbled.

 

    “Sure,” Virgil said, clumsily pushing himself up from his chair.

 

    The shorter boy met Virgil in the middle of the classroom, his eyes soft and tender as he looked up at his friend. Patton was humming along with the song under his breath as he gently wrapped his arms around the others waste, swaying them back and forth. Virgil found himself leaning into the touch against his will, despite not knowing what to do with his hands. It didn't seem to matter though, as Patton was simply happy to let the music guide them as they slowly made their way through the classroom.

 

     Virgil was dimly aware of everyone's eyes on him, everyone watching him, but then Patton's hands were moving up his back and wrapping around his neck and _oh god_ Patton's skin was so soft. Virgil allowed himself to momentarily forget the other people in the room and the fact that anyone could walk by at any second. Instead he buried his nose in Patton's soft curls and took in his familiar scent of vanilla and warmth. His smell was like a hug on a bad day and his hugs felt like coming home.

 

      Virgil wanted to take this moment with his best friend and put it in a picture frame. He wanted it to last forever, just the two of them content to rock back and forth and hold each other as the world ended around them.

 

    “What?!” Roman screeched as he watched Virgil and Patton with a strange fascination. His stomach fluttered with something that he refused to admit was jealousy. “No fair, I wanna dance too!” He then turned his bestest, biggest, brown puppy eyes he could on Logan, sticking out his lower lip for even more of a _i’m pathetic_ effect.

 

    “Absolutely not.” Logan glared, as if daring his friend to even try. It didn't matter to Roman though, as he was already hauling Logan to his feet and Mr. Sanders was turning up the music.

 

    The nerd groaned as he was pulled into the middle of the room. “Okay, what do I do?” he asked, looking at Roman over the brim of his glasses and peering into his warm brown eyes.

“Put your hands here.”

 

“Is that not the female’s position?!”

 

    “Shhh,” Roman cooed, taking both of Logan's hands in his gently and coaxing them around his neck. The taller boys fingers were cold against his bare skin and his dark eyes were staring, patiently waiting direction.

 

   “Now what?” Logan asked softly, as if he was afraid to break the quiet that had fallen between them. The nerd could see Virgil and Patton twirling around the room from the corner of his eye. Mr. Sanders had his eyes respectively glued to the papers in front of him. It was peaceful, in a strange hectic sorta way. The kinda calmness that seemed to come with a storm, the rain tapping against the window and lulling one to sleep only for a flash of lightning to strike and make their heart race.

 

    “We do this,” Roman replied with a breathy laugh and Logan felt his cheeks flush. Roman was a storm, the unpredictable crash of thunder and the pater of rainfall. The fanciful teen pulled Logan close to his chest, and the latter of the two couldn't help but blush at the sudden proximity between the both of them. He could _hear_ Romans heartbeat. It was loud and pumping perhaps just a _little_ bit too fast. Logan felt his feet stumble and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

  


     “I do not think I’m very good at this-” Logan stuttered, staring down at his feet. His hands felt incredibly wet and sweaty on Roman’s neck, certainly it wasn't comfortable.

 

     “Nonsense!” Roman declared and showed his friend where to place his feet, swaying much like Patton and Virgil who were still sweetly dancing. “Anyone can dance! Haven't you ever seen high school musical?!”

 

    “I have not,” Logan admitted and blinked down at his friend with big, owlish eyes. Roman’s heart felt like it was going to burst. Logan was easily the tallest out of the friends, towering over Patton and Virgil. But Roman… the two of them were neck and neck, _almost_ the same height but not quite. Logan still had an inch or two on the theater geek. And standing under Logan’s all knowing yet incredibly gentle gaze, Roman suddenly felt impossibly small. Logan could probably read minds with his eyes. He could probably read Romans thoughts plain as day. He could see how badly Roman wanted to reach out cup Logans cheek and pull him into a kiss and turn the nerd into a stuttering mess under his hands while Patton and Virgil cuddled nearby. He could probably see how badly Roman wanted them, wanted Logan and Patton and even Virgil.

 

       “That was fun,” Roman breathed shakily, happy that the song had ended and he pushed himself away from Logan frantically. No, thoughts like that just wouldn't do. They were friends and anything more would ruin that wonderful friendship. Roman returned to his seat with a blush on his cheeks that he couldn't seem to wipe away no matter how hard he tried.

 

     “Now what?” Virgil asked, being pulled back into the group by Patton. They were both equally red and hurried to sit down, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

 

“We could open gifts,” Patton supplied, suddenly smiling wide. He started literally vibrating in his seat with excitement at just the idea and Virgil quickly covered his laugh his hand, slipping his other into Pattons.

 

    “Splendid idea!” Roman cried, unable to help but smile at his incredibly adorable friend. “I'll go first?! Who got me a gift?!” The fancil teen wiggled his eyebrows at his friends, despite the fact that he knew exactly who had gotten him a gift. He _had_ planned the Secret Santa exchange so that it would be perfect (and so what if he got it spoiled in the end? Who cared, as long as there were gifts to give?).

 

    “Um, I did, actually,” Virgil said shyly, trying to shrug off his nerves and started reaching around in backpack. “It might not be like, perfect or anything, but I just hope you enjoy it. Also, Patton helped so it's part from him-”

 

“Oh shush kiddo!” Patton chided, his eyes wide with anticipation as the parcel was passed between Roman and Virgil. “Virge did all the heavy lifting, and besides it was totally his idea. Don't listen to him Roman.”

 

    The gift was carefully wrapped in solid red wrapping paper and had a gold bow sat atop. It was _totally_ Roman's aesthetic. Smiling, he tore into the paper like tissue, letting the garbage pile up on the floor only for his eyes to widen at the sight of the present. “Oh Virge-”

 

“It's really nothin-”

 

“I love it so much!”

 

     Roman blinked down at the gift, shaking his head in awe. The playbill from the show all his friends had gone to see was signed by the entire cast and was pressed neatly into a picture frame. Roman could easily pick out Elliot and Kai’s signatures despite the tears the threatened to spill. From the wrapping paper fell a drawing of him in his costume, sitting on the stage. It looked incredibly life like, almost like a photograph. This present was perfect.

 

    Virgil cleared his throat, refusing to make eye contact despite the smile on his face and Roman had to blink a few times to see him properly. “I know it's not that much-you could have just gotten them to sign one of your own but, uh, yeah-I hope you like.”

 

   The fancil teens smile softened as he caught Virgil's gaze. Looking into his eyes was like looking into the sky on foggy night, dark and grey and beautiful. “I love it Virgil,” Roman said, making his voice was quiet as he could for the anxious teen. “Seriously, thank you so much.”

 

     “Now it's Virge’s turn!” Patton squealed, clapping his hands together excitedly. “Who got him a gift?!”

 

“I did,” Logan spoke up, pulling a parcel from his bag. It was neatly and precisely wrapped, just waiting to be torn into. Virgil reached over the table and carefully took it from his friend, turning the gift over and over in his hands.

 

“Well open it kiddo!” Patton cheered and Virgil obliged, carefully ripping open the paper as not to hurt whatever was inside.

 

     Logan had gotten Virgil a leather bound sketch book and a copy of the book _Dante’s Inferno._ They were tied up in a neat little bow and stacked on top each other.

 

    “I've written you an inscription inside the cover of the book,” Logan said, pushing up his glasses. “One of the main characters has the same name of you, and has a certain…dark aesthetic I think you’d appreciate. The sketch book is simply because I understand you have a love for the arts.”

 

     “Cool,” Virgil breathed, opening the sketch book and flipping through the thick pages. They were perfect for watercolor and oil paints. He could already think of the perfect first drawing, one of him and his friends sitting in this very room, decked out in there respective holiday sweaters and enjoying hot cocoa. Yes, he loved this gift.

 

     “Logan~” Patton sang, a gift already in his hands. “It's your turn! Here!” It was wrapped haphazardly in bright paper and had nemours bows taped to the top. Patton was beaming with pride as he thrust the gift at his friend, trembling in his seat as he waited for it to be opened. “Cmon, cmon open it!” he cried.

 

   “I'm getting there Patton,” Logan said, straightening out his glasses as he inspected the package. It was soft in his hands, and the wrapping job was certainly atrocious. He could see little bits of blue fabric sticking out of the tissue like paper. Biting back an amused smile, he started tearing into the gift.

 

    He’d been given a blue sweater that said _let's get lit_ under a picture of a menorah along with a home made card, a sloppy drawing of the four of them on the inside. It was just the kind of present Patton would give, thoughtful but also puny.

 

     “Thank you,” Logan stuttered, folding back up the sweater careful and setting it in his lap. “It is- this is an excellent gift.”

 

“Aww I knew you’d like it!” Patton cooed, lightly swatting at the nerdy boy's arms. His cheeks were inflamed but that didn't stop him from smiling widely. Secretly, he'd been so worried about this gift. Who wanted a sweater from the thrift store anyways when you could get a brand new book and sketch pad?

 

     “Patton I believe it's your turn,” Roman said gleefully, thrusting his out his arms which held a wrapped gift with a beautiful bow on top. Patton took it like it was precious, cradling it in his hands.

 

“You're my secret santa, Roman?” he asked in awe, eyes wide. It only meant so much because he knew Roman had been beating himself up about the secret santa exchange and who would get who.

 

“Of course,” Roman beamed. “Now go on, open it!”

 

     Patton tore open the paper like an excited child, letting the scrapes fall to the floor. Inside was a neatly folded g2b binder, a pronouns necklace and most importantly a framed picture of the four friends; the one of them from the first time they all hung out together at the diner. Patton was beaming at the camera, his eyes screwed up in a smile so wide that there were dimples on the side of his cheeks. Roman had thrown up a peace sign, looking as flawless as ever as his arm was hanging over Patton's shoulders and tugging Logan closer. The nerd looked slightly distraught at being forced into the photo, but one couldn't miss the smile that tugged on his lips. And Virgil, he looked content, his hoodie hanging over his shoulders as he smirked at the phone.

 

     “Oh. My. God.” Patton squealed, unable to help it as tears gathered in his blue eyes. Roman perked up, reaching over to comfort his friend, unsure of how to help when- “I love it! Thank you so much Roman!”

 

    The smaller boy threw his arms around his secret santa and blinked rapidly, hugging his friend hard. Patton’s heart felt ready to burst with happiness, his stomach swam and there was a painful lump in his throat that was making it hard to breath. He didn't deserve these things, these gifts, these _friends_. Roman was too kind to him.

 

    Patton sniffled and buried his nose in Roman's chest, taking a quick moment to calm himself down. The other boy smelled like strong cologne and gingerbread. His sweater was soft against Patton's skin. He almost didn't want to pull away, but after composing himself he did so, and rested his hands against the strong, broad chest in front of him.

 

     “Roman,” Patton said, his voice soft and timid. “Seriously, thank you. This means so much.” His eyes shone and Roman laughed, pulling the boy in for another hug.

 

    “Way to go over the twenty dollar price limit Princey,” Virgil smirked, but he was smiling. And Roman didn't blame. The emo nightmare was just looking out for his best friend. Patton pulled away and tenderly held the necklace in his hands, looking it over before slipping it around his neck, the ‘he’ side facing forwards.

 

     Thomas Sanders watched on from his desk in the corner. He loved his students and cherished the moments like these that he got to spend with them, when the kids were able to be themselves, away from the judgmental eyes of their peers. As the teacher was momentarily lost in thought he didn't notice the group of teenagers nonchalantly making their way to his desk.

 

      “Mr. Sanders,” Patton said, his hands behind his back, a wide smile on his face.

“Yes?”

 

“We just wanted to say thank you for all you've done for us this year.” Logan as the teacher rose an eyebrow.

 

“So-uh-here!” Patton squealed, thrusting out a card wrapped in a green envelope.

 

“It's not much-” Virgil admitted. “But we really wanted to get you something.”  

 

     Thomas took the envelope, scanning his eyes across the students in front of him, meeting a mixture of anxious and excited faces. He happily opened the gift and tore off the wrapping, marveling at the handmade card inside which lay inside.

    “Virgil made it,” Roman said, quick to praise to emo nightmare.

 

“Patton helped,” Virgil said sheepishly, keeping his eyes firmly on the ground.

 

    Thomas smiled knowingly and opened the card, only for a small gift card for his favorite coffee shop to fall out. His eyes widened and quickly snapped up at the boy’s a wide smile on his face. “Thank you boys,” he started, feeling his heart swell with pride. “Seriously, thank you. This card is wonderful!”

 

      “Well we couldn't not get something for our favorite teacher!” Patton beamed. Thomas couldn't help but blush, shaking his head. These boys were going to be the death of him.

 

-

 

      As Logan stepped outside the school he was bundled in his heavy jacket, a hat firmly atop his head. The present he had received was sitting neatly in his book bag and his friends were by his side.

 

    It was strange. Logan didn't wanna go. He didn't wanna say goodbye for a whole week. If you'd asked him a couple months ago what he thought of winter break he’d say it was somewhat of a nuisances but an optimal time to recharge and come back to school even more prepared to study. Now however, he found himself despising it. He had no christmas to look forward to, only the cripplingly loneliness that would come without his friends.

 

     Those feelings were foreign and completely new. Straightened his back he shoved them down as far as they would go. He had no time for icky _emotions_. The time with his friends was fleeting and he needed to spend every second appreciating them.

 

      “Oh my gosh…” Patton whispered, pushing open the door to the school, his eyes wide. “It's snowing!”

 

“Yeah,” Virgil laughed lowly, flecks of white standing out against his dark, purple hair.

 

“Quick let's make a snow angel!” Roman cried, grabbing Patton's hand and pulling them both to the ground _hard_.

 

    Logan couldn't help the smile that danced on his lips as the smaller boy was tugged into Roman's chest, squealing an undignified sound, making grabby hands at Virgil, begging the anxious boy to join them in their pile on the floor.

 

     Yes, Logan would miss his friends dearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyye a Christmas chapter just in time for Christmas eve! I hope you all enjoyed the boys being fluffy, and have a wonderful holiday and happy new year!
> 
> As always thank you to Princelogical, my amazing beta reader!
> 
> Also, this was the last pre-written chapter for a while, so I'm not sure when I'll update next... I've been working on my 12 days of Christmas micros fics, but after that I'll be working on this fic again. 
> 
> Sorry this is mostly filler, but at least it's fluffy! 
> 
> Thank for reading!!  
> Tumblr - radioactivehelena


	13. thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is all invited over to Virgil's for a snow day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings - swearing, mentions of being orphaned and abuse

    Virgil sat at the kitchen island, watching as his mom layered the upteenth pancake on his plate. Nessy sat next to him, just barely reaching the counter as she shoveled food into her mouth, clad in bright pink pajamas and messy bed head. The eldest of the foster siblings- Toby -who had recently started his junior year in college was visiting home. He held the baby close to his broad chest, gently cooing at him in the other room. 

 

     “So,” Virgil's mother asked, stepping into the room and planting a quick kiss to the top of her wife’s head before heading to the coffee maker. “When are your friends coming over Virgil?” 

 

    “Uh, noonish.” Virgil shrugged, quickly shoving his mouth full of food. He had invited the whole gang to hang out at his house, maybe watch a movie or something. He’d expected them to say no, to leave him on read, but instead they all said yes. He hadn't believed it. His stomach had swooped as he had sat in front of his Christmas tree and realized he had friends who cared enough to hang out with him outside of school. That he was no longer just the tag along, the person they invited over because they’d feel bad if they didn't. 

 

     Apprehension continued to fill Virgil's gut, however. There was still time to cancel, to just not show up, or even worse, for some kind of an emergency to happen that made them unable to come. 

 

    “Well, I can't wait to meet them,” his mother said, taking a seat next across from Virgil at the kitchen counter, greedily sipping from her mug. 

 

“Yeah.” Nessy smiled, waving around her fork. “That one boy was cute!” 

 

    Virgil snorted as he fought hard not to laugh, blushing furiously as both his moms looked over at him with raised eyebrows. “Yeah-uh-whatever?” Virgil muttered, refusing to make eye contact with anyone because  _ ohmygod  _ Roman was so hot even his little sister thought so. 

 

     “What are you boys gonna do?” Emily asked, sitting next to her wife, smiling softly at her children. 

 

    “God mom,  _ I dunno, _ ” Virgil snapped, slightly exasperated that his younger sister had unknowingly almost told his parents about his not so subtle crush on his friend. God if they found out… how would they even give Virgil  _ that _ talk? He couldn't help but shudder at the idea. 

 

    On top of that he was incredibly nervous for later today. Virgil couldn't help but be glad that he was able to talk to his parents like this, like he was a human, even if there were still secrets between them. He still remembered when he was first brought into Emily's and Tanya’s life at the ripe age of nine years old. He remembers the fear, the ringing in his ears as he waited to be hit when he dropped something or smacked when he said something out of line. His still remembers shock of warm, loving arms embracing him after a particularly bad nightmare. He still remembers the first time they were mad at him, their faces filled with disappointment, but not anger. The family dinners, the late night talks, the impromptu cuddle piles. Virgil wouldn't trade any of it for the world. He would take all the abuse he’d suffered and more just to keep his little family safe. 

 

    Other foster kids had come and gone. If they truly didn't want to stay, then Tanya and Emily didn't make them. But Virgil, he couldn't ever imagine leaving. He loved Toby who had teased him just like older brothers do, but protected him fiercely when his panic attacks acted up. And he loved Nessy, ever since he first laid eyes on the babbling toddler who couldn't stop giggling despite herself. Even Dee, who would throw fits and smash plates had his moments of kindness where he’d hold the little ones and calm their crying. And of course, Virgil loved Tanya and Emily. They were… a little eccentric, but full of  _ so _ much. More love than Virgil believed he deserved. 

 

    There seemed to be an understanding between them-the siblings and parents. That the past had been shitty, and despite the fact that it was better now, things were never going to be easy. But at least they would have each other. 

 

    “Okay, okay,” Emily said with a light laugh, raising her eyebrows as if asking a silent question;  _ you okay?  _ Virgil just shrugged in response, lowering his head in shame. He hadn't meant to snap. 

 

     Toby, his older brother, stepped into the room, and ruffled Virgil's hair. He’d grown since Virgil had seen him last summer. His hair was dyed bright yellow and was shaggier now. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles that could rival Virgil’s and he’d stopped wearing his contacts around the house, opting for Harry-Potter-esc frames instead. “Geez kid, deep in the punk-ass phase are you?” he teased. 

 

“Hey!” Tanya-their mom-snapped. “Not in front of the kids!” 

 

“What does ass mean?” Nessy asked, turning to look at Virgil with an adorable quirk of her head. 

 

    Toby snickered as he dodged a glare from his parents and Virgil's eyes widened, unsure of how to answer that question. “Um-uh-” he stuttered. 

 

“It's a mean word baby,” Emily said sweetly, not taking her eyes off her eldest son. “One we don't repeat and one we most  _ definitely _ don't say in school okay?” 

 

    Nessy nodded, her red curls bouncing as she did so. “Okay mommy, no ass!” Virgil burst out laughing and Toby ran from the room, only for Tanya to follow, mostly likely to punish him with a lecture and a bone crushing hug. 

 

    “No, Ness,” Emily tried again. “That words a secret word okay? It's one we don't repeat.” 

“Like all of Dee’s and Virgil's and Toby’s secret words?” The Elementary schooler asked and the mom huffed out a sigh. 

 

“Yeah, like that.” 

 

     Ever since taking Dee in, things had been difficult to say the least. He seemed to have a reputation at the school, and struggled to get along with his siblings. But Emily wasn't going to give up on him, not yet. She never denied a child in need, and if there ever was one, it was this boy who lied and lashed out at others in order to protect himself. 

 

     “I'm gonna go get ready, alright mom?” Virgil asked with a tired sigh, standing up and slipping his dish into the sink. 

 

    “Of course honey.” Emily smiled, watching as her son turned the corner and headed up the stairs. 

 

    As soon as Virgil was in the comfort of his room he closed his door and relaxed against the rough wood. It wasn't that he didn't love his family, he really, truly, did, but he was terrified for later today and he didn't wanna end up doing something embarrassing like having a panic attack in front of his younger sister again. 

 

    Virgil went and sat at his desk, flicking on his fairy-lights that cast a comfortable purple glow around the bedroom. On the other side of his room was his bed, striped comforter haphazardly thrown across it. There were band posters and even some of his own art plastered across the light grey walls. Then there was a photo of all his friends and him from thanksgiving, smiling widely at camera in a picture frame on his desk. He loved that photo. Everyone seemed so genuinely happy, even himself. Roman had demanded he take it for his Instagram and Virgil had begrudgingly agreed. He was glad he did. 

 

    With a sigh, Virgil pulled out his sketch pad and started to draw said photo. Time blended together as lines and scribbles slowly started to resemble actual humans and by the time the doorbell rang Virgil had what looked like the beginnings of people huddled together. 

 

    “I'll get it!” Toby sang and the anxious teens eyes widened. Like hell he was letting his older brother greet his friends. Toby would probably greet them with some outdated meme or something equally as cringey. 

 

     “Just wait I'll be there in a minute!” By the time Virgil had flung himself down the stairs, Toby had already opened the door, Nessy shyly peeking out between his legs. Roman was shaking the older boy’s hand while Patton was leaning down in order to wave hi to the little girl. 

 

    “Thanks but I can take it from here,” Virgil grumbled, glaring at his brother from under his bangs. The older male simply ruffled Virgil's purple locks, much to his dismay, and headed upstairs. 

 

“You boys have fun!” he called, as if he was a Dad and not a college student studying meteorology. Nessy followed him, stumbling in his wake. 

 

   Virgil just rolled his eyes, turning to face both Roman and Patton, who were decked out in heavy jackets and hats. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled sheepishly, letting them both inside. 

 

    “Oh, it's no biggie!” Patton sang, stripping of their leather boots to reveal thick, wool, socks. Their pronoun necklace was flipped to the they/them side and they wore a blue, knit sweater. “I wish I had siblings.” 

 

    Virgil sighed, leading his friends into the living room and plopping down on the arm of the couch. “They're kinda a pain in the ass, but, like, they're my pain in the ass,” 

 

“What I wouldn't do for a little sister.” Roman sighed dreamily, coming to sit on the other side on Virgil just as the doorbell rang. 

 

    The emo nightmare jumped to his feet before Toby could answer the door again, muttered a quick goodbye to his friends and disappeared into the front parlour. Opening the door, he was pleased to see Logan, decked out in the new sweater Patton had gotten him despite the fact Hanukkah was long over. 

 

    “Hey L,” Virgil smiled softly, letting his friend inside. 

 

“Greetings Virgil. How was your Christmas?” 

 

    “It was good, it was good.” He laughed, feeling a smile crawl onto his lips against his will. Only Logan would be considerate enough to ask about his Holidays even if he himself didn't celebrate them. 

 

    Virgil took Logan into the living room only to freeze when he saw Nessy being bounced on Patton's lap. The young girl was laughing and giggling as Patton made silly faces and sang songs, both of them having the times of their lives. Neither Virgil nor Logan missed the way Roman was snapping photos on his phone like a love sick puppy. He’d have to ask for those later. 

 

    “Alright, alright,” Virgil grumbled, coming in to stand in front of Patton in able to pick the first grader up. “Time to go play with mom okay?” Virgil slipped his hands under the child, and started to pick her up. 

 

    Nessy suddenly let out an ear shattering scream and pitched forward in able to grab hold of Patton’s sweater, wrapping her tiny fingers into the soft material. “No! Ass you Virgil!” 

 

     Virgil's eyes widened and he dropped the kid back on his friends lap, only for her to cuddle into Patton's chest with a loud sniffle. Roman had a hand over his mouth, trying to stifle his giggles, and Logan’s eyebrows were raised in a silent question. Patton looked positively furious. They shushed the crying child and glared up at Virgil, asking a silent question 

 

_ Who taught her that word? It better have not been you, mister.  _ Their disappointment was clear in the way they furrowed their eyebrows and pursed their lips. 

 

   “I uh, I guess you can play with us,” Virgil stuttered, completely dumbfounded, blinking in shock because Nessy had just sworn at him that  _ little punk _ . And like  _ hell _ he was letting his kid sister hang out with them, not when Roman couldn't go a second without making a dirty joke. He just needed to find a scapegoat and quick. 

 

    “Yes she can,” Patton scolded, bouncing Nessy on their knee in order to help calm her down. They ran their fingers through her curly locks and the child leaned into Patton's touch. Despite the shock of the situation, Virgil almost wanted to gag at Roman's puppy eyes. God, he was so obviously in love. 

 

     Luckily Virgil's mother slipped into the room just then, raising her eyebrows. Talk about perfect timing. “Hi boys.” She smiled. 

 

“Hi Mrs. Deamon,” came a chorus of replies. The older lady smiled, shaking her long, silk, hair into her eyes. 

 

“Please, call me Tanya,”

 

    “Of course Tanya,” Roman said, jumping up and offering her his seat with a flourish. Virgil smirked at his boisterous friend. God what a nerd. 

 

    “What are you doing here?” Tanya asked, leaning into Nessy’s face and gently kissing her nose. “Shouldn't you be leaving these boys alone?” 

 

    “Please mom,” Virgil begged. “Take her away.” Patton pouted, and Nessy shook her head, but let her mom gently slip her into her arms. 

 

“Cmon Ness, let's leave Virgil and his friend alone, okay?” As she walked up the stairs Patton deflated into the couch cushions It almost made Virgil feel a little guilty. Almost. 

 

     “So what's the plan, fam?” the fanciful teen asked, taking back his seat, and stretching out his long limbs and looking up at Virgil expectantly. 

 

“Uh, I guess we could watch a movie or play a board game or go outside for a-”

 

“Yes!” Patton cried, animation suddenly coming back alive in their small body. A smile lit up his face. That was more like it. “We could play in the snow!” 

 

   Logan frowned, pushing up his glasses. “Playing in the snow leads to hypothermia and pneumonia.” 

 

“And what do you think jackets are for?” Roman quipped, crossing his arms over his chest. He had obviously made up his mind, and scooted closer to Patton as they both got ready to hold their ground. 

 

    “I suppose you're right,” Logan hummed, “as long as we don't stay out too long.” Virgil nodded. 

 

“And we all wear hats and mittens.” 

 

    “Yes!” Roman cheered. “Let's fu-”

 

“Roman! Children!” Virgil quickly scolded, not ready for another ‘ass’ incident. 

 

“Freaking go!” 

  
  


-

 

     Logan laid in the snow, cold seeping into his sopping wet jacket and freezing him to the bone. He could hear the others taking staggered breaths as they relaxed from the snowball fight they’d all just had, come down from the adrenaline high. 

 

     “That was fun!” Patton smiled, their head resting on Roman's chest. 

 

“Only because we won,” the theater geek joked, offering Patton a gloved hand for a high five. 

 

“I wouldn't call falling face first into the snow winning,” Logan remarked, but there was no malice behind his voice. 

 

    “Sometimes there are casualties in war,” Roman replied, his voice as dramatic as possible, drawn out and incredibly silly as he threw a hand over his brow. Logan kinda wanted to punch him in his stupid face. Or maybe hold his hand. He wasn't sure which. 

 

    “Ah yes.” Virgil smirked. “Rest in peace Roman. He died a shameful death at the hands of Logan Picani. We will not remember him.” 

 

    “You’ll die a shameful death!” Roman screeched, suddenly jumping on top of Virgil and pelting him with the surrounding snow. Virgil yelped, and tried to push his friend off, but his hands were pinned to his side, and suddenly he was getting a face full of cold, chuckling at Roman's contagious laughter. “Take that frosty the snowbitch!” 

 

    “Roman!” Patton scolded, grabbing Roman around the waist, and pulling him off Virgil with a huff and a giggle. “Play nice!” 

 

“I'm already on the naughty list!” Roman teased, but bregudling let Patton drag him away as Virgil wiped his face and tried for his best glare towards the fanciful teen. Ultimately, it failed with the snow dripping down his forehead and freezing to his eyebrows. Patton couldn't help but aww at him. 

 

      “Alright kiddos, I think it's time we go inside for some hot chocolate.” 

 

    They all clambered inside, stripping their wet clothes and letting them hang in the parlor to dry. Virgil plopped down on the couch, with Patton and Roman following suit while Logan settled for the floor at Virgil's feet. 

 

    “Virgil,” Roman groaned, throwing his legs across the two of them, causing Patton to let out giggles that were unfairly adorable. “We need hot cocoa,” 

 

“Need?” Virgil asked, with a raised eyebrow and a sarcastic smirk. 

 

“I believe you are confused Roman. A need is a necessity, like food, water, and a roof over your head,” Logan started, watching as Patton frowned, and rested their head on Virgil’s shoulder, looking utterly exhausted  “A want is something like, a bike presay, or a new pair of shoes.” 

 

    “Naw teach, I'm pretty sure hot chocolate is a need,” Roman teased, nudging the back of Logan’s head with his foot. “Like, I  _ need _ chocolate with marshmallows and whip cream and sprinkles and-”

 

“You guys are impossible,” Virgil groaned, throwing both Logan, Roman and Patton off of him, and heading towards the kitchen. “If you want any, then hurry up.” 

 

    “Yes!” Roman cheered, coming to lean against the kitchen counter and watch as Virgil worked. His hands moved effortlessly around the cupboards, pulling down the cocoa powder, taking out the milk, and even adding in a block of a candy bar before depositing the whole thing in the microwave. “Got a real system there huh?” Roman asked with a fond smile as Virgil came to stand across from him. The artist simply shrugged. 

 

    “That's how my mom’s made it for me the first time they brought me home,” he mumbled, not quite looking at Roman, as if he was remembering something that had past long ago. “Now anytime we have a movie night, or it's just a bad day, we make hot cocoa.” He shrugged, and with an adorable blink that sent Roman's heart hammering he returned to the present. “Move after move, house after house, we’ve always had this stupid hot chocolate recipe.” Virgil snorted, some inside joke Roman would never get, but as long as it made Virgil happy, he didn't care. 

 

    “What about you?” The emo nightmare asked just as the microwave dinged. “Have any secret respeices you're keeping from us?”

 

    Roman’s face fell and he was, happy that Virgil couldn't see his frown as the kid was pulling out a spoon and mixing the concoction together. “Naw.” He shrugged. “I like the stuff out of the package’s just fine.” 

 

“Boo!” Virgil cried, mug in one hand as he started digging through the refrigerator. “No way you, Roman Tempest, drama queen of all drama, would settle for the shit out a paper package!” 

 

     Roman just shrugged, watching as Dee stepped into the room and sloppily cut Virgil off before he could finish looking for what he wanted in the fridge. It suddenly smelled like sweat and ash and  _ alcohol _ . 

 

    “Hey!” Virgil snapped. “How about an excuse me?!” Dee raised a tired eyebrow, the monster energy drink he had come for in one hand and just stared for a solid second before he smirked and head into the dinning room. 

 

    “God I hate that kid,” Roman growled, shaking his head. “I would totally beat him up if he wasn't your brother.”

 

“Yeah, well, he’s not my brother. Not really.” Virgil slammed a can of whip cream on the counter next to Roman, but still careful cradled the mug in his opposite hand. “Besides, he’s probably too shitfaced to fight anyone right now. Give me a sec, I gotta find the marshmallows.” 

 

     “I'm sorry you have to live with him,” Roman said eventually with a sigh. And he truly was. Virgil's mom’s had been nothing but kind to him. Nessy was an adorable little princess, and while Roman knew little about Toby, he didn't seem that bad. None of them deserved to have a drunk, reckless, teenager caravaning their lives. 

 

     “I'm-” Virgil started, finally pushing a steaming hot mug over to Roman, five marshmallows floating on top. “I’m sorry your moms not around that much. So, I guess we’re even?” 

 

    Roman smiled, taking in Virgil's slumped poster and messy hair. He’d lost the sweatshirt after coming in doors, and was sporting a shirt with Vincent van Gogh's  _ Starry Night _ printed across the front. He looked a little vulnerable without his normal jacket, but not unlike himself. This must have been the Virgil that Toby and Ness and even Dee got to see when they weren't in the company of others. The side of Virgil that wasn't buried under layers of self esteem issues. It was… nice that Virgil allowed himself to be  _ himself _ in front of the others. 

 

      “Yeah, we’re even.” 

 

“Good, because now you owe me for this hot cocoa.” Virgil joked, finishing it off with a mountain of whip cream and disappearing back into the living room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! A huge thank you to Princelogical on tumblr for beta reading this chapter!!
> 
> Again, sorry it's mostly filler but there is some major foreshadowing in there. 
> 
> Tumblr - radioactivehelena


	14. fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is bad at feelings. Roman is bad at math. They help each other out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings - swearing, self depreciating thoughts?? It's a pretty easy going chapter  
> And thank you to Princelogical on tumblr for beta reading!

    The only class, besides lunch, that Roman and Logan shared together was gym. It was an interesting class for the junior who had chosen all his electives based on their intellectual strain, and the type of colleges he wanted to attend. However gym was required by the state, and therefore he legally had to attend. Logan saw why it was necessary, and he didn't mind the extra exercise in order to improve his body and mind, but for someone who thrived in his computer tech, math, science, and even english classes, it stung to be… below average. 

    Especially watching as Roman was picked first for nearly every sport and finished his mile in a matter of minutes. The only reason Logan  _ wasn't _ picked last was because most teens would go for the lanky, and awkward over the fat and clumsy. For Logan, it was weird not to be the best. Even weirder was the jealousy that came along with it. 

      “So extra-pedia.” Roman smiled as he jogged up to Logan, heading towards the locker room. “I had a question I wanted to ask you.” 

“Oh?” Logan raised an eyebrow, watching the perspiration drip from Roman's forehead like rain. He kinda smelled of sweat and dirty socks… luckily they had gym last period, and Logan wouldn't be sticking around long enough to have to bear it long. Roman's hair stuck to his forehead and his cheeks were flushed, his chests raising up and down steadily. Logan felt his heart rate speed up and he blamed it on the basketball game they had just finished playing. Roman's team had won. Logans team had lost, epically. 

    Logan didn't see how the theatrical teen could need his help in anything gym related. He was already toned and muscular from the choreography he had to learn from past musicals. If anything,  _ Roman _ should be teaching  _ Logan _ . The later frowned at the thought. 

    “It's the algebra midterm,” Roman sighed, stopping at his locker and throwing off his shirt. Logan tried hard not to stare at Roman's back, the way the muscles moved and twitched as he reached for his sweatshirt. Logan quickly averted his eyes as he fumbled with the lock on his own locker, feeling his cheeks heat up with something that could only be a post-workout buzz. 

      “I'm already failing the class, I don't understand anything the teacher says, and I need to pass to be in the musical, and Patton told me you were in like, AP math or some shit, so, I was just hoping, I dunno? Maybe-”

“Yes,” Logan cut Roman off, straightening out the collar of his forest green polo, his back turned his friend. 

    Roman's eyebrows rose into his hairline, and he froze in the middle of pulling up his pants, as if he forgot he was even doing so in the first place. Logan found it adorable, in a totally platonic type of way. “Huh?” 

“Yes, I’ll help you study.” 

    Roman blinked, as if he expected Logan to say no, and then a radiant smile that could rival the sun broke out on his face. “Wait-really?!” he asked, brown eyes wide and hopeful, like a dog begging. 

“As long as you pull up your pants,” Logan said, turning back around. 

“Huh?-Oh! Shit right, thank you so much!” 

 

-

 

    They met up at Roman's house because arguably, it was the quietest, aside from Charlie. But the big fluffy dog was tucked upstairs in Roman's room, with lots of bones and toys to chew on where it couldn't bother Logan. Not that he was afraid of the pup… no… he was just an unnecessary distraction. 

    “Are you sure I don't need to pay you for this?” Roman asked as they sat in his dining room, papers and books scattered across the table. 

“I am sure.” Logan nodded. “Not only will it be beneficial for you to look over the algebra, but it will help me study as well. Now, did you pick up the extra credit packet from your teacher?” 

     “Yup,” Roman sighed, popping the p and rummaging through the homework he had unceremoniously dropped on the table. 

“Good,” Logan hummed. “And you started it yesterday?” 

“Yes  _ Mom.”  _

    “Very funny, but I am not your mom, nor am I a female.” Roman shook his head fondly. He couldn't help the dumbfounded smile he gave his friend. “How far did you get?” 

“I got stuck on question one.”

    Logan laughed, a startled breathy little thing that bubbled up from his chest uncontrollably. “Surely you are not serious?” 

“I'm-it's not funny!” Roman snapped, shoving the sheet towards him. Logan carefully looked it over, dark eyes skimming over the problems. An attempt had been made at number, but no answer had been found. The same was true for number two, three and four, while the rest of them were blank. 

    Logan sighed and pursed his lips, looking over his glasses as Roman slumped over in his chair. “I'm just shit at math okay?! English and social studies I get but-numbers aren't my thing. And they never will be! So I’ll just fail algebra two over and over again-see if I care?! I don't even need this shit.” 

     Logan’s heart stuttered. He’d never seen Roman so vulnerable before, not even when talking about his mother. This was new. This was not the confident, courageous, Roman that Logan was accustomed too. And Logan did not know what to do. 

   While Roman may have been able to understand the wits and woes of  _ Hamlet _ or  _ Romeo and Juliet _ Logan was much more of a facts and statistics kinda guy. The only class that he was taking that was not AP was English (and gym). Trying to comfort someone, understand  _ feelings _ , just wasn't something he had ever been good at. 

    Yet here was Roman, looking so very small and so very tired, sitting in front of him and needing comfort. Logan couldn't rely on Patton or anyone else to do the job for him. There was only himself. 

     “Uh, Roman.” Logan blinked, actively avoiding eye contact. His cheeks felt too hot and his grey pullover suddenly felt constricting. “Aren't there other things you're good at?” 

    “Yeah, so?” Roman snapped, but Logan quickly forgave him. He was upset, after all and Patton was always saying forgiveness was important. 

“Being bad at something, like math per se, does not devalue your worth. You are still good at theater, at English, and at cheering people up.”

    Roman frowned, furrowing his brows as he turned to look at Logan with inquisitive deep brown eyes. “Yeah, but, what does that have to do with passing math?!” 

     Logan took a deep breath, tried to steady himself. “I guess it does not, however we all have our strengths and weakness.” Logan followed Roman's adam apple as the other boy swallowed. “Math is simply not your strong suit. You excel at other things. I've  _ seen _ you excel at other things. Your performance in the school play was exceptional and you have a certain charm to you that… others seem drawn to.” 

    Roman was silent for a second, and Logan let his eyes drift towards the other man's neck, then his lips, eventually settling on the coffee brown that stared back at him so earnestly it made Logan’s heart skip a beat before quickly looking away again. “You… you truly believe that?” Roman whispered, as if afraid to break the comfortable silence laced with tension and longing that had settled between them. 

     Now it was Logan’s turn to be confused. He pursed his lips. “Of course. Everyone likes you, even if you can be a bit loud sometimes.” 

“Extra.” 

“Huh?”

    “Extra. The word is extra.” Roman smiled, but it wasn't condescending, just a little bit forced. “Besides you're wrong Count Calculator. My Mom ignores me, my Dad pities me and the theater kids are jealous of me because I always get the leader role. And-and just because I'm good at one thing doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to understand math.” 

     Logan frowned, and straightened his glasses. He wanted to do something foolish like reach across the table and take Roman's hand, but he didn't want to overstep any boundaries. “While I do not know your mom, your dad, or your theater friends, I do doubt that's how they see you, based on how you’ve interacted with Patton, Virgil and I.”

“Yeah but-”

    “I wasn't finished. You made a good attempt with these first few problems. It shows that you are willing to learn. And I am willing to teach, if you will let me.” 

    Roman shook his head, letting out a sad excuse for a laugh. “Well what else are we here for?” 

    “To talk about your feelings I suppose.” That got Roman actually laughing, his whole face lighting up like the city skyline when the power had just been turned on after a particularly bad black out. His laugh was whole, and present. Logan wanted to bottle some of it and keep it for later, but he knew how easy it was to make Roman chuckle and how selfish that would be. The whole world deserved to hear just how beautiful Roman truly was

    “Uh, one more Dr. Dictionary,” Roman started, suddenly very serious. Logan nodded, trying to will away the warmth on his cheeks like he had never lost his composure at all. “Could you not tell Patton or Virgil about this? I just-I don't want them to think less of me.” 

    “Of course,” Logan replied, swallowing against the lump in his throat. “But if it's any consolation, I do not think less of you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the chapter's so short and it took so long coming out, hehe... I've been feeling kinda burned out lately, especially with school stuff but we'll see how that goes!  
> Anyways, thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated!


	15. fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets secrets are no fun unless they're shared with everyone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW STORY NAME  
> Yeah I just thought Human fit it better then "Connecting the Cracks" like, ew, the old one was highkey gross. I stole the name from a song by Dodie Clark so you should totally check her out and listen to the song :'-)  
> Trigger Warnings - Swearing, but that's pretty much it. Roman gets mad.   
> Thank you to Pricelogical on Tumblr for beta reading this chapter!

    “That was awful,” Patton said to Roman with a groan as the two of them walked into debate club. He threw down his bag and collapsed into a chair in the science teachers classroom, a mess of dirty blonde curls falling into his tired eyes. 

“It wasn't that bad.” Virgil shrugged, looking up from his sketchbook, already settled in the bean bag chair in the corner. His pencil lightly scratched across the page and Patton fought to stay awake. 

 

     “Oh please Emo-nescence,” Roman spoke up, settling in next to his sleepy friend. “I saw you have a panic attack at least twice. You were crying over to kill a mockingbird and not because of the plot.” Virgil's cheeks turned redder than Roman’s Converse and he looked away, blowing out an exasperate huff. 

 

“Yeah, well, at least I care enough to pass math,” the angsty teen snapped. 

 

    Roman blinked, slightly taken aback by the comment. Had Logan gone behind his back and told his other friends about his mathematical struggles? “How do you know about that?” He glared, daring to look up from his phone and give evident to the pain that had flashed in front of his eyes. 

 

“Not like we’re in the same math period or anything, drama dimwit,” Virgil snarked, shoulders tense and eyebrows furrowed. 

 

    “Hey now,” Patton said softly, standing up, his arms held up like he was cornering a trembling puppy. “Let's calm down okay?” Roman turned to face his trusted friend, looking into his deep blue eyes. “I think we’re all just a little stressed from midterms ending. What you said was mean Roman, and you should apologize, but Virgil just because someone calls you a name, it doesn't give you the right to be rude back.” 

 

    Patton wagged his finger like he was scolding a bunch of school children. Virgil just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Whatever you say  _ Dad _ .” 

 

“Actually…” Patton lips slowly tugged up in a considering smile “I don't hate that nickname.” 

 

“Perfect, since I don't have one.” Virgil snarked. 

 

    Patton frowned, but before he could unload  _ that _ emotional baggage Logan was walking-no  _ skipping _ -into the room, an elated Mr. Sanders following in his wake. In Logan's hands, he held a single gold envelope like it was the most precious thing in the world. It was rare for him to be this late to debate club, but even more rare for him to  _ smile _ this much. 

 

    His face was absolutely radiant, eyes bright and crinkling with a grin that was reserved for moments like these. His cheeks were flushed, with excitement or energy, no one could quite tell. Thomas stood behind him, chest held high and proud. Patton quickly looked away, suddenly interested in the fabric of his sweater. 

 

    “Greetings everyone,,” Logan started, nervously fiddling the paper in his hands. “I have great news.” 

  
“Oh?” Roman asked with an amused smile, raising an eyebrow. The nerd looked  _ so _ cute, a mixture between apprehension and complete and utter joy. The way he tried but failed to contain his excitement and remain professional was fucking adorable. “What it is?” 

 

    “I have received the theme for this year’s local debate,” Logan cried, thrusting out the envelope towards the rest of the room so they themselves could have a look. His smile was contagious as Patton took it from Logan, turning it over his hands. 

 

   “Local debate?” Virgil asked, pushing himself off the floor, leaving behind his sketchbook, and making his way towards the crowd that had gathered around the simple envelope. 

 

   “It’s where students from all over the state get together and argue on any given topic,” Mr. Sanders explained, gently trying to soothe Virgil’s nerves. “Logan signed you guys up when he registered the club last year. But it’s not that big of a deal! Just a bunch of kids your age coming together based on a common interest.” Virgil didn't seem convinced as he side eyed the letter, suspiciously. 

 

    “Who would like to do the honors?” Logan asked, greedily looking at the thick eveople, fighting to reign control over his energy. 

 

Patton smiled earnestly and pushed it back towards his taller friend. “I think you should.” 

 

“What? No,” Logan started, a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “Well, if you insist…” it didn't take much insisting. 

  
  


_ Dreams are coming true _ __   
_ When people laugh but not at you! _ __   
_ I'm not alone! I'm not afraid! _ _   
_ __ I feel like Bono at LiveAid!

__

__ “Shit that's my phone,” Roman swore, digging the thing out of his back pocket and putting it to his ear. Logan scoffed, holding the envelope against his chest protectively, and shifting his weight to one foot, watching as Roman furrowed his eyebrows and stalked into the corner. 

 

     “That's not-no-” the dramatic teen spat into the receiver, knuckles white around his Cinderella phone case. “How-how the hell did you hear about that?!” A nervous energy seemed to fill the room then, suffocating everyone like a sweltering summers heat, breathing hot and heavy down their backs. 

 

     Patton frowned, his eyebrows furrowed together as he watched his friend start to pace back and forth. Logan countuned to impatiently wait, his foot tapping out a steady rhythm on the floor while Virgil wrung his hoodie sleeves together. All eyes were pinned on Roman. 

 

    As the fanciful teen spun on his heel, he noticed the others staring at him and visibly tensed, his mussels going rigid and his lips pressed into a solid line. “I've gotta go okay?” he spat into the receiver. “Don't bother calling me again.” He hung up rather forcefully, a fire ablaze in his dark eyes.   

  
  


    “Alright,” he spat, still tightly clutching his phone. “Who did it?” 

Patton winced, and took a step back just as Mr. Sanders took a step forwards. “Did what?” the teacher asked calmly. 

 

     “I literally told no one else and now-” he winced, throwing out his arms dramatically, muscles tensing underneath his tight shirt. 

 

“Roman what's wrong?” Patton tried, keeping his voice soft and gentle despite the pounding of his heart. 

 

     “Oh don't play dumb!” Roman cried, looking accusingly at them all, his face set in a cold stone glare. Logan huffed out a sign, rolling his eyes exasperatingly. The thespians phone continued to ring and ding with notifications, only adding fuel to the fire. 

“We don't have time for this Rom-”

 

    “Was it you?” Roman’s voice was low and threatening as he glowered. He stalked up to Logan and stuck his pointer finger into his chest, prodding his crisp and clean  _ Lord of The Rings _ tee-shirt. 

 

    “Roman, let's step outside,” Mr. Sanders said sharply, taking another step forward. The heated teen, however, ignored his teacher and towered over Logan.

 

“All you fucking care about is your stupid club and your stupid grades and-”

 

“Mr. Tempus!”

 

“Roman you're being a dick!”

    “I bet it was you Virgil.” Roman furrowed his brows, completely fuming now. He stepped away from a disgruntled Logan, fists clenched, looking ready to pounce. “You’ve always hated me! Ever since day one! I bet you went ahead and told fucking everyone on that stupid-stupid email thingy!” Roman threw out his arms, eyes wide, hands flailing. He looked absolutely manic. 

 

   Virgil took a protective step in front of Patton as the smaller boy visible flinched and moved his hands to cover his ears. “Hate you?! You were the one who hated me!” he started, holding up his hands in a sign of peace, struggling to keep his voice down for Patton’s sake. “Just-just calm down!” 

 

“No!” Roman roared, chest heaving in complete hysterics now. “Why would you do that?! Why would you do that to  _ me _ ?!” 

 

     Luckily Mr. Sanders recognized the signs of an early panic attack, and he refused to let this go on any longer. “How about we all go to councilor’s office?” he asked. His tone suggested it wasn't a request, but a demand. 

 

    “Yes,” Patton agreed shakily from behind Virgil, daring to lift his hands from his ears and uncurl from where he had been hunched over. A wave of guilt washed over Roman, and if he didn’t already feel like he had been punched in the gut, he did now. “Let's go to the counselors office.” The five of them made the trek down the hallway. Thomas lead Roman with a comforting, but firm hand on his shoulder, actively separating him from the other three who cautiously trailed behind. 

 

    There weren't many kids left in the school, just students participating in clubs or sports. Most people paid no attention to them, except to catch a fleeting glance or whisper behind their back. Kai and Elliot, however, who had just escaped anime club, were an exception. 

 

     “Dude,” Kai cried, stauntering up to Roman with a phone in his hands. An uncertain Elliot followed in his wake, wringing their hands together and looking uncomfortable. “How come you never told us your mom was like, a movie star?!” The shorter boy stuck up his arm as far as it would go, and suddenly there was a bright phone screen waving in front of Roman's face. On it held a picture of him and his mom, the last time Roman had come to one of her red carpet events. He had been seven…? eight years old…? It was so long ago he couldn't even remember what movie it had been for. If not for the picture, he wouldn't have known what he had worn. 

 

    Patton audibly gasped while Mr. Sanders grip on Roman's shoulder tightened. Roman clenched his fists. 

 

    “I just didn't see how it was any of your concern,” Roman replied, voice tight and clipped. His stomach rolled and it kinda felt like he was gonna throw up. Or maybe cry. Yup, definitely cry. His vision was swimming and hands his were shaking and he wanted to punch something  _ so _ badly. 

 

   “Not our concern? Uh, what about the fact that you've been lying to us? That we’ve been friends with you for years and now-you don't even spend time with us anymore! Just them! Are they best friends?! No! So why don’t-”

 

“Kai,” Elliot said softly, taking their friend by the crook of his elbow. “It looks like they're in the middle of something… let's talk to Roman later okay?” 

 

“Yeah whatever,” Kai grumbled, giving the others behind Roman a quick once over, eyes hard and eyebrows furrowed. “But I'm still mad that you didn't trust me enough to tell me.” 

 

     “I’ll try to make it up to you sometime,” Roman mumbled sarcastically as Thomas continued to lead them down the rest of the hall. 

 

    Patton frowned, his blue eyes welling up with tears as he followed his teacher, a couple paces behind. “How did-” he started, turning to Logan, hands nervously clenched together “So people found out about his mom?”  

 

“It would appear so.” Logan replied. After straightening his glasses with a grimace, and adjusting the envelope in his hands, he pulled out his phone and quickly checked his school email. Sure enough, someone had gone out of their way to send that photo of Roman with his mom to  _ every _ student in the school along with an imdb link citing that the famous Tanya Tempus had a son that had remained under the radar for the past couple years. Virgil chewed the inside of his cheek and looked away as suspicious eyes followed them into the counselor office. 

 

     It was nearly empty, the secretary having gone home for the day now that classes were over. Luckily, Dr. Emile was still there, mulling over paperwork in his office, as he usually stayed late to take Logan home on debate club days. 

 

    Once the counseling centers doors were shut, Roman visible relaxed. The few kids that remained in the hallway could still see him through the glass windows of the office, but the walls offered him some privacy nonetheless. 

 

    “Mr. Sanders,” Dr. Emile smiled, stepping out of the comfort of his office and coming to meet the whole gang. “What can I do for you?” He took notice of Virgil’s stiff posture, of Patton’s wringing hands, of the unopened envelope in Logan's grip, and of Roman's hands which were shaking with uncontrollable rage.  _ Great googly moogly  _ something was definitely wrong. 

 

    “Do you think you could talk to Roman?” Thomas asked, looking down at the boy in front of him with worry. “I'm not quite sure what happened but-” 

 

    “I can talk for myself.” Roman spat, finally yanking his shoulder from the teachers grip, eyes watering. He immediately wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness, but his pride and the lump in his throat wouldn't let him. “Let's just get this over with yeah?” he asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. 

 

     Picani smiled softly and nodded. Rarely did he after interact with the theatrical teen. Roman wasn't the type to ask for help or admit he needed assistance. But as a licensed therapist it was easy to spot when someone was distraught. Even without his degree he would have been able to spot the pain on the boys face. “Of course, follow me.” He prompted Roman towards his door, which had his name on it along with the characters from monsters inc. and then they were both gone. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments appreciated!   
> I've been feeling kinda eeeh about this fic lately?? I just feel like I'm not doing the story I had in mind justice and that it's too cheesy and that thing's don't always make sense, even with foreshadowing and stuff. I dunno, maybe i'm just being too hard on myself, shrug.   
> Find me on Tumblr - radioactivehelena  
> Find me on Instagram - radioactive.pj


	16. sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat's out of the bag. How will Roman react? Will his friends be able to keep their protective nature under control?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings - punching, self deprecating thoughts
> 
> Sorry for the long wait! Unfortunately it's going to be another long wait as this week will be crazy hectic! But I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

    Virgil’s leg was shaking up and down as he sat in the plush comfy chairs of the waiting room, Logan, Patton and Mr. Sanders to his right. Logan was scrolling through his phone, the envelope not un-forgotten in his lap. Apparently, someone had started a hashtag in Roman's name, digging up old articles and magazine pictures. The darker skinned boy couldn't stop scrolling through his phone obsessively, with Virgil looking over his shoulder. 

 

     Patton frowned. His eyes which were normally framed with smile lines, darkened considerably. “Maybe we shouldn't be looking at that,” he said softly. “You know… invading Roman's personal space.” 

 

“Yes of course,” Logan replied, shutting off his phone with a click and slipping it into his jean pocket. “Just… curious.” 

 

“No problemo.” Patton smiled softly, quickly averting his glance. 

 

     He felt guilty. They all did. Roman had trusted the three of them with his secret and now it was the talk of the school. Patton hunched in on himself as they continued to sit in uncomfortable silence. 

 

     “Hey, it’s alright guys,” Mr. Sanders spoke up. “Mr. Emilie is very good at his job, and the teachers here won't let any bullying go unnoticed. We’ll find who did this and hold them accountable.” 

 

Patton nodded, fiddling with the necklace around his neck. “I know but… it's just not fair.”

 

    The teacher hummed in agreement, thinking for a moment. “You're right, it's not,” he said softly. “But sometimes you have to play the cards life has dealt you. They might be  _ awful _ cards but that doesn't mean you can't have fun playing the game.” 

 

    “An astute statement,” Logan commented, keeping his eyes pinned to the floor. “However, not incorrect.”

 

“And-and we can be there for Roman to help him play!” Patton added, visibly brightening. Thomas grinned softly. 

 

“Yeah, I have no doubt you guys will be able to get through this.”

 

     “A bit optimistic,” Virgil spoke up, leaning over with his arms resting on his knees so that he could look out the window opposite of the four of them. His leg kept anxiously bouncing, making his whole body shake up and down and his chest felt uncomfortably tight. Something wasn't adding up. He hadn't told anybody, and Virgil believed Logan and Patton when they said they didn't tell anyone, so who did? 

 

    His nerves felt like they were on fire. The way Roman’s smile had fell only to be replaced with cold stone furry could still be see every time he closed his eyes. It made something ugly bubble up in Virgil's chest, the type of protectiveness he only dare felt for his moms or Ness or Toby. 

 

    That's when he noticed it. Leaning against the locker nonchalantly, a beanie pulled over his black hair, green eyes sharp and piercing against the discoloration on his cheek as they met Virgil’s through the glass. Dee was wearing his signature leather jacket, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off the snake tattoo curled around his forearm and disappearing into the fabric of his clothes. His lips were turned up ever so slightly in a condescending smirk. 

 

_ Roman just shrugged, watching as Dee stepped into the room and sloppily cut Virgil off before he could finish looking for what he wanted in the fridge. It suddenly smelled like sweat and ash and alcohol.  _

 

_     “Hey!” Virgil snapped. “How about an excuse me?!” Dee raised a tired eyebrow, the monster energy drink he had come for in one hand and just stared for a solid second before he smirked and head into the dinning room.  _

 

_     “God I hate that kid,” Roman growled, shaking his head. “I would totally beat him up if he wasn't your brother.” _

 

     Dee had been listening to their whole conversation in the room right next door without either one of them knowing. It made Virgil’s blood boil and heat rise in his cheeks. His teeth started to grind together, his muscles started to tense, neither one of the brothers refusing to lose eye contact. 

 

    “Virgil?” Patton asked, moving a hand to the others leg which had started to bounce faster now. It was like Patton had flipped a switch. 

 

    Virgil jumped up, throwing open the door of the office and making a beeline for the upperclassmen. It felt like he was moving through jello as he approached. He couldn't seem to get there fast enough, heart pounding uncontrollably in his chest. His vision was painted a blurry red, his ears were ringing, everything was too much and too little all at once. Fists clenched, Virgil drew back his arm and prepared to strike. 

 

    But the hit never came. There was a strong arm wrapped around his chest from behind, pinning both of Virgil’s shoulders to his side, while another hand was gripping his fist. 

 

     “Let me go!” Virgil spat through his teeth as he kicked and punched wild animal, watching as Dee’s smile spread into a harsh laugh. “I'm serious get the fuck off!” 

 

    “Virgil,” Thomas said, his voice smooth and calm as he talked into his students ears, holding him back just as he’d been trained. “You need to calm down, and then I will let you go.” Virgil was desperate to get to Dee. He needed to revenge Roman, stand up for him.  _ No one _ treated his friends that way. 

 

    But he was hissing and scratching and kicking at Mr. Sanders, making a fool of himself as he tried to reach for his older brother. 

 

    Taking  _ several _ shaky and hysteric breaths Virgil went limp in Mr. Sanders arm’s. He hadn't meant to lose his temper, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt his favorite teacher because of it. Virgil cast a quick embarrassed glance towards his two friends. Patton looked mortified. Logan looked confused. 

 

     “Took you quicker then I expected,” Dee spoke up, examining his fingernails nonchalantly. Virgil tensed again, hands still clenched into fist, prepared to strike, but his teacher held him steadfast, pulling him back towards the office. “But I guess I should give credit when it's due. Congrats Virgil, and make sure you tell Roman to say hi to his mom for me.” 

 

    Patton blinked, furrowing his eyebrows as he started to back away and follow Mr. Sanders. “Congratulations for what?” Logan asked, narrowing his dark eyes. 

 

“Boys cmon,” Thomas snapped urgently. 

 

“Oh Logan, I thought you’d have gotten it by now.” His voice was laced with fake pity. 

 

   “Gotten what?” Patton asked carefully, the horror evident in his voice, his chest suddenly heaving because- _ no, oh god, of course, no. _

“Do I have to spell it out f-”

 

_ Smack _ . 

 

     Patton pulled back his fist with a yelp, knuckles stinging with the aftershock of hitting his bully square in the face. 

 

    “Patton!” Mr. Sanders yelled, eyes wide as he dropped Virgil in shock. Dee had a hand around his nose, desperately trying to stop the bleeding that had suddenly started to flow like cherry soda from a fountain machine. 

 

    Patton immediately started crying. Tears cascaded down his cheeks uncontrollably, eyes comically wide behind his wiry glasses, as he backed away from the boy towering over him. His shoulders were shaking and he was weak in the knees, obviously surprised that he had acted out in anger and  _ actually hit someone oh my god.  _

 

    “You disgusting, little, freak!” Dee snapped, just as Mr. Emilie, (with a Roman hot on his tail) came rushing into the hallway to see what all the commotion was. “Just you fucking wait,” he spat threateningly in Patton's face before turning to run, before either of the teachers could dare question him. 

 

    “Oh my goodness gracious,” Emilie gasped, straightening his glasses with a frown. “Looks like you guys have been rolling with the punches.” 

 

    Patton laughed, a pathetic little thing that quickly turned into desperate sobs as he continued to cradle his hand. “I'm sorry-” he cried. “I didn't mean to. I just-he was-he-” Patton sucked in air like it was water, furiously wiping at his eyes. He felt  _ bad _ . He felt cruel and evil and disgusting and everything he had fought so hard not to be. All his life he’d been shown cruelty and despite his best efforts, he had still turned out just like  _ them _ . Patton’s knuckles stung but he couldn't help and feel that he deserved it. 

 

    “It's alright Patton-” Emilie started in his trained therapist voice, but was cut off by Roman rushing forwards, wrapping the smaller boy up in his arms, cooing softly. Patton sniffled and dug his wet, snotty face into the taller boys shoulder. Logan winced. How unsanitary. 

 

    “My emotions just-I know violence isn't the answer but-but-” he stumbled, words catching in his throat as he struggled to express what he was feeling against the sobs bubbling up from his gut. He didn’t wanna be like them, he didn’t wanna be like them. If he turned out violent, bitter and mean, then who knew who he would hurt next? “I-I-I, he was, and, I’m so sorry!” 

 

    “Shhh,” Roman soothed, rubbing circles around Patton's back and smoothing down his hair. “Take your time.” Patton couldn't stop shaking. He could feel Virgil's worry and Logan’s pity and the teachers judge, judge,  _ judging him. _ But he was a bully. He deserved all that and more. He deserved whatever punishment he got for  _ fucking hitting someone _ . 

 

     Patton hiccuped and pulled away, resting his arms on Roman's broad chest. “I should be the one comforting you,” he muttered tiredly. Roman hummed thoughtfully. His chest still felt tight, but his anger had melted into sadness, and sadness into dread. At least comforting his friend gave him a purpose, something else to focus on. 

 

     “None of that sweet Patton,” Roman started, picking up his hand, going to brush his knuckles with a kiss when Mr. Sanders cleared his throat. Both boys turned a crimson red and snapped away from each other. 

 

     Mr. Emilie sighed. “Are you hurt, Patton?” he asked, voice surprisingly soft. His hands moved almost unconsciously as he spoke, spelling out words in American sign language. Mr. Sanders frowned as the boy shook his head. 

 

“You're doing it again,” the science teacher spoke up, stepping away from Virgil, and towards the guidance counselor. 

 

“Doing what?” Mr. Emilie asked, eyebrows raised, fingers still moving. 

 

    Thomas smiled softly, and lowered Emilie’s hands with his own, causing the latter of the two to blush furiously, eyes wide and lips cracked as he looked at his coworker. 

 

    There were three inquisitive looks thrown Logans way. The teen just shrugged. “He uses sign language when he's nervous.” That was not the question they wanted answered. 

 

    “Yes, well, this is the first time you’ve ever acted out so, no detention for you!” The guidance counselor smiled, yanking his hands away from Thomas, the tips of his ears a bright red. “Anywho, I should go finish up with my work-” he winced, backing towards office and brushing past Virgil. “Come get me when you're ready to go home Logan!” Stumbling, Mr. Emile’s back crashed into the door with a thud. He grimaced, quickly composed himself, and ducked inside. 

 

     “Strange,” Logan muttered, straightening his glasses which had slipped down his nose. “Emile is normally more composed than that.” 

 

     Mr. Sanders cleared his throat. “Let's open your letter, why don't we Logan?” he asked with a forced smile, voice usually high pitched and cheeks bright red. The teen's brown eyes widened. 

 

“I’d nearly forgotten about it!” he cried. “I left it in the guidance office.”

 

“Go get it then!” Thomas’s smile softened motioning Logan towards the door. 

 

    As the debate club president opened the door, Virgil stepped around his teacher and apprehensively approached Patton. The smaller teen was still clutching Roman's hand, their fingers wound tightly together, arms pressed against each other. Virgil cleared his throat. “You didn't have to do that for me,” he muttered, hands firmly shoved in his pocket. 

 

    Patton frowned. His eyes were red and his cheeks were blotchy. “I-I didn't do it for you,” he croaked, scrubbing the back of his hand across his face. “I didn't do it f-for-for anyone. I did it because  _ I _ was mad and because  _ I _ wanted to.” 

 

“I-yeah-sorry,” Virgil gruffed, setting a gentle hand on his friends shoulder. “Still-thank you. It was nice to see Dee taken down a few notches.” 

 

    Roman frowned, awkwardly resting his head atop Patton's despite their size difference. It was certainly the sight to see, considering Patton was smallest out of all of them. 

 

     “He did it right?” Roman started, “Dee I mean.” Roman was glad for the privacy Mr. Sanders was providing them with. He wasn't sure if he could have opened up with the teacher there, watching their every move. Not that he didn't trust them but adults… they had their moral obligations and everything. 

 

    Virgin sighed heavily, blowing out a long breath through his nose. “Yeah, yeah he did.”

 

“I'm so sorry Ro,” Patton croaked, turning to look at the taller boy, never letting go of his hand. 

 

“It's alright Patton-cake,” Roman shushed, running his free thumb across the others cheeks. “Shit happens.” 

 

“You can say that again.” Virgil snorted. 

 

“Shit happens,” 

 

     “I didn't mean it literally-you know what? Never mind.” Virgil composed himself as Logan approached, envelope clutched tightly in a white knuckled grip. 

 

“Let's open this bad boy!” Mr. Sanders cried as all four boys cringed endearingly at their embarrassing teacher. 

 

   “Finally,” Logan replied, straightening his glasses and biting his lip to hide a smile. He carefully and precisely tore into the envelope, relishing in the sound of paper tearing. Slowly, so to not hurt the letter inside, Logan took it out, dark eyes scanning across the letter. 

 

    Roman scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited. “Well, what does it say?” 

 

    Logan barely even registered the sass in his friends voice. “It says we are scheduled to debate against Pine Hill Institute in the topic of How to Help Out Teenagers With Mental Issues, and that we must meet with Remy Hypnos to discuss where we stand on the issue.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Princelogical on Tumblr for beta reading!
> 
> My tumblr - radioactivehelena


	17. seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finds himself jealous in the strangest of circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warnings! 
> 
> beta reader - princelogical

    Roman's dad had dropped off the four friends at the mall after school. Logan was clad in his fanciest black polo and blue tie while Virgil refused to wear anything but his usual hoodie. Roman had also dressed to impress, with a red sweater thrown over one of his white button ups, a pair of stylish doc martins on his feet and gel racked through his hair wavy hair. The only thing Patton was sporting was a rather nasty cut on his chin from falling on the pavement earlier in the week and knuckles that were still bruised. 

    Virgil had rolled his eyes at Roman’s and Logan’s ridiculous need to impress but Patton had said his friends looked handsome and to just ignore Virgil, despite the fact that the two of them were gently holding hands. 

     “So, where are we meeting this fellow?” Roman asked, meticulously adjusting the messenger bag he had thrown over his shoulder.  

    “He told me he would be at the food court,” Logan responded, pushing his glasses up his nose as he looked at the Facebook message from the captain of the opposing debate club’s president. Remy was… an interesting character. He had complained about having to download Facebook just to talk to Logan, demanded he get an Instagram, and then proceeded to call him ‘hot stuff’ all at one in the morning. “He said he would be the one in the school uniform and sunglass.” 

    Roman rose his eyebrows with a gruff laugh. “Sunglasses? What kinda douche wears sunglasses inside in the  _ middle _ of winter?” Virgil bit his tongue, not about to comment on how long Roman had spend in the boys bathroom, carefully fixing his hair before he deemed himself ready for the public. 

“Now Roman,” Patton scolded. “Don't judge a book by its cover.” 

     Logan pursed his lips. “Actually covers, along with summaries of course, are some, if not the only, most accurate ways to judge a book. Sure, you won't actually know if you like a book until you read it but a cover can-” 

“There he is!” Patton squealed, letting go of Virgil's hand and pointing towards the rows of mostly empty tables (who came to the mall on a Tuesday night anyways besides loiters and teenagers looking to waste time) at the food court. 

    The boy was in fact, wearing thick, circular sunglasses, black slacks, green tie, blazer and all. He looked like the stock image of  _ spoiled private school  _ and Logan almost scoffed. If only it was socially acceptable to dress so professionally at public school. He smooth out his tie and straightened the collar of his shirt. 

    “What's his name again?” Patton asked, blue eyes bright and wide as he looked between his current friends and the new comer. 

“Remy,” Logan replied coolly, looking away from the smaller boy’s wide smile as he continued, straightened his tie. He needed to keep his composure. There was no need for those pesky chest palpitations that seemed to come whenever he saw Patton smile or Virgil laugh or heard Roman go one on of his tyrads. 

    “And remember,” Roman cried, trying to keep his voice down but ultimately failing. A man from inside a payless glared at the teenagers outburst. “He is the enemy. He must be stopped!” The smallest boy of the group giggled, playfully

shoving Roman's shoulder with his own as Virgil rolled his eyes. Well, so much for Logan trying to control his heart. It was beating wildly in his chest. 

“He's a junior from Manchester High. What he gonna do to us, quiz us on our SAT’s?” Virgil muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

   Logan frowned, adjusting his glasses and pushing back his hair as they got closer and closer. “Manchester High is a school for the intelligently gifted,” he said, voice low. “For all we know, he  _ could _ quiz us on our SAT’s.” Virgil looked up at Logan with a worried glance, not missing the note of the jealousy behind his words. Before he could comment on it however, Patton was leaning against one of the chairs across from the boy, beaming. 

    “Um-uh-uh-hi!” he stuttered, tripping over his words in excitement, gripping the top of the metal chair to give his hands something to do. Roman stood behind him, arms crossed, and glare hard. Virgil fought the urge to shake his head. The thespian tried so hard to be intimidating sometimes, even when it wasn't necessary. It actually  _ was _ a tad bit intimidating, (Roman  _ did _ have abs from his work in the school musicals) but Virgil would never admit that. 

    “Yo,” the boy-Remy-nodded, sitting back in his chair, letting it tip back ever so slightly, letting it tetter on the end of its legs. “You're the dude who was supposed to meet me here?”

“Sorta,” Patton replied, rocking back and forth on his feet. “I'm a part of the debate club!” 

     “I am the President,” Logan said, clearing his throat and puffing out his chest like a proud lion.  _ Nerd, _ Virgil thought, rolling his eyes fondly and shoving his hands into his pockets. “Logan Picani, nice to meet you.” He stuck out his hand in a formal greeting, watching with wide eyes as Remy reached for the cup next to him and took a sip, completely ignoring his hand. 

“That makes me Remy Hypnos I guess, but I think we’re on a first name basis right?” He smirked, oblivious to the way Logan’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Roman lips pulled back in a scowl. “So, you bring the whole squad Mr. Picani?” 

    Logan blinked. “I-yes.” He frowned, looking at his friends for help. “They are right here.” 

“Sup.” 

“Greetings!” 

     Remy nodded in response, cocking his head towards the chairs across from him. “So, are you gonna sit or just stand there looking cute all day?” Logan’s face turned an alarming shade of red. His chest felt tight, but not in the same way it did while he was talking to Roman or Patton or Virgil. As he pulled out a chair and sat, he realized that comment had made him  _ mad _ . 

    “It's so cool that you go to Manchester High!” Patton started. Remy just shrugged in response, setting down his coffee and crossing his arms. His chair clicked against the tiled floor as all four legs found themselves on the ground again. “I heard you guys have therapy dogs?” Out of all of them, Patton was the best at small talk. Logan decided to let him do his thing, entertain the enemy while he tried his best to calm his nerves. 

“Yeah we do. They're pretty adorable. Just like you.” 

   “Aww, oh my goodness, thank you!” Logan looked over towards Patton, the smaller teens hands covering his face as he tried in vain to hide his embarrassment. The feeling in Logan's chest only grew and he started bouncing his leg up and down to try and control it. 

    “We should start discussing the side of the debate we will be arguing, as that is why we are here.” he stated plainly, lips pulled back in a scowl, ignoring the look of concern from Virgil. 

“Alright babe, whatever you say.” 

   “Hmmmh-yes,” Logan cringed, trying his best not to snap. He was  _ nobody's _ babe, and  _ especially _ not Remy’s. “The topic is teenagers and mental health. I presume you and your team has come up with a solution they would like to argue?”

    “Sleep baby,” Remy smiled, snapping his fingers, shooting a lazy handgun towards Logan. “It's all about the REM cycle.” 

“Very well,” Logan responded, fishing in his backpack for a pad of paper and pencil. “We will be arguing that therapy could help improve mental health in teenagers. Now if that's all we will go going. It was nic-”

    “Wait a hot sec,” Remy frowned, uncrossing his legs and leaning forwards. “You can't leave yet! At least buy me dinner first!” Roman choked. Virgil sputtered. Patton turned his head to the side in a silent question. Logan remained straight faced. 

    “I do not see the need to stay longer,” he replied coolly, scribbling down messy notes about Remy and the topic he had chosen. “We will see you at the debate.” He stood to leave, only to be yanked back down harshly by Virgil. 

    “Logan,” the angsty teen hissed in his ear. “You're being a dick. Even if you don't like the guy, you gotta act nice.” A heavy weight settled in Logan's stomach. He  _ didn't _ like Remy. He didn't like the way he had ignored his hand shake or flirted with his team mates or sat with his back slouched and legs crossed like he owned the food court. He was like Roman, but without  _ any _ of the redeeming qualities. 

    Logan turned t, trying to avoiding eye contact, squirming under his friends scrutiny. Virgil was disappointed. Virgil was disappointed  _ in him _ . And that hurt more than any cheesy pick up lines Remy could have used on him or Patton or Roman or even Virgil himself. 

    “I-” Logan took a deep breath, clenched his pencil and shook his head. “We will not leave. I suppose there is still more that we could discuss.” Virgil sighed heavily through his nose as the boy opposite the four of them picked up his coffee and took a long, loud sip. 

    “So,” Roman started, breaking the tense and suffocating silence. “Can I ask what the sunglasses are for? They aren't really in season.” He was drawing random patterns across the dirty table with the tip of his fingers in order to entertain himself, his other hand propping up his head lazily. 

    Remy raised an eyebrow, snorting an amused little chuckled. “Are you telling me you really didn't notice hon?” he asked. Roman blinked, face contouring in anger and fury at the sudden utter disrespect. Patton quickly shot out a hand to comfort him, resting it against the thespian’s thigh gently. 

“I'm afraid we don't know what you're talking about, kiddo.” Patton frowned, looking over as Roman took his hand and squeezed it gently. It seemed to calm the thespian a little at least, having his friend there for comfort, and Patton didn't mind as Roman’s hand was gently and soft. 

    Remy laughed, and it was harsh compared to the warm feeling that had filled Patton’s chest when Roman held his hand. He doubled over and set his coffee back on the table, shaking his head. “Oh my god. _ Oh my god _ . I like you Patton. You're like a fucking oblivious puppy or something.” Patton's eyebrows furrowed and his head cocked to the side in a silent question. He was, in fact, oblivious to way Roman's jaw clenched, Virgil’s hands balled into fists and Logan tensed up, ready to defend their friend. 

    “I'm blind, sweetie.” 

     Logan blinked. Oh.  _ Oh.  _ It all made sense now. The sunglasses, the way he ignored Logan’s hand shake, and how he hadn’t know the four of them were there until they announced their presence. 

    “Oh my goodness gracious!” Patton cried, looking mortified, yanking his hands from Roman's to cover his face in shame. “I'm so sorry, I didn't know!” Remy just shrugged, the smile on his lips slipping, but only for a second.

“It's no big deal. I can still see enough to know you're fucking adorable.” 

    Logan swallowed against the anger rising in his throat. “Is that all?” he asked, voice surprisingly calm. “You kept us here just to see- _ hear _ how we would react to this revelation? To make us look like fools?” The only thing logan hated more than being wrong was not knowing something and Remy had just subjected him to both. 

    Remy leaned forward, resting his forearms against the table, a smirk playing across his lips. “What, we aren't allowed to play nice?” He asked. “Haven't you ever heard the term keep your friends close and your enemies closer?” 

“I-w-what-” Patton frowned. “We can't be friends?”

“Don't worry babe, you and I are tight. Logan on the other hand…” 

    “You know we’re right here?” Virgil muttered nonchalantly, jumping in before Logan did something stupid like blew up and caused a scene in the middle of the mall. 

“Oooh you're a little feisty,” Remy smiled, his teeth shiny and white. “I think I like you too.”

    “ _ I think _ ,” Logan started. “That we better leave.” His tone gave off the indication that he was not prepared for anyone to argue with him on the matter. Nobody did. 

   “M’kay,” Remy shrugged. “Would y'all mind walking me over to Claire's? My biffle is waiting for me there.” 

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” Virgil sighed, running a hand down his face and standing up. “Just don't ever say the word biffle around me again.” 

    Remy pulled out a cane from his book bag, extending it to its full length and sweeping it back and forth in front of him as walked. Patton and Logan hung back, disregarding the heated conversation the three teens head of them had gotten into. Something about some bands and music. Surprisingly, Remy and Virgil had a similar taste in style, and it was driving Roman crazy. 

    “This did not go according to plan,” Logan muttered, dark eyes calculating as he studied the mysterious boy in front of him. “Not only can he not take anything seriously, but he mocked us the entire time.”

“Oh I dunno,” Patton shrugged, playing with the chain around his neck, carefully fiddling with the charms. “He  _ wasn't _ that bad.” 

“I can not tell if you think that because you pity him or because he complimented you.” 

    Patton’s heart sank. He quickly turned his head, to avoid Logans gaze, making sure he didn't see his smile slip. “Logan I don't-! I dunno… I just thought he was nice. Sorta funny too.” He wrapped his arms around himself in a comforting hug, ginergly looking back up at his friend as to see his reaction. 

   But Logan’s eyes never left Remy’s back. “Well, at least he seems to be getting along with Virgil just fine. Maybe we could get some more information out of him that way.” 

“It's not all about winning,” Patton sighed, coming to stand next to Virgil outside of Claire's. 

    “You can not make me go in there.” The emo hissed once his friends approached, grey eyes wide as he took in the assortment pink bows and sparkly hair extensions. 

“Oh c’mon,” Roman rolled his eyes. “I need a new pair of earrings anyways.” 

    Remy was inside, leading a tall girl with long brown hair and an award winning smile back towards their group, a wicked grin on his own face. “Yo, Valerie, meet Virgil, Roman, Patton and L-dog.” 

“My name is Logan,” Logan quickly corrected, angrily straightening his tie. 

    “It's so nice to meet you all!” Valerie replied. She was wearing almost the same exact outfit as her counterpart, but instead of grey slacks she had on a skirt and on her blazer were two pins, a Hamilton star and a Mexican flag. “Remy wouldn't stop talking about how excited he was on the way here!” 

    Virgil watched with slight amusement as Remy’s whole face turned a shade of red he had never seen before. So the kid actually  _ did _ have interests and emotions? 

    “So, are you in the debate club?” Logan asked with genuine interest, sizing up the possible competition. Valerie just shook her head, her dark hair waving back and forth as she did so. 

    “Unfortunately, no. Theater takes up too much of my time.” 

“Theater?!” Roman gasped. “You do theater?” 

“And that's our cue to leave,” Remy said, straight faced. “Seriously though, we gotta get going. Things to do, people to see.” Weather or not that comment was meant to be ironic, no one was really sure. 

    “It was nice meeting you!” Patton beamed. Remy shot him a quick finger gun in reply. 

“Logan’s got my number babe, hit me up anytime.” Logan's face contorted and he furrowed his eyebrows, feeling the jealousy that had been building up inside of him all day boil over. He clenched his fists so tightly he could feel his nails dig into his skin. Patton wasn't a  _ babe _ . He wasn't an object. He didn't deserve to be treated as such. 

    “I wasn't joking about those earrings,” Roman muttered, watching the two of them grow smaller and smaller in the distance. 

 

-

 

    Logan stood towards the front of the store, with his arms crossed over his chest, face stoic. He didn't see why they had to stay any longer as their meeting with Remy was over. He was eager to head home, look over his notes and obsess over every little word that had come out of Remy’s obnoxious mouth but here they were. 

     Roman was handing flower crowns to Patton for him to try on while Virgil tried not to laugh from the sidelines, snapping not so inconspicuous photos on his phone. Patton would stick out his tongue and wink at the phone, teasing his friend who covered his smile with a hand. Logan watched with a frown, waiting for the three of them to be done. There were better things to do then play pretend like school children. 

    Roman tried to placed a crown of violet, lilac and raspberry flowers on Virgil's head. The emo playfully swatted at his hand, swearing and hissing, but eventually let Roman carefully set the headband atop his fringe. Even with his black skinny jeans and patched hoodie, the flowers seemed to perfectly match the aesthetic Virgil was aiming for. Now it was Patton's turn to squeal with awe, cooing over Virgil who turned a bright red and was suddenly more interested in the floor then his friends. 

   Once Roman found one that fit his needs (crown of roses and fake jewels) he put it atop his head as not to mess up his hair and pulled out his phone. Patton's crown was a baby blue, with a few teal and indigo flowers scattered throughout. The three of them snapped a few selfies, and Logan found himself having to look away. Between Virgil's glare, Roman’s perfect smolder and Patton's beaming smile, they all looked breathtakingly beautiful but also uniquely themselves. 

    To Logan, this is what Remy would never understand. Not because he was blind, or stupidly obnoxious, but because they were on opposite sides. They were fighting against each other and while this might not be war, they were, in a term, enemies. People looked for faults in their enemies, they looked for way to tear them down and make them fail. And sure, while Virgil, Roman and Patton had their undeniable faults, they also had their strengths. Rivals rarely could recognize just how resilient, or enthusiastic or caring or kind or brilliant their foes truly were. 

    Logan looked back up to see Patton clipping sparkly pink and rainbow bows into Virgil’s faded purple hair with a giggle. Despite the scowl on the emo’s face, Logan knew he didn't mind that much. No one could deny Patton's puppy eyes, and no one really would want to. Not when he was the sweetest boy Logan knew. “I better not see this on Instagram or anything,” he heard Virgil mutter darkly as Patton snuck a quick photo. 

    Behind the two of them, Logan saw Roman inconspicuously set of flower crowns up on the register and pull out his wallet, unbeknownst to Virgil of Patton. A gift? But Christmas had already passed and it was well into January. No ones birthday was coming up but his, and there was nothing in Claire’s that  _ he _ could possibly want. With a frown, Logan begrudgingly made his way over to the more dramatic man, swallowing his pride and cringing at the excess glitter. 

     “Here ya go,” the cashier smiled, pushing a bag over to Roman as the receipt started printing. The thespian barely even turned to acknowledge Logan as he waited patiently and the debate team leader felt his chest constrict. With a frown he watched the cashier scribble something on the receipt before leaning over the counter towards Roman and winking. The thespian smirked in response, admiring the receipt with pride. 

    Logan’s eyebrows furrowed. He realized, suddenly, that the girl had written her number. 

    “Ready to go?” Roman asked turning back to Logan with the bag held carefully in his hand. “I already texted my dad, so he’ll be here in a minute.”

“I’ve been ready.” Logan replied curtly, voice tight, ignoring the way Roman’s smile seemed to fall. 

“Yeah, okay, let’s go.” 

 

-

 

  They were waiting outside in the cold, melting, slushy, snow that covered the sidewalk. The sun was setting, casting a purple glow over the mall and illuminating the boys in an orangish-pink light. 

   “Hey,” Roman said softly, standing closer to Patton who was shivering in his light jacket. “Do you want my coat?” 

“I'm fine!” The smaller boy responded, perhaps a little too quickly to be truthful. But Patton was smiling and looking up at Roman earnestly, so he decided not to push it. 

    “Well, I  _ do _ have something I can give you,” Roman started, carmel eyes glinting as he reached into his bag. 

“Oh?” Patton asked, a worried frown tugging at his lips. Roman just smiled in reply. 

“Close your eyes.” 

    Apprehensively Patton did so. For a second, Roman was taken aback with just how beautiful Patton truly was. Dirty blonde curls fell haphazardly around his face, twisting into little ringlets and waves. Freckles dusted his nose and cheeks like constellations, no two ones quite the same. He had long lashes that cast a shadow on just barely visible bags under his eyes. The foundation, which had been sloppily applied to the cut on his chin, was melting and smudging away in the golden light. 

    Letting out a shaky breath, Roman carefully set the flower crown on Patton’s head and felt his heart ache painfully. “Uh, you can open your eyes now.” 

    “Patton holy shit!” Virgil swore from where he had been admiring the movie posters lining the mall walls with Logan. “When did you even buy that?! Did you steal that?!” 

    Patton's eyes widened and he threw his hands up to his head, fingers roughly gripping the crown and crushing a few of the fake flowers. “I-I-no!” 

“I bought it for him!” Roman said quickly, throwing at his hands in a surrender. “Here, here, see, I bought one for you too Virgil.” 

   Virgil’s eyes widened in shock, then darkened. Roman had expected him to say thank you, maybe put it on, give him a hug, praise Roman as the wonderful friend he was. What he did  _ not _ expect was for Virgil him to punch him in the arm. “What the fuck?” He screamed. “Why would you do that?!” 

    “I-” Roman gaped, jaw slack in surprise. “Because you're my friend.” 

“Yeah no shit,” Virgil grumbled, one hand shoved in his pocket the other stuck out in a peace offering. “Hand it over.” 

   Roman did as he was told and watched with awe as the angsty teen carefully took the flower crown and placed it on top his head. He looked just as gorgeous as before. Roman smirked. “You know you love me.” 

“And you're luckily I do.” 

     Roman rolled his eyes, reaching into the bag to put his own red one on his head, fingers skimming over the last untouched flower crown which sat in the bottom of the bag, discarded. 

 

-

 

    Once they had dropped Patton off at his apartment, it was just Logan and Roman sitting in the back as the latter of the two’s dad drove. Unsurprisingly, Roman had his license taken away after the incident at school with Dee and was forced to deal with the embarrassment that was his dad driving him everywhere. 

    “Hey,” Roman spoke up as they slowly neared Logan’s house. The flowers were still on his head and he had an arm lazily thrown over the back of the seat. “I actually got something for you too.” Logan rose an eyebrow in a silent question. 

“Uh, here.” 

    The thespian pulled out a headband with simple white daisy’s braided into fake twigs and leaves. “I thought is was more your aesthetic,” he muttered, keeping his eyes pinned to the accessory, afraid of Logan’s reaction. “Patton’s and Virgil’s were more… extravagant but this one is less…” 

“Extra?”

    Roman’s head shot up, a smirk on his lip and his eyebrows raised. “When did you use slang like that?”

    “Since you taught it to me.” Logan shrugged, straightening his glasses, his gaze pinned on Roman’s hand. “But if you are wondering, yes, I like it, and yes, I will accept it as a gift.” 

    Roman's smile only grew. Unlike with Patton, he merely handed the crown to Logan instead of trying to put in on his friend’s head. The taller boy turned it over in his hands for a brief moment, then set it atop his black hair and blinked. “Does it look okay?” 

     Roman swallowed the lump in his throat. The whites and yellows contrasted against Logans dark skin, and made his eyes pop. His features, which were normally so rigid and strict, now appeared softer. It was shocking that one simply accessory could bring out so many of Logan’s pretties qualities. 

    “Yeah,” he said softly. “Yeah, of course.” 

 

-

 

    That night Logan couldn't get the look Roman had given him after he had put on the flower crown, or Patton's beaming smile, or Virgil’s begrudging grin out of his head. He just stared at the ceiling thinking about how lucky he was to have such amazing friends, and how they deserved so much more than he could ever be.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm in the process of re-writting chapters, so updates will be slower, but the plot, backstories, and characterizations, will be more fleshed out! We're really getting into the main plot now, stuff is about to go down and I'm excited to see how you reacted hahaha... 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos appreciated!


	18. eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It looks like rain but the sun's still shinning. Surely that can't be a good sign...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Before you read I suggest going back and skimming through chapters one through ten. Not only are they much better written, but the characters are better developed and the foreshadowing is stronger!! Anywho~ enjoy this new chapter!
> 
> TW - Transphobia

    “Is this some kinda sick joke?” Virgil snapped, slamming a bright red piece of paper cut into the shape of a heart onto Roman’s desk. It was the beginning of third period math, but the bell had yet to ring and students still filed in the classroom door. Roman looked up from his phone, confusion flashing in front of his eyes before it quickly turned defensive. 

 

“What are yo-”

 

    “This!” Virgil growled, waving the handmade card furiously in front of his friends eyes. “You really wanna get rid of us that badly now that you can have your pick of the litter huh?” A crowd was starting to form around the two of them. Patton nervously tugged at their necklace, looking like they wanted to intervene, but not quite sure how. 

 

     “Virgil I don’t-” 

 

“Oh c’mon on!” Virgil laughed, but there was no humor behind his words. “Everyone wants to be your friend now that they know about your mom. It was just a matter of time before you got rid of the freak squad right?!” His words spat like venom from his mouth, piercing Roman’s heart. The thespians eyebrows furrowed in hurt and confusion. 

 

“Virgil maybe he doesn't…” Patton started, but they trailed off as if they didn’t quite believe what they were about to say themselves. The crowd pushed closer, hungry for a fight. 

 

    “Everyone to your seats!” the math teacher called as she entered the room. The crowd dispersed. 

 

    Dread filling his gut, Roman watched as Virgil lead Patton away from their usual spot together and towards the other side of the classroom. The paper heart was still sitting on his desk. It was one of those stupid anonymous candy grams that the school sold. You could buy them for a dollar and send them to your crush or girlfriend. And apparently, someone had forged one in Roman's name. 

 

_ Roses are Red _

_ Violets are Blue _

_ Sex equals Gender  _

_ and the same goes for You _

 

-

  
  


    “I didn't write this.” Roman said camly, letting the Valentine fall in front of Patton. There was the usual buzz of the cafeteria singing around them in a chorus of pubescent angst. Logan looked up from his lunch in confusion while Virgil glared at Roman threateningly. “I seriously didn’t write this,” he said again, sitting next to the smallest of their friend group. “And I never would.” 

 

    Patton looked away from Roman’s ernest gaze, fiddling with their fork. Roman didn’t blame them. If someone had sent him such an awful note, he wouldn't know how to react either. “You have no proof that I didn't do it other then my word, but I promise, I'm telling the truth.” 

 

     Pushing around the peas on their tray, Patton looked back up at their friend, blue eyes filled with so much hope and trust that the latter of the two almost melted. Roman had to swallow before he continued. “That someone would do such a thing to someone as kind as you, that they would send you a valentine with those hurtful words, it makes my blood boil. It make me wanna find whatever foul monster has done so and destroy them accordingly.” 

 

    Patton rolled their eyes fondly, quickly scrubbing at their cheeks under their glasses. No, this was not the time for tears.  Relief flowed through their body and their shoulders relaxed under their binder, a shuddering breath racking their chest. It wasn’t Roman.  _ Of course _ it wasn't Roman. Why would someone who'd been so kind and considerate to them go out of their way to hurt them? Patton had been stupid to even  _ think _ Roman could do such a thing. 

 

     Logan reached across the table and calmly snatched up the piece of paper. “Mythical beings do not exist Roman,” he said. “This was most likely the act of some bully.”

 

    “Or some troll!” Roman cried, slamming his hands down on the table, beaming at the wet giggle that escaped Patton’s lips. “I bet he snuck out of the girls bathroom when no one was looking. Fear not though, I'm an expert at hunting down trolls.”

 

     “You got that from Harry Potter,” Logan muttered. “Can't you even try to be a little original?!” 

 

“What do you mean, it was one hundred percent my idea.” 

 

    Patton’s giggles continued to edge Roman on as he playfully argued with Logan. But the thespian didn't miss the look of approval shining behind Virgil’s grey eyes as he tucked into his cheese sandwich. Time and time again Patton would remind them that they could stand up for themselves. That they didn't need to protect them or nurture them. But that wouldn't stop Logan or Roman or Virgil from trying. 

 

    Patton was easily the best out of all of them even if they had their moments (like punching Dee in the face). But Patton cared more then Logan ever could and listened more than Roman ever would and smiled more then Virgil was capable of. Patton was their little misfit group’s source of optimism when everything else felt dark. Virgil, Roman and Logan, would never let anything bad happen to him. 

  
  


-

  
  


    “What do you mean I'm kicked out?!” Roman cried, looking down in horror at the theater teacher. She simply pursed her lips in response and shrugged lazily. 

 

“You saw the cast list Mr. Tempus.” 

 

     Roman's frown fell impossibly more. “But that's unfair!” he begged, feeling his pride crumble into nothing more but meer rumble at his feet. Who was he without theater? Who was he without the thrill of the stage? the determination to learn his lines? the high that came after putting on an encore worthy performance? “I-I've been the lead the last two years…” 

 

    “No,” the teacher said curtly. “I believe  _ that _ is what's unfair. You have an advantage against the other students and I think it's time they all be giving an equal opportunity.” 

 

     “What advantage?!” Roman gaped, watching in heartbroken shock as she returned to grading the papers at her desk. 

 

“Your mom,” ths teacher replied with a simple shrug. 

 

    Roman shook his head, as if trying to clear the nasty thoughts that had started swimming around the murky waters that were his brain. “What about my mom?” he asked slowly, cautiously, almost afraid to hear the answer. 

 

    “It's like I said Roman, other people deserve a chance.” 

 

“You think because my mom can carry a tune, I have an unfair advantage?” he snapped in utter dismay, a mix of harsh words and sharp tone.  

 

“I didn't say that.” 

 

    “But you did!” he yelled, unable to control his rage. “I-I don't get my talent from my  _ fucking _ mom.” he ignored her glare and continued, his voice rising as steadily as his anger. “I haven't even seen her in  _ years _ ! What if I was an orphan huh?! ”

 

“Are you?”

 

“No but then you wouldn't even know that-” 

 

    “I've already made my decision,” the teacher said with a detached sighed, setting down her pen to look her student in the eyes. “What's done is done. I'm sorry Roman. There is always next year.” 

 

    Roman didn't fall for her fake sympathy for even a second. He knew that there would be no ‘next year’. That his mom had ruined things for him yet again. With his heart in his throat, Roman left the classroom. The hallways were mostly empty and for that he was glad. He furiously scrubbed at his cheeks, texting his dad to pick him because he still couldn't drive his own damn car. 

 

-

 

    It smelled like rain before a thunderstorm, the air thick and heavy with tension. Normally Virgil enjoyed storms. The distant rumble of thunder felt more like a security blanket then any stuffed animal ever could. No matter where Virgil had moved, there had always been dark and angry clouds overflowing with rain water and pent up electricity. He didn't need a teddy bear to feel safe when he had the constant reassurance that water would always fall and feed the earth yet again. 

 

    Even when he was with his birth parents, Virgil had enjoyed the rain. When he had been locked in that closet, the only sound that could drown out his parents screaming had been the roar of thunder and crash of electricity. When it would storm, the gentle tapping of rain against the roof helped to soothe his nerves, even when surrounded by the suffocating darkness that the closet had provided. 

 

    It had been raining the day CPS found him. It had been raining the day his moms adopted him. It had been raining the day he got to meet Ness. It had even been raining the day he moved to Pottersville. 

 

     Maybe that was why Virgil loved storms so much. Whenever there was thunder, a happy bolt of electricity would soon follow.

    But this felt like a different type of storm. Like a hurricane or tornado that threatened to sweep away everything he loved. Virgil squirmed in his seat, trying to focus on his art project, but he only managed to streak black paint over the landscape he had been working on. With a sigh, he pushed his supplies away, brushes, paint and all, and let his head thump against the table. The buzz of the classroom continued around him, creating the perfect white noise in which Virgil could sleep. 

 

    Just has he was about to close his eyes, he heard a girl from the other end of the table mention Patton’s name. Virgil furrowed his eyebrows in worry. His gut clenched, anticipating the first rain drop that singled the rest of the storm. Virgil feigned sleep as he continued to eavesdrop. 

 

    “I mean-I can't believe it. He-she...er… Patton! I just never knew!” 

 

“I'm just shocked they let ‘em change in the boys locker room. I'll use whatever name and pronoun he wants, but that's just taking it a little to far.” 

 

“When did this whole thing even start anyways? I don't remember her going by Patton in elementary school…” 

 

“I think it was the fifth grade or something. He always dressed masculine anyways, so I guess none of us question it.” 

 

“Hmmmh, I'm sure I can dig up some photos from my old year books or something.” 

 

   Virgil's blood boiled. He felt like a bolt of electricity, ready to explode. How  _ dare _ those girls talk about Patton’s life like it was some late night soap opera. A low, animalistic growl grew in the back of Virgil's throat and he pushed himself up from his seat, shocking those around him. “I need to pee,” he grumbled at the teacher, not even bothering to grab the hall pass on his way out. 

  
  
  


-

 

    The school hallways were bustling with energy. Patton wanted nothing more than to lay down, maybe read a book or just stare at the ceiling all for the rest of the day while his brain turned to mush in his skull. He felt like he was working on autopilot as he approached his locker and turned the lock, opening the metal door. At least it was Friday and he could relax as much as his parents would allow over the weekend. 

 

    “Greetings,” A smile found its way onto Patton's lips as he turned to face Logan.

 

“Hey!” he said. 

 

“Was your day adequate?” the nerd asked, hiking his backpack farther up his shoulder. He already had his jacket and hat on, ready to face the cold winter air. 

 

    The usually peepy teen shrugged, awkwardly running a hand up and down his own arm in order to self soothe. “It was good.” Patton winced. His happiness sounded fake, even to him. “How was yours?” 

 

    “It was alright,” Logan replied casually, straightening his glasses. He was about to suggest they head towards the busses when he finally got a good look at Patton, the dark circles under his eyes and his sunken cheeks and the way he hunched his shoulders, as if trying to curl in on himself and disappear. He looked worse than Virgil, and that was saying something. 

 

    “Patton, are you feeling alright?” Patton forced a smile on his lips and nodded. 

 

“I'm a-okay!” He straightened out his messenger bag, trying to situate it comfortably on his aching shoulders. 

 

    Logan pursed his lips and hummed in response, pretending not to see straight through Patton’s lie.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading!! And thank you to Princelogical on tumblr for beta reading!!
> 
> There's some big stuff coming in the next chapter and I'm excited. Hopefully the updates won't be so far apart as well... oops sorry about that! But thank you for being patient and sticking around.
> 
> Kudo's and comments are always appreciated!


	19. nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton shows up at Roman's door in the middle of the night with a black eye and tears running down their face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major trigger warnings for transphobia and child abuse! Like, seriously, please be safe!! And please let me know if I missed anything!
> 
> Also, just a reminder, I rewrote the first ten chapters of this fic! Some plot stuff has changed so don't forget to check it out please! And sorry for the long wait! 
> 
> Thank you to princelogical for beta reading!

    When the doorbell rang around ten thirty at night Roman  _ refused _ to answer it and that  _ did not _ make him any less of a man. For all he knew, a mass murder could be standing right outside his house. Or a sales associate. Or both. If a serial killer was trying to sell you Girl Scout cookies at  after your bedtime why not let your dad and not-so-ferocious dog do all the talking when you could go and hide? 

 

    But it hadn't been a kidnapper, or even an eight year old girl with a sales pitch. No, it was something much worse. It was Patton, dried tear tracks staining their cheeks. 

 

    Roman peered around his father's frame, taking in the way his friend trembled in the brisk March air, a single bag thrown over their shoulders. They had a bruise blooming on their left eye, their lips red and raw from chewing them, the sandy curls that sat atop their head as even more disheveled than usual. 

 

     “Patton right?” Mr. Tempus asked in a soft, tender voice - the kinda tone Roman had only heard his father use with him - breaking both teens from their shocked stupor. 

 

    “Y-y-yeah,” Patton's breath hitched, baby blue eyes unfocused and hazy. Roman wanted nothing more then to scoop them up into a hug. Patton was suppose to be full of laughter and giggles, wide smiles and annoying puns. They were supposed to be rainbows and sunshine and glitter. They were Roman’s happiness on the worst days. But this, not this, never this. Tiny, shuddering, sobs wasn't as good of a look on them as their smile. 

 

    “Would you like to come inside?” Patton blinked, slowly looking up as if they were considering it. Their eyebrows were furrowed, pain flashing across their features. It looked like they wanted to close the door, walk away, and pretend none of this had ever happened. Their eyes - puffy and red from crying - shifted back and forth between Roman and his dad, muscles tense, prepared to run. But then a violent shudder racked their tiny body and Roman watched with a tight throat as Patton carefully nodded their head. 

 

“Yes...yes please.” 

 

    The thespian cringed, stepping aside as his father let Patton inside. His friend looked so small, shoulders hunched and hands awkwardly hung at their side. Roman wanted to help, call the police, go to an emergency room, do  _ whatever _ needed to be done. But he didn't  _ know _ what to do, how to help, hell, he wasn't even eighteen! So Roman just let his dad do the talking, a frenzing panic settling deep in his gut that he fought to hide. He had to be strong right now, Patton had always been there for them, now it was Roman’s turn to return the favor. He blindly followed his dad into the kitchen. 

 

    “You can call me Phil by the way,” Roman's dad - Phil - said voice still gentle as always. He sat Patton down at the kitchen table while Charlie came and sniffed at the younger teen suspiciously. “Can I get you anything to drink? Maybe some hot cocoa?” 

 

“I-I, no thank you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. I don't-I didn’t-I'm… I’m sorry.” Patton was trembling, their whole body shaking with the effort to keep their emotions in check. 

 

      Roman couldn't just stand by and watch anymore as his friend suffered. He ran to grab a blanket off the back of the couch then threw it over Patton’s shoulders, letting it fall over them like a cape. “Hey Patton-Cake.” The theater nerd smiled softly, stealing the empty chair next to them. “Don't worry about it okay? It's the perfect night for a sleepover anyways!” 

 

     Now that he was up close, Roman could see that the black eye Patton was sporting was fresh, still in the process of turning an ugly dark purple and swelling into a nasty bruise. Despite the fact that the heat was cranked up high, warding off the frigid winter air, Patton still shivered uncontrollably. Their hands were clenched in tight fists around the blanket on their shoulders and they refused to look up from their lap. 

 

     “Itsa school night,” Patton whispered, more to themselves than anyone else. “I shouldn't have come, I shouldn't have come, I just didn't think-” their eyes were cloudy and their skin was pale. 

 

“Patton-” Roman started, but the words caught in his throat.He had to swallow down the panic that threatened to choke him in order to continue. What had happened to his best friend? Who had hit them? Why did they show up at his house in the dead of night?

 

    Roman's dad set two mugs of hot cocoa and an ice pack on the table with a  _ clink _ and both boys visible flinched. “It's okay. I'm happy you're here.”

 

     “No I really shouldn't have, I'm so sorry-” Patton pushed their chair back and went to stand, breath coming in erratic, stuttered hiccups as their chest heaved. Roman reached out, desperate to get them to stay, to talk, to receive the  _ medical attention _ they needed so badly. He grabbed Patton’s hands in his own, but the smaller teenager screamed and almost knocked their chair over trying to get away. 

 

     Roman’s dad was there in an instant, abandoning his post at the kitchen counter. He gently approached Patton who was clutching their hands to their chest, trembling like a cornered animal. “Hey,” Phil whispered, keeping his voice low and measured. “You're safe Patton. You're okay. Why don't we all sit down, and put some ice on your eye? You don't have to tell us what happened or why you are here, but we wanna make you feel better.” 

 

    Roman blinked rapidly, willing his eyes to dry as he nodded along to every word his dad said. As he’d grown, Roman had come to learn that adults weren’t always right, that they often lied or manipulate a situation to get what they wanted. But right now, Roman didn’t care if his dad stretched the truth. All that mattered was that Patton calmed down enough to receive help. 

 

    “And there's nothing wrong with staying the night,” Phil continued “The house is too big for the three of us as it is.” 

 

    Charlie shoved her wet nose into Patton's leg as if to prove the point, nuzzling into the teenager’s side. Scrubbing at their cheeks, careful of their bruise, Patton nodded. “Okay,” they whimpered, still wiping at tears that had long since dried. “Still, I'm s-sorry about just sh-showing up a-and, and, and crying and yeah...” 

 

   “It's alright.” Phil smiled. He straightened out the blanket around Patton’s shoulders and then reached for the ice pack on the table, handing it to the trembling child. “Keep pressure on that eye okay?” 

 

“Okay.” Patton sniffled, cautiously sitting back down next to Roman. Charlie followed them, resting her head on the teen's lap, her tail wagging as she begged for attention. 

 

    When they didn't set the ice to their eye, Roman carefully- as not to scare his friend - leaned over and took it from their hands. Patton still flinched, but let the thespian hold the ice to his bruise. Neither one of them uttered a word as Patton stared blankly ahead of themselves, blue eyes hazy with exhaustion, and shock. However, the silence was welcomed. Roman didn't think he could talk past the tears that threatened to cascade down his cheeks and expose just how scared he truly felt. He’d seen Patton cry, he’d seen their face turn red with anger and he’d seen them burst into tears at the end of a long day. But never before had Roman seen Patton like this, looking for the life of them like they lived on a whole ‘nother planet entirely, like they wanted to stop existing. 

 

     All of a sudden Roman’s dad knew just what to say. He kept his voice low, for which the thespian was grateful. Patton still looked one wrong move away from bolting out the door. “You can sleep in Roman's room tonight, or the guest bedroom, whichever makes you more comfortable,” he started, neatly folding his hands atop the table from where he sat. “Tomorrow we  _ will _ have to talk about what happened.” Roman felt Patton stiffen under his hands and he quickly made a shushing noise in the back of his throat, desperate to comfort. 

 

   “But for now just relax.” Roman nodded in acknowledgement, gently brushing his thumb over Patton's uninjured cheekbone. “It's getting late, but if you boys wanna stay up and watch a movie I wouldn't mind. I'm heading to bed soon but Patton…” Roman let his hand fall to his lap as his friends head snapped towards the sound of their name. Their mussels were rigid and their teeth were clenched as if they were preparing for the worse. Roman was ready to fight his dad right then and there if he needed to. “If you need anything don't hesitate to ask.” 

 

   As the older man pushed in his chair and headed up stairs, Roman couldn't help but feel an immense amount of admiration for his father. Where most parents would demand to know what had happened, call the police or simply kick out his friend, his dad had remained calm and even managed to comfort Patton. Maybe it was the lawyer in him coming out - he had lots of practice trying to remain relaxed and neutral under extreme pressure - or maybe he was just a good person. Either way, Roman loved him  _ so much. _

 

    “Wanna head upstairs?” the thespian asked, setting the melting ice against the table. Patton nodded, following Roman as the dog sniffed at their feet all the way up the stairs. 

  
  


-

 

    Patton snuggled up to Roman, their head resting against his chest, fairy lights casting the room into a warm glow. The theater geek’s bedroom looked like something out of a dream, with its four poster bed, elegant bookshelves and plush carpeting. Patton felt like they fit right in, their thoughts nothing more than a broken camera lens that refused to focus. Everything felt as if it was clouded in fog. Their words and movements were moments that Patton themself had not chosen to partake in, almost like they were swimming their way through a nightmare. 

 

    Surely, this all must be happening to someone else and they were just watching from the other side of a screen. It was just a movie, or even one of those fantasy books Logan liked so much. And all Patton had do it to make it stop was close the cover. Hit pause, squeeze his eyes shut and never open them again. 

 

    Yet Roman's gentle, hazel eyes were real, and the steady up and down of Roman's chest was real, and the proximity of Roman, their noses nearly touching, breath mingling, was real. The sheets beneath them, Charlie cuddled against their back, even, (hopefully) the words that Phil has said, all real.  _ Patton was real.  _ They weren't some fictional character whose actions and mistakes could be rewritten. Patton was just as stuck in the the real world as the lump stuck in their throat. 

 

     For now, Patton choose to ignore their problems and snuggle with Roman under the warm, soft, comforters. They knew it wouldn't last, but at least they could pretend, if only for a second, that things were normal. That this was just the average everyday sleepover and that Patton wouldn't have to talk about  _ it _ in the morning. That they wouldn’t have to talk about what would happen next, helplessly, watching their whole life fell apart in front of them. 

 

    “Hey,” Roman whispered, gently pushing the mop of curly hair back from Patton’s eyes and effectively bringing the smaller teen back to the present. “Get out of your head Pat.” 

 

“Right sorry,” Patton breathed, unable to help themselves as they shuddered violently. Roman went to pull his hand away, eyes wide with guilt, but Patton quickly leaned back into the touch. They were suddenly desperate for affection. They wanted to be held, to be comforted, to feel  _ safe _ . They want to be told that everything was going to be okay again, even if they themselves didn't believe that. 

 

    “Roman,” Patton croaked, their voice barely a whisper. “I think I owe you an explanation.” 

 

“No you don’t,” the older boy responded immediately. His thumb was now tracing soothing circles on Patton's uninjured cheek. 

 

     Patton swallowed against the fear that had gotten lodged in his throat, making it difficult to breathe. “No, I-I want to.” They were met with silence, along with Roman's ernest stare, so they took it as a sign to continue. 

 

   “They found out somehow. About the whole-whole… gender thing,” they started. Even though their voice was nothing more than a mere whisper, it filled up the silence, drowning Roman’s heart in a heavy doom.

 

   “A-and my dad was-he was upset.” The hand on Patton’s cheek stilled, the thespian suddenly tense, mussels rigid. “He kept saying he was d-d-disappointed in me a-and stuff but my stepmom… she was  _ mad _ .” 

 

    Their breath hitched and they suddenly found themselves struggling to remain calm. So much had gone wrong today but there was one thing they still in their control it had to be themselves. Patton could at least get through this stupid sentence, they had to,  _ they had to _ . “So sh-she...she-she-she, she uh-um…

 

      “She hit me,” they finished, voice ringing heavy and bitter in the air. 

 

     It would have been normal for Patton to cry right then, maybe bury their face in Roman's shirt and sob, but they didn't. They were so use to hiding their feeling with a smile or a quick joke that everything just felt numb. 

 

    “Is this the first time?” Patton shook their head no, grimacing at the sharp intake of Roman's breath. 

 

    “My dad didn't…I didn't wanna upset him so I never let him know…” Patton closed their eyes, their hands coming to rest against Roman’s chest. Their dad was a busy man. He worked long hours and often came home late. He spent his weekends alone, with his wife, or even back at the office, whiling away his life in a lonely cubicle. It was made abundantly clear that there was little time for Patton, that he didn’t want Patton around. Patton was a mistake, an accident, the child his dad has never wanted. 

 

    But Patton made due. Things had been different with their mom around; softer, kinder. But then she had died, passed away peacefully in her sleep. Depressed and helpless, Patton had quickly learned that no amount of whining or crying could bring her back. They taught themselves to shut up and shove those feelings to the deepest corner of their mind. If they acted like everything was okay, then they wouldn't worry their dad or even the teachers at school. It wasn’t so easy to slip their sorrow’s past Dr. Picani (Patton knew, deep down, that the school counselor  _ probably _ saw past their facade anyways but, old habits die hard), but it was mangable. 

 

    Fake a smile, make a few puns, pretend that you weren't desperate for affection. It was easy.  _ It was lonely _ . But Patton was determined not to turn out like their dad or step mom. They avoided doing so like one would avoid a random brown stain in a carpet. Kindness and empathy came naturally to them, so Patton turned their attention towards others in need, volunteering to sit with Logan at lunch and walk the new kids around the school. Instead of letting their feelings fester Patton turned their misery into compassion and rarely spoke of their own misfortune. 

 

    That was, until Virgil and Logan and Roman. They all cared so much,  _ too _ much. They let Patton in on their lives, their families, their secretes. The three of them made Patton feel comfortable enough to open up, to feel safe, even after being beaten by their own family. 

 

    “But then she  _ hit me  _ in front of  _ him  _ for the _ first time  _ and _ he didn't stop her just let it happen.  _ A-a-after the initial shock m-my Dad-he… he said  _ get out _ and I thought he was talking to her but he was  _ talking to me. _ He hates me because I'm a boy,  _ he hates me. He hates me!”  _

 

   “Shhh,” Patton was becoming hysterical, words falling from their mouth like rocks fall during an avalanche. Roman brushed the tears from their cheeks. Patton hadn't even noticed that they were crying. “I've got you. You're okay now.” 

 

    Patton whimpered, a small pathetic sound, and buried their face into Roman’s chest, unable to stop crying despite their best efforts. Now that they had started, they knew they were not going to stop. “I-I-I can't go home,” they hiccuped, voice choked and tight. “I-i can't go home, I wanna go home!” Patton was aware they were crying like a child, but they didn't care anymore. Everything had been building up for so long, like heavy snow that wouldn't stop falling, causing power to go out and roofs to cave in. 

 

    So Patton wept and sobbed and  _ wailed  _ until it felt like they would never be able cry again. And once the tears had stopped Roman was still there, furiously swiping the pad of his thumb across Patton’s cheek and cradling them close to his chest. 

 

    “Hey,” Roman whispered, voice incredibly soft as he gently kissed Patton's forehead. “Why not create a new home? You, and me, and even Logan and Virgil if they want to join in. And their moms and their dads too. We can be your new home.” 

 

    Patton nodded numbly, their nose dripping snot and their eyes half lidded. “I’d like that,” they whispered. 

 

“Me too,” Roman responded, running his fingers up and down Patton’s back until the both of them were fast asleep. 

  
  


-

 

    It was raining outside. Both Logan and Virgil were soaked despite hitching a ride from Emile. They had planned on walking, ditching school altogether and heading to Romans house once the bus dropped them off, but the counselor was having none of it. Even though Patton and Roman got to miss school, Emile made them stay the whole day, then took the two of them to Roman’s once classes were over. 

 

    Now they stood on the thespians door steps, wet hair dripping into their eyes as they waited for someone to answer the door. 

 

    “Man,” Virgil muttered through clenched teeth. “This  _ sucks _ .” 

 

“Yes, the rain is not ideal.” Logan agreed, looking up towards the grey clouds tiredly. 

 

    “No I mean-” Virgil started, cutting himself off with an undignified a groan, hands flapping at his sides. “Patton! They don’t deserve this Logan! Out of all of us…” suddenly the emo found his throat closed, his lips unable to form the words he so desperately wanted too. Coughing, Virgil continued, “They deserve this the least…” 

 

     The front door opened then, a nervous, sheepish smile gracing Roman’s lips. “Hey guys.” the thespian let his friends inside, watching awkwardly as the pair stripped from their wet jackets. “Uh, Patton just woke up so,” 

 

“How are they?” Virgil asked, shoving his hands deep in his pockets, casting an anxious glance into the living room.

 

    Patton was sitting on the couch, wearing one of Roman’s tee-shirts. It looked big on them, awkwardly falling over their shoulders and chest. Their glasses were missing and they stared at whatever was playing on the T.V. with a permanent frown, a hazzy, glassed over look in their normally bright eyes. Most shockingly however, was the dark blue bruise blossoming on one side of their face. It was an ugly, swollen wound, turning varying shades of purple and red. 

 

    Virgil swallowed thickly. He’d seen bloody noses and broken arms,  _ hell _ he’d even seen Patton beaten up before but nothing hurt quite like this. No, this hit a little too close to home. Patton looked like one of the far too many foster kids Virgil had seen, helpless and heartbroken after learning they no longer had a family to go back to. After learning there was no one left who cared enough to hug them after a bad day and tuck them in late at night. Patton looked  _ just _ like what Virgil imagined he did the day CPS had found him. 

 

    “Hey,” the emo said softly, carefully approaching his friend as if he was a spooked animal. 

 

“Hmmh,” Patton hummed in response, blinking as they looked up at Virgil. 

 

“How you doing?” 

 

   “Tired,” Patton kept their knees tucked to the side as Virgil sat next to them, watching their friend with dull, blue, eyes. 

 

“Me too.” Virgil smiled lightly, surveying Roman as he sat on Patton’s other side. 

 

“Me three,” the theater geek joked, immediately cuddling up to the smaller teen. 

 

    “You can sleep if you want,” Virgil whispered, gently pushing back Patton’s chaotic hazel hair. The teens eyes widened then, their free hand reaching for Virgil’s desperately. 

 

“J-just-just don’t go!” they begged, their voice no more than a panicked whisper. 

 

“Hey, no it’s okay! We aren’t going anywhere!” Roman was quick to reassure, sending a fugitive glance over at Logan, who was still standing by the entryway looking shell shocked.  

 

    “We will not leave you,” the nerd muttered, straightening his glasses and refusing to look up from the floor. 

 

“Even if Chris Hemsworth asked me on a date, I would turn him down, just to be with  _ you _ ,” Roman declared, gently bopping Patton's nose. 

 

    Patton smiled, a tentative, watery thing and nodded. The smile was fake,  _ so obviously fake _ even Logan could tell, but Virgil choose not to comment on it. There were more important things to worry about. The emo presses a tentative kiss to his best friends forehead, still playing with their hair. Roman’s started humming then, a nonsensical tune with no real rhyme or rhythm. His chest vibrated along with the song and soon enough Patton was fast asleep. 

 

    “You know,” Virgil grumbled, refusing to look up from Patton, his grey eyes clouded with a protection and love. “They don’t bite.” 

 

Logan cleared his throat. “I am aware.” 

 

“So, you don’t have to be afraid.” the angsty teen tried again, raising an eyebrow in Logan’s direction. 

 

“I… am aware…” 

 

     “I’m gonna get some water.” Roman suddenly said, voice hushed and sharp. He stood up, pointedly ignored Logan and sulked into the kitchen as quietly as he could. 

 

    Logan shifted awkwardly from where he stood, tentatively making his way towards the couch, but not yet sitting down. “Did I upset him somehow?” Virgil hummed in response as he looked up at his friend. 

 

“I think Roman’s just mad.” 

 

“I...I am also mad.” The angsty teen nodded, encouraging Logan to countuine. “I am mad that someone could hurt Patton so badly. It’s not fair.” 

 

“Life rarely is-”

 

    “Well it should be!” Logan yelled, stomping his foot for effect, no matter how childish it was. “I-I do not understand how-how this could happen. How w-how  _ I _ could let this happen.” His chest was heaving, and he refused to look down at Virgil, blinking rapidly as he choked on unshed tears. 

 

    Carefully, Virgil stood up. The bags under his eyes almost looked like bruises. “Can I hug you?” he asked Logan, keeping his voice down for Patton’s sake. 

 

    Logan nodded, letting Virgil’s lanky arm’s snake around him and pull him close. Logan did not hug back. That was okay. The tears finally fell, leaving the nerd feeling better somehow.  Quite sobs shook his body. “I am sorry for crying,” he whispered past the lump in his throat, clinging to Virgil. 

 

    “It’s okay,” the emo responded. “Everybody cries. Even me.” By the time Logan’s sobs had been refused to mere sniffles the two of them had been moved to the couch, with Logan flushed against Virgil’s side, a comforting arm still wrapped around his waist. 

 

    Rarely did Logan allow himself to become so emotionally vulnerable, rarely did he even  _ feel _ such strong emotions. But seeing Patton with the bruise on their cheek, realizing that they no longer had a home, no warm bed to climb into at the end of the night and no family to kiss them at the conclusion of a hard day, it had broken something in Logan. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what life would be like without Emile or his mom but Patton had to. Patton had no one left to take care of them. 

 

_ No _ , Logan thought through the grief clouding his thoughts.  _ He has us. He has me.  _

 

    “Glad you decided to join us,” Roman grumbled at Logan as he returned from the kitchen. He immediately sat next to Patton, watching over the smaller teen protectively as they continued to peacefully sleep. 

 

“I do not-”

 

     “Shut up Dr. Franken-stink” Roman snapped. He could feel Virgil’s glare but he mostly shrugged it off. He was allowed to be a mad. Everyone was tense, and Logan had no right pretending his emotions didn’t exist. Especially now that their best friend had been so cruelly kicked out. 

 

   Running a hand down his face, the thespian sighed. “My dad said Patton could stay here until further notice by the way. He’s gonna stop by their house and try to pick up some clothes. Guess we’ll see how  _ that _ goes...” 

 

“Are you sure? My moms wouldn’t-”

 

“Don’t worry about it Virge,” Roman grumbled. “It’s no big deal.” Virgil hummed, running a hand through Logan’s hair 

 

    Roman watched the three of them, the T.V. creating a calming background noise. Patton was still asleep, their knees tucked up on the coushins, head lulled to the side, chest rising and falling steadily. Virgil was holding one of Patton’s hands, his other arm encompassing Logan in a hug as the nerd found himself drawn into the cartoon. 

    Roman loved his friends. He cared for them  _ so _ deeply it hurt. He was never going to let anything bad happen to them ever again if he could help it. They might disagree sometimes, argue and swear and cry on each other’s shoulders until their throats were raw, but they still loved each other. 

  
    And then it hit Roman, sitting in his living room, surrounded by those mourning a broken heart, that he loved his friends.  _ He was in love with his best friends.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry.
> 
> We're really in the thick of things now guys. Like, the climax and everything. I'm so excited.
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated!


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